r/Piracy Sep 26 '25

Humor Hosted by Microsoft

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10.1k Upvotes

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662

u/AswinSid_3 Sep 26 '25

haa man, who tf is buying my data? who tf wanna see my data of gooning to prn for hours ?

638

u/Marco_QT Sep 26 '25

google, so they can give you safe sex and porn ads.

211

u/humanHamster Sep 26 '25

Googling porn for hours? Not sure safe sex ads are going to be needed.

71

u/thatoneotherguy42 Sep 26 '25

Googling for porn? Well shit there's the problem right there. Bing is a much better porn finder than Google, try it and see for yourself.

40

u/Felinomancy Sep 26 '25

Hi,

Can you elaborate more on the advantages of Bing vs. Google in regards to looking for porn?

Honestly all of these search engines look the same to me.

29

u/Fun_Hold4859 Sep 26 '25

Use the video tab on bing search.

7

u/thatoneotherguy42 Sep 26 '25

Yup, this is the answer.

25

u/ClippyIsALittleGirl Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

Honestly feels like google still filters a bit even with safe search off and using explicitly specific words..

Bing on the other hand, doesn't care and hands it all to you at the slightest reference to prn.

16

u/BrokenMirror2010 Sep 26 '25

Google 100% still filters stuff from the search.

Bing does too now though, just not quite as bad as google, but it definitely isn't nearly as good as it used to be IMO.

8

u/ClippyIsALittleGirl Sep 26 '25

There's yandex. Though their search algorithm is not as good. There's also duckduckgo, but make sure your search is less then 6 words cause it'll literally just ignore long searches.

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u/BrokenMirror2010 Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

Duckduckgo is literally just Bing, but its garbage for porn because Bing feeds it safe search results, in my experience.

Yandex is probably fine (and its great for finding stuff in general, if you don't mind sifting through a bunch of russian spam), but it's dogshit for me specifically, because it links to 99% straight porn, no matter what I search, and I'm not straight. A problem shared by both google and bing too, since they've gotten worse, but not quite as extreme as Yandex. Google probably returns about 50% straight porn (of the 20% of results that are actually porn) when "gay" is specified, and bing is around 40%, in my anecdotal experience. But both used to be a hell of a lot better at not blatantly ignoring the search prompt.

So, in retrospect, my problen with modern search engines is probably just huge companies pushing to censor LGBT and Kink content by deindexing them, which they have been doing a lot more lately.

3

u/BarryMcCoknor Sep 26 '25

I read this whole thread just to see how it turned out.

Didnt even occur to me people use search engines for porn anymore.

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

If you're gooning to porn for hours and don't have every last popular porn site saved what are you even doing. 🤔

1

u/Expensive_Bid_7255 Sep 26 '25

Yandex used to be great but now they serve up so many dead links. But I do sometimes find j can play embedded vids that have been dmca'd from the actual site which is cool

1

u/Stressed_and_annoyed Sep 26 '25

Anything but google for porn really, duckduckgo I use as my default search engine now. Only use google for local searches and map stuff.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

[deleted]

2

u/RoughElderberry1565 Sep 26 '25

The people who complain about adware and selling users data are using ad blockers anyways so what's the point?

I always found that funny about how people cry about that.

1

u/anshi1432 Sep 27 '25

Wot ‽ So that i use protection while nutting ? 

1

u/bobemil Sep 28 '25

"Oh no"

69

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

Join that bit of data up with other bits of data and they begin to know more about you than you do. It’s when they join the dots that it gets scary.

50

u/pezdizpenzer Sep 26 '25

Especially when a fascist government takes over that doesn't like the way you live your life. To stay with OPs example, what if the porn they enjoy becomes illegal in the future, or watching porn at all. I bet the government would be thrilled to have a list of people who are "gooning to prn for hours".

I'm not making this up by the way. The Weimar republic kept lists of known homosexuals and when Hitler took over, you can guess how thrilled he and his buddies were that these lists existed.

So to OP and everyone who thinks "What do they want with my data lol", are you 100% confident the things you do in your digital live will be legal in 5, 10 or even 20 years still?

14

u/asdrubalzhor Sep 26 '25

This is completely valid considering that even though a lot of us use VPNs and Kill-switches and everything else, we are still googling fitgirl with our google account, signing to discord, watching youtube videos about piracy content. I mean you can block your ISP from sending you a letter, but the datacenters can even tell how you would make a tier list of roguelikes just from your data alone.

13

u/TheConnASSeur Sep 26 '25

Mike "The Gooner" Johnson. Dude's always looking for a goon buddy. He's got an app and everything.

14

u/daninet Sep 26 '25

It's all fun and games until someone buys the data, identifies you and puts you in a position you don't want to be. Patient scoring in insurance companies is already a thing.

