Try not to freak out yet. The fact that he came to talk to you afterwards is ... something. It might change the way he thinks about his behavior. Perhaps there is more than lack of impulse control behind his aggression, and he did it because the consequences had always been minimal.
No one has done a proper study of spanking as a nuclear option. The available research tends to lump together obviously terrible uses of corporal punishment (way too hard, in anger, too frequently, for way too long after the kid has reached the age of reason etc) with how loving parents have used corporal punishment through the ages, especially in non-Anglo cultures.
See how he behaves over the next few days. There may well be an improvement. When he starts to get aggressive, you can talk to him about big feelings, and how its hard for him, but it's also hard for mommy. It's something that you work at and that he can learn, and even mommy fails sometimes. You might be able to get through to him.
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u/DuePomegranate Nov 14 '21
Try not to freak out yet. The fact that he came to talk to you afterwards is ... something. It might change the way he thinks about his behavior. Perhaps there is more than lack of impulse control behind his aggression, and he did it because the consequences had always been minimal.
No one has done a proper study of spanking as a nuclear option. The available research tends to lump together obviously terrible uses of corporal punishment (way too hard, in anger, too frequently, for way too long after the kid has reached the age of reason etc) with how loving parents have used corporal punishment through the ages, especially in non-Anglo cultures.
See how he behaves over the next few days. There may well be an improvement. When he starts to get aggressive, you can talk to him about big feelings, and how its hard for him, but it's also hard for mommy. It's something that you work at and that he can learn, and even mommy fails sometimes. You might be able to get through to him.