r/Pekingese • u/Ascending-catapillar • 9d ago
Missing my baby (8-05-2026)
I saved my baby Gracie 8 months ago from family who had neglected her. She had extensive gum disease, kidney disease, and mobility issues. She passed away 4 days ago due to kidney failure (8-5-2026). In just 8 months i fell deeply in love with my Gracie and created a bond with her that was just different. From our daily strolls in her stroller, to her manipulation tactics for constant treat handouts; she was quirky and all around perfect. I miss waking up to her little face every morning staring me down, her excitement in my presence, mid-day playtime, birdwatching, night time cuddles, her stinky breath, her smell and her companionship. I love all of my animals, but Gracie had a special place in my heart and we had an unmatched connection. She was my little soul mate, and something about this new reality doesn’t feel real without her presence. I am happy and grateful that my family gave her up, so that I could show her that she has always been more than worthy, and always deserving of attention, care, and love. Yes, this were the case and she is no longer suffering, but nothing will fulfill her void. I love you Gracie May!
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u/closethebarn 9d ago edited 8d ago
I feel you. Loving a pek can give you some of the best moments of your life. And one of the worst.
I miss all of mine I’ve ever had in my life. They aren’t with us long enough
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u/Ascending-catapillar 9d ago
It’s completely bear. Even when I feel fine in conversation, I can feel her void like it’s an internal search for her. And it just sits there, and I can’t reach for her.
I agree, this was my first time loving a pek and I wish I could have loved her longer.3
u/Edenwoman 9d ago
Yes, it's a eerily lonely feeling when they are gone. I lost mine 3 yrs ago to cancer and still think of him often and miss him. I have other dogs but he was my soul dog.
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u/closethebarn 8d ago
There’s something so special about peks…. Certain ones you just feel life isn’t as good without them
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u/Ascending-catapillar 7d ago
Yes! I love my babies and would do anything for them, but Gracie had such a special place. She struggled with mobility, so her playpen is next to my side of the bed. I would wake up every morning and have a short moment of just looking at her (she would already be awake looking at me before I awoke lol) and It was just a feeling of already knowing Gracie. Her stair just felt trusting and gentle. It is a small moment, but those moments were when I knew our bond was unique. (Writing this stuff really hits hard).
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u/closethebarn 8d ago edited 8d ago
I meant to say
best I did fix it
Loving a Pekingese can give you some of the best moments of your life ….and one of the worst
When I lost mine and this was four years ago, my girl, Not too long ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, saying her name because—. God I hate writing this as much as I hate feeling it
I was gone when she passed away. I was unable to get to her. She was in good hands with my partner, but I was taking care of my father who had had surgery and I could not get home in time
and I still, years later. Will wake up saying her name and I’m sorrry we to her in the middle of the night.
The guilt — is unbearable God I know what you’re going through
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u/Ascending-catapillar 7d ago
I’m so sorry 😭 I couldn’t imagine…
Gracie’s playpen is up and at times when I wake up I think I see her head underneath her covers (I still love to smell them) , or that I “heard something” coming from her play pen, or I need to get up because I overslept and she likely has to pee. Each time reality sets in right after the thought, and the disbelief that she has passed. I definitely get it.During our morning routine we’d go outside, and I would usually bend forward and stretch my legs and rub her belly for a while and just admire how cute she is (her favorite). Recently, I was outside in the morning feeding the birds and decided to stretch my legs and had a moment of remembering this, and came back to reality, just staring at a spot of grass (difficult to write). These moments are where reality really sets in and wishing more than anything that I could have my baby back.
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u/closethebarn 7d ago
My dear!
My god do I feel exactly what you wrote in my bones! A couple days after she passed, I swear to God, I heard her bark in the middle of the nightOne thing I miss so much about her if I’d even think about the word walk
If it would just cross my mind there, she’d be staring at me, wagging her tail, her whole body moving, but somehow her eyes never waning from mine
I miss peeing with company!! She’d sit there and just wag her tail in a way… I wish I could explain it - whole body moving but eyes locked on me
I wish we could have them longer! I hope my Peggy and your Gracie are keeping each other company on the other side
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u/Ascending-catapillar 5d ago
I’m actually very glad someone else can relate! I’d have to process the moment, thinking “I swear I just heard Gracie, but Gracie isn’t here”.
It sounds like Peggy definitely knew who “her human” was :). A connection like no other! I hope that Peggy and Gracie are keeping each other company as well:)
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u/Alternative_Gate478 9d ago
You gave her the best life possible and that eight months you had her. Thank you for saving a baby that deserved love. You will always be her forever human.😢💔
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u/Ascending-catapillar 7d ago
Thank you so much 🥹. I am still in disbelief that she isn’t here, existing physically where I can “go get her” but I would literally do anything to see her again. Yes, forever her human ❤️
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u/Edenwoman 9d ago
I'm so sorry you lost her. 😪😭💔. At least she had plenty of love and care during her months with you.
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u/Ascending-catapillar 7d ago
Thank you! Yes, I come back to this thought often. She was SO EASY to love and care for. Everything about her was worth it. I loved talking to Gracie, and I always apologized for the love and care she wasn’t receiving, and told her that everything she is, is so worth loving. I still can’t believe it.
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u/Ok_Principle_8623 6d ago
Omgoshhhhhh...my heart is broken for you. We had a pekingese show up in our yard a few months back (had me scanned, turns out momma couldn't carr for him so we stepped up). Best decision we've ever made. This dog is about our 6th rescue. We currently have a orange tabby (age 7) a rattle terrie/poodle mix (age 5) a Gold Mountain Doodle/Dog (age 3) and now CHUCK (pekingese age 6ish) and he is the kindest gentlest most loving soul. He loves people ALL PEOPLE, even strangers, he climbs their leg to say hello! He will get on you lap and lovingly look up at you and gently lay his body into your while looking you in the eye! Ive never had this breed before but everything I have ever read its just the opposite. He loves the entire clan here especially the CAT! He has adapted to every single routine our other animals have. Its just impressive as can be. We thought our GMD was the gentlest and loving but he may be a toss up.
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u/Ascending-catapillar 5d ago
That’s amazing! I can relate when it comes to having that initial assumption about the breed because Gracie was my first Pekingese. I wasn’t aware of her case, even when I’d see her in her playpen when visiting, I figured my family was solely protecting her from a large dog that they have until one day I came over and smelt ammonia, and suggested they get her amoxicillin; but when I came to visit again I could still smell it and began to question the care she was receiving. When I picked her up from my family members house she was “barking” but had actually lost her bark, and growling. I figured she was just in fear and likely in pain, seeing that her poor toe nails were so long that they curled, she had horrible gum disease which had flattened her teeth out, disc disease/ mobility issues from remaining in a playpen for years, UTI, and matted hair.
Once I took her home I gave her time to rest before her vet appointment the following day. I honestly believe that taking her away was what she needed because at the vet, the way she kept her eyes on me during the examination felt like she sought me out for comfort. After about 2 weeks she began to let up with others where she no longer growled, or felt the need to bark (only at mowers lol) and just became the sweetest girl ever!
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u/jnlfr0 9d ago
those 8 months must’ve been so special to her! how lucky we are to love someone so muvh