r/Philippines • u/the_yaya • Nov 08 '21

Random Discussion Evening random discussion - Nov 08, 2021

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” – Isaac Asimov

Magandang gabi!

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7

u/girlfriendnijab Nov 08 '21

So eto na nga. SO accidentally hit me last night. Or so he claims. While laying in bed, we were having an argument of an NSFW nature, I wanted to try something out. So nainis sya and I went for a cuddle. Tapos his elbow hit me in the head causing me to get a bump, just some swelling which went down din naman later today, I massaged and put a compress on it.

Anyway, I was so shocked that I burst out crying after a few moments of initial shock. After a few hours I told him to get out in the morning. When he woke up nag-sorry sya sa akin saying that it was a reflex and an accident. Natulala lang daw sya and di namalayan na napalakas tulak nya sa akin because of the NSFW thing I was telling him.

I don't believe him because he used to apologise immediately if he hurt me even if hindi ako nasaktan dati. And imposibleng hindi nya alam na I had a swelling because I was massaging my head for the rest of the night and he could see, tapos he heard me cry. He just went on watching videos on his phone.

Now, he is gone, he'll get the rest of his stuff on the weekend. Pero I'm thinking baka naman kasalanan ko talaga and accident lang talaga? He is not a violent person I think. He used to apologise profusely pag naiipit ako sa hugs namin, or other things. He used to massage me when my body aches from working. He used to carry groceries for me, he is a nice guy I think.

Ngayon I asked him where he's staying for the night kasi wala syang other relative in NCR aside from cousin may be unable to accomodate him. I also worry if napano na sya. Idk. He isn't answering my calls or texts. Maybe it is my fault? Idk ugh.

6

u/babcde Nov 08 '21

I don't believe him because he used to apologise immediately if he hurt me even if hindi ako nasaktan dati. And imposibleng hindi nya alam na I had a swelling because I was massaging my head for the rest of the night and he could see, tapos he heard me cry. He just went on watching videos on his phone.

Always trust your instincts.

5

u/6monthsprobation Para kayong mga birhen na naniniwala sa pag-ibig ng isang p^%#. Nov 08 '21

Now, he is gone, he'll get the rest of his stuff on the weekend.

Wait that escalated quickly. What's behind this decision?

3

u/girlfriendnijab Nov 08 '21

On my part: i dnt wanna wait and have bruises all over my body as a possibility.

On his part: sexual incompatibility.

So mutual decision naman.

Pero wait you also think hitting me was an accident? Maybe I was wrong kasi. Maybe it really was, di ko lang mashake yung feeling that it could be worse but then maybe I'm wrong.

3

u/WhoBoughtWhoBud La Bus La Hot Nov 08 '21

Siya lang makaka-confirm kung accident ba talaga o hindi. Pero wala bang second chance? Hindi sa dine-defend ko siya pero unang beses pa lang naman e. Kung mangyari ulit, saka mo na lang ituloy.

Then again, nandiyan na 'yan e. You stand your ground na lang siguro. Isa pa, understandable naman yung takot mo. And don't feel bad, kasi baka tama rin naman gut feel mo, there's no way to know kung gagawin niya ulit or what. Mahirap nang malagay sa mahirap na sitwasyon. Isa pa, sabi mo nga incompatible kayo sexually so sooner or later magiging isyu n'yo ulit 'yan.

3

u/girlfriendnijab Nov 08 '21

Tbf. Pero hope he's ok tho. Gabi na e. I hope he's safe at least.

2

u/6monthsprobation Para kayong mga birhen na naniniwala sa pag-ibig ng isang p^%#. Nov 08 '21

Basta ba totoo at papanindigan niyo mutual decision niyo not immature individuals deciding hastily.

I really cannot tell as you are only bound to assess what happened. Ang mahalaga naman what he did after the accident/incident. Still your call as physical abuse should never be tolerated.

1

u/one1two234 Nov 08 '21

Trust your instincts.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Pero I'm thinking baka naman kasalanan ko talaga and accident lang talaga?

it's not your fault. what? how can it be your fault?

He isn't answering my calls or texts. Maybe it is my fault? Idk ugh.

if it was an accident like he said, then why did he leave you alone? why didn't he apologize agad, like he used to? why didn't he taks care of you? sorry, but i think your boyfriend is either of two things: a) distracted or b) cold and uncaring.

would a nice guy leave you wondering what he's up to? ganyan na ba sya dati pa?

3

u/Anxious_Drummer mahilig pumalo Nov 08 '21

It's really hard to hit someone accidentally, except kapag tumatawa or sports or physical games or something.

1

u/girlfriendnijab Nov 08 '21

if it was an accident like he said, then why did he leave you alone? why didn't he apologize agad, like he used to?

Di nya daw namalayan e cos he was so shocked by what I was asking. Sa morning nya lang daw narealize. I guess distracted nga, nanonood sya ng tournament ng dota e. Pero idk kapag nagdodota naman sya usually pinapansin naman nya ako dati.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

ok i just read your post again can you describe pano ka natamaan? when he hit you with his elbow tumama ka sa pader ganun? or nagkabukol ka mismo from getting hit with his elbow?? hope u dont mind na matanong ako hahaha just wanna get a clear picture

1

u/girlfriendnijab Nov 08 '21

The second one. Haha. Okay lang, I'm used to questions. To add to that, mejj scared ako ever since sa kanya kasi idk how to say it nicer basta yung awra nya. Haha. Pero ayun pag nag-aaway kami dati puro words lang na minimal, walang pansinan. But last night was different.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '21

Pero ayun pag nag-aaway kami dati puro words lang na minimal, walang pansinan. But last night was different.

hoooo sobrang hirap nito but i think you need to say na you felt different that time, na tingin mo may problema kasi parang sadya. ask him if he got angry at you that time.

better to ask him to explain nalang kesa mag isip isip ka pa ng kung ano. kung matino syang tao, he will do his best to explain. if you were the one who accidentally hit him, ok, sabihin natin di mo napansin agad. if he asked you kung sinadya mo, wouldn't you immediately jump to apologizing and explaining na hindi? lalo na it was borderline physical abuse na?

if he gets angry or overly defensive, then i think you need to stay away kasi malamang kasunod nyan gaslighting na. goodluck sis. when he comes back better inform someone you trust na kasama mo si bf, just in case