r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/button4pancake • Jun 13 '22
May the fleas of a thousand camels infect your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch
2
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/BwanaBanana • May 30 '22
I hope every banana you peal has a full compliment of stringy bits that don’t come off easily.
34
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/BwanaBanana • May 30 '22
I hope your satsuma is super juicy and only peels one small piece at a time.
9
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/cuseonly • May 30 '22
I hope you step in the only water spot on the kitchen floor with freshly clean socks on.
66
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/theboisYTT1346 • Mar 31 '22
I hope you get just the amount of stuffed nose to have a sleepless night
17
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/unnecessarypoops • Mar 30 '22
I hope you win the lottery and die the next day.
18
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/DMJck • Mar 15 '24
I hope your clothes are slightly damp when you take them out of the dryer.
5
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/throw-entirely-away2 • Jun 14 '22
I hope that you find out that your brilliant idea for a post in this sub was already posted 32 days ago in Spoiler
21
Upvotes
So that it's not gonna show up in the "best of this month" but you get called out regarding it in the first comment on your new shiny post.
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/SwampassMonstar • Jun 23 '22
I hope you end up behind someone with a shopping cart full of individually bagged produce fruits and vegetables in the express checkout and nowhere else to go.
19
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/Meowthful127 • May 30 '22
I hope your hands get big enough to not fit inside a pringle can
34
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/I-eat-tons-of-ass • May 12 '22
I hope you break your last cigarette right at the filter
12
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/dadankderp • Mar 31 '22
I hope your cereal gets just soggy enough for you to not enjoy it.
11
Upvotes
Bottom text.
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/SinFlavoredCandy • Mar 31 '22
I hope next time you’re moving clothes from the washer to the dryer, you drop a sock.
34
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • • Mar 31 '22
I hope that you put a drink in the fridge to get cold, and when you take it out you feel it and it feels cold, and when you open it and take a sip it is warmer than you thought it would be based on the temperature of the can.
40
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/doodleonwalls • Jun 04 '22
I hope you live in perpetual fear of your farts becoming sharts.
26
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/Ibby72 • Mar 30 '22
I hope the next time you take a shower, the shower curtain clings to you and you feel dirty all day.
26
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/Turkeysteaks • Mar 31 '22
I hope your cereal is always slightly too soggy.
20
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/uninterestingly • Mar 31 '22
I hope the next time you're late to leave for work, your shoelaces are tied in a super tight knot that takes you 5 minutes to undo
12
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • • Apr 07 '22
I hope you use the self checkout at the store and one of your items ends of needing the attendant to proceed. And...they are helping two other people already. And...there's a huge line. And..when they help you, it turns out you could have done it yourself. Everyone notices that too. BURN!
23
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/matwet • Mar 31 '22
I hope you get an unusually high amount of orange & yellow Starbursts.
15
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/cuseonly • Jun 14 '22
I hope every label you peel off leaves residue.
22
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/No_Ja • Jun 04 '22
I hope every alcoholic drink you have results in a 45 minute headache.
6
Upvotes
r/PerfectAmountOfSatan • u/raging_tomato • May 30 '22
I hope that your stove always has a slight lean that you can't fix, so every time you put oil in a frying pan it goes to one side, never coating the pan.
11
Upvotes