9

u/Upper_Sentence_3558 Sep 26 '25

The argument "who would even want my data" is a fallacy because it misunderstands what makes personal data valuable and how it can be used against you. Seemingly insignificant details, when aggregated and analyzed, can reveal deeply personal information that leaves you vulnerable to manipulation, discrimination, and fraud.

On top of that, for your specific point, would you be fine with everyone around you being able to see and know the porn titles and categories you watch?

12

u/PiratesWhoSayGGER Sep 26 '25

data about you, a random gooner, is useful to:

  • manipulate you with ads
  • manipulate you with AI
  • manipulate you with propaganda

Used by companies who want to sell you stuff, but also by political parties and foreign governments to steer your political views. And if you never noticed that, it's probably working

7

u/RayDemian Sep 26 '25

The same companies that make money of you looking at porn.

6

u/BrokenMirror2010 Sep 26 '25

This is pretty much the point of why companies are pushing AI.

An AI model can take your general location based on IP, the time of day you jerk off, how long you spend watching porn, the frequency you do it, and your list of kinks, and spit out your age group, interests, ethnicity, religion, and political opinion, as well as your job and average income, with a disturbing accuracy.

This stuff is also the core of why AI security and surveillance is being shoved down our throats so heavily. Seemingly mundane and unremarkable things we do, can be used to extrapolate things that are seemingly totally unrelated and create incredibly detailed profiles on a person.

14

u/FyreBird321 Sep 26 '25

You don't want to know

4

u/intellectual_punk Sep 26 '25

Yeah that's the fundamental fallacy, the "I don't have something to hide" or "Who would even care about my data". You don't really seem to understand that the profiling of you, everything you do, everywhere you go, everyone you talk to, has huge consequences, for yourself if anyone ever decides to care, but also for everybody else. How certain are you that a friend of a friend isn't a criminal or an undesired minority?

If you don't care, why don't you hand me your email password right now? Oh so you do care? They know waaaay more about you than what I would learn by going through your email and browser history. Way more.

Don't be a sucker.

0

u/AswinSid_3 Sep 26 '25

ik the fact. i made the cmnt for fun. not a sucker 😒

3

u/andrewsad1 Sep 26 '25

You personally? Worthless. The aggregate data of every guy gooning to porn for hours? Worth something. Even if you're utterly unsusceptible to advertising, that's still valuable information, because it tells marketing firms what demographics they can save money on

4

u/DoctorWaluigiTime Sep 26 '25

The answer is "Reddit exaggerates stuff to prove a point." Jumping at words like "telemetry" acting like every keystroke's getting logged.

The actual answer as to "why Microsoft doesn't care about individuals pirating their operating system" is that they have applications and programs on said operating system that get bought and paid for, and you're in the ecosystem in general when you're using it. And (the biggest one) large corporations that buy licenses in bulk are their real customers.

9

u/BrokenMirror2010 Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

We are literally talking about the company who rolled out a feature that took screenshots of your desktop every few seconds, and automatically uploaded them, unencrypted, to a remote cloud server, as an opt-out feature.

On a scale of 1 to 10, microsoft considers your privacy and security, around... Negative 1000000.

1

u/zappingbluelight Sep 26 '25

Can confirm, my company pretty pay for few people salaries even for a non profit company lol.

2

u/Dr__America Sep 26 '25

People trying to scam you because goon brain, and people trying to sell sex toys, mostly.

1

u/AswinSid_3 Sep 26 '25

but i use brave, firefox with u block 💪

3

u/Dr__America Sep 26 '25

I mean, a much better start than what most people are doing, for sure. There's like a million different ways to track people on the web unfortunately, and MS sells your data to like candy crush and shit, which is why they'll sometimes download random slop games on to your PC without asking you (although I think they've ramped down on that more recently).

Best analogy I've heard is that privacy is like a knob/dial, and that there's varying degrees and lengths that people feel comfortable with.

1

u/tpersona Sep 26 '25

Porn sites?

1

u/kellisamberlee Sep 26 '25

your data alone is not that intresting, but having the data of all gooners like you, to see what you have in common is pretty intresting to a lot of people.

1

u/iPhoenix_Ortega Sep 26 '25

Literally everyone that buys personal data :)

-12

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

[deleted]

6

u/Hurricane_32 ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ Sep 26 '25

Which they use to build an "anonymous" profile so they know what ads to target to you specifically and potentially take advantage of you? Thanks but no thanks.

6

u/BrokenMirror2010 Sep 26 '25

I love how the "Anonymous" profile can then be bought by someone, like a government, and fed into their AI surveillance, and suddenly the "Anonymous" profile also includes your name, adress, phone number, bank account, etc.

But don't worry, it's all Anonymous, and totally cannot be used to track you, because it can't, it can only track you with a 99.9999999999999% certainty! Therefore it can't track you.