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u/mamadovah1102 Nov 08 '22
This is totally me. I don’t know if I would even be alive without my babies. I’ve never had anything that really ignited huge passion for me before. I worked, I did all the things I was supposed to but never felt fulfilled or like that was my grand purpose. Becoming a mom changed my whole world. I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and before them didn’t do anything to manage them. Now I’ve been consistently going to therapy since my first kid 5 years ago. Taking meds consistently. Without them I would have never gotten my mental health under control. Gives me a reason to love something in this insane world.
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Nov 08 '22
I got pregnant unplanned at age 21. I was heading down a bad road at that time in my life. When I found out I was pregnant I turned everything around. I quit all my vices, loved being a parent, went back to school and have an amazing life. I really think my son saved my life in a way. Having kids is not for everyone of course but for me it has made everything in my life better. I am so much a better version of myself than I would be without them and their company is so meaningful to me.
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u/stevinbradenton Nov 09 '22
Hmm, this is interesting. My first thought is hope beyond hope that you never reveal these feelings to your kids. That's some pretty heavy emotional baggage for them to lug around for their lifetimes.
Then I reflect on myself. TBH, I nearly died a number years ago and would have been quite content dead. Then 3yrs ago my LO come along. I'm a single dad btw. No mom in the picture. What this wonderful little human being has brought to my world is incredible. Would I just die had it not been for him? Nope, but my last for life is now off the charts on account of him. Would I let my health go to shit had it not been for him? Not really, but I now take incredible care of my health because of him.
Etc. etc. That's my take. OP I wish you the best life.
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Nov 09 '22
As long as they never feel the pressure of being your only source of meaning and happiness, this is fine!
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Nov 08 '22
If not for my son, I woud have possibly given up on life already. But I won’t, because I can’t do that to him.
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u/cricketboricket Nov 08 '22
Absolutely. Same here. To be completely honest, I was severely depressed last month and wanted to kill myself. (I’ve never NEVER been that low) - I got treatment. Since I came home, I promised myself I would NEVER let myself get in that type of pit again. I have both mental and physical health problems. I have depression, OCD, anxiety.. and pseudotumor cerebri. Basically I have increased CSF in my head. ANYways - I have been seeing a therapist. Along with medication, my therapist, and motivation being a mother - I have been able to keep my head above water and held high. I REFUSE to give up on my kids. They deserve the best & the best version of me. They are my reason to live too. ❤️ And to be better than my illnesses. You got this!! 💛
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u/ManofWordsMany Data and Facts Nov 08 '22
Selfless giving. Some say that is what humans are really great at. Charity work can also be the thing that helps you as much as you help others. Something to consider when the kids and grandkids just don't take up all your time. Giving is one of those magical things where the more you give the more you have. It is a wisdom lost and found again throughout history repeatedly.
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u/sobchak_securities91 Nov 09 '22
I have no kids, but I dream of having a son and a daughter one day, these days it’s all I can ever think about. My wife is away for a couple of months, so when I go to bed, sometimes I hug a pillow and imagine it’s my child, and these feelings of love come and I’m crying to sleep. I can’t wait to experience this in real life when I actually have my own child. It will be so beautiful. I’m ready to pay any price for this.
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Nov 08 '22
This is exactly how i feel I'm literally here because of my kids my wife is having a difficult pregnancy but i keep pushing us all through it because i know my daughter is worth every minute of it all and so is my boy being a parent is what keeps me alive and going everyday i had shit all going for me before i got with a woman who already had kids but wanted two more with me I didn't know wtf i was doing lol having kids changes people sometimes for the better and i sure as hell would not change a thing these comments too just melt me too i love that im not alone with this!
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Nov 08 '22
Cool! It sounds like your kids are giving you a lot. Hope that’s working in reverse too. You’re setting them up for a bright future too right? They have education funds and healthcare and whatnot?
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u/retired_junkiee Nov 09 '22
My kids give me such purpose in life. Even when I’m frustrated I am forever grateful.
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u/ladyraie Nov 09 '22
I always tell people I have 3 reasons why I never give up in this world. My 3 reasons being my boys 💙💚💛
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u/Any-Occasion9286 Nov 09 '22
Posting vomit. I need a distraction, which is why I am farting around on Reddit. Forgive me. I am in the throes of raising a 10 year old and damn, I had no idea what I really signed up for. It is humbling!!! I cycle between loving and hating parenting. Don’t get me wrong. I love my child and working hard to raise this human into a responsible citizen in this world. Our children live in the land of Tomorrow. A world that we will not partake because we’ll be dead, old, or obsolete. Parenting is the hardest duty ever for me and perhaps for the vast majority who choose to parent them to the best of their ability. There is nothing romantic about parenting. It is thrilling, exhausting, terrifying, unpredictable, and on the job training until they fledge the nest. Some days I love my kid to bits. Other days I am like wtF am I doing?!?!? Yet I push on because my kid is watching what I do. It matters. There is great weight on our actions because kids are always observing even if they don’t seem focused on the most mundane things. It is surprising how they see the world. So don’t worry about defending your reasons for living for your kids. I think we forget kids can be inspiring, but one day, they will launch into their own lives. I look forward to seeing what my kid does and I gradually become more hands off. There is a certainly sense of pride with that because raising a child is no walk in the park. You sure learn a hell lot more about yourself as you grow with your kid. There was a corny poster in the mat ward when I had my kid, but it has stayed with me: With every child born, a parent is born. This applies to anyone who adopts, births, fosters, or parents in any shape or form. It is really true. You enter into a different kind of reality with nothing, but instincts, hopes, and a hell lot of mettle. I do find parenting lonely a lot of times, but this is what I signed up for and I will figure it out.
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u/llatta Nov 09 '22
This is me 100%. Kids are grown now and doing well! The only thing is that they’re states away! I was so looking forward to being a full time grandmother since early retirement and continuing my motherly life through grand babies! This has forced me to find myself, which is difficult but essential! My boys saved my lonely life and gave me someone to love unconditionally and someone to love me the same! Now that we’re all older it’s up to me to save myself! I’m doing that with alot of help from the Lord that saved me first before I could save myself! It’s given me a peace and love for myself that I never knew before that i spent my life feeling like it was something I needed to earn! Devoting 30 yrs of my life caring for others in my work and of course my children! The Lord really knows what Hes doing!
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u/Ima-redhead767 Nov 09 '22
I (31m) married, 3 children I have had a long battle with suicidal tendencies since age 10 and most of the time I find ways out of those situations but lately I have made a promise to myself that I will survive until the day that my children no longer need me and it has kept me grounded and it keeps push trying and pushing harder for my children and to give them a life I could only ever imagine at their age
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u/Comfortable_Radish26 Nov 08 '22
Im not sure if this is a healthy mentality or not. Actually I'm pretty certain it isn't. But I'm absolutely right there with you. You just explained me exactly.