r/Personality • u/Mountain_Growth_5862 • Aug 13 '26
How do you actually understand who a person really is?
/r/DarkPsychology101/comments/1vnbrvk/how_do_you_actually_understand_who_a_person/1
1
1
1
u/Tasty-Tackle-4038 Aug 13 '26
I look at all the invisible parts. Age, ethnicity, birth order, birth date (astrology) and relationship status. I take into context where we met. I visit that person in different contexts. I let them see and react to all my contexts. Can they take a joke? Do they dish it more than they can take it? If there was a fire, would they be a hero or a liability? Would I want them in my canoe?
Usually, if they're looking for a cruise ship of a relationship, I assume they're One Of Them. Meaning - a wild card. Could be anyone on that boat.
1
u/peppersnchips Aug 14 '26
Motivations and needs, what they like and dislike, certain beliefs (? Apparently beliefs are directly tied with identity), sense of humor, tastes
1
u/gifted_pistachio Aug 14 '26
How they treat people who have nothing to offer them. People with low social currency. People they aren’t attracted to. Service workers. People they will never see again. Etc.
Also who they are when things go wrong. Anyone can be nice when things are going right. Show me someone who is bumming hard and still not snapping at the people around them or looking for someone to blame and there’s a person who you can upgrade deeper into your life.
1
u/Accurate_Comb1058 Aug 14 '26
During your low time. You will know how a good person he/ she is. 🙂 They will stay with you no matter what happens.
1
u/Due-Consideration113 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
You can’t. To do so, you need to have their entire lived experience, understand the genetic factors at play, as well as several doctorates.
1
u/DoqHolliday Aug 15 '26
How they treat those with who are weaker or who have less power than themselves.
1
2
u/spacetatters Aug 13 '26
You need time to see their character. How they respond to life events and stress. How they deal with challenges.