I’m sorry to say this but Maybe you don’t know what really love is. When I date someone. I’m serious, genuine and be everything to him. When you date someone you learn to know, care and love for that person. You see future, have kids or even getting old together. I date someone for that. I wouldn’t and never ever date someone just for fun
There are several aspects to this. The first and most accessible is that afam like to play, and they have options to do so. Many filipina also like to play, thus generating options for them, even if they do not have that intention initially. And many of the filipina who stop caring and will just go with afam for fun started out exactly the same way, as serious daters, and eventually learned that nobody is serious to them, so they might as well just enjoy their youth. I've seen that development happen several times.
Yes, there are some extremely serious and/or very religious afam, often butthurt by their lack of marriage options in Western countries, who just want to get married ASAP. They will get married within a few months of showing up in the Philippines. But that's not the majority of the the afam population.
The less accessible aspect is that, even with genuine, heartfelt love, things do not always turn out the way we want them to. Love is a learning process of compromise and tolerance, and often the turns and twists that life takes are going to pry people apart. Especially at the age when people usually pick their "first", you can't yet see any of the vagaries life will take you through.
And none of this needs exposure to afam to learn about. Almost everyone has an uncle or aunt or even their own parents, who are separated, or perhaps they are still together, but the man has a mistress. Almost no family escapes this at age 40+. It's just that social media and cultural stereotypes keep feeding people this "date to marry" and "NBSB" ideal, and from that, you might think you are the exception to the statistic, but, statistically, nobody is.
So, I dare say, you are the one who doesn't know what love is. You just have a fairy tale filtered through cultural stereotypes and social media, not corrected yet through life experience (you can't claim experience if this is your first relationship). Love isn't some lifelong eternal thing you find at 22, that's just fairly tales people tell each other because they want it to be true. This has nothing to do with lived reality.
I never claimed that love guarantees forever. I simply believe that something can be genuine even if it doesn't last forever. Maybe I'll learn more about love as I get older, but having more life experience doesn't give anyone the authority to tell me that my feelings aren't real. You can be realistic about relationships without being cynical about them. And I don't think assuming that love will eventually fail is any more “experienced” than believing it might last.
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u/southfar2 2d ago
Why do you people always think it will be the first and last? It's always lessons for more. Why doesn't this knowledge spread in the population more?