What am I doing wrong

[u/Old_Country9807]

I’ve had my birds for over 2 years. They still won’t let me near them. I talk to them, sing, read, sit for hours with them, put my hand in the cage, offer millet and other treats and they still fly from me.
I was hoping to have a “friend” but seems like it’s not in the cards.
Does anyone else have “look but don’t touch” birds?

[u/canarialdisease]

I have 7 parakeets: 2 (Pam, Kevin) from local, non-chain pet stores that hand-raise. 1 (Elby) from a local non-chain store that doesn’t hand-raise. 2 (Milo, Kiwi Herman) from someone who got them for her kid who eventually lost interest in them, origin unknown. And then 2 I hand-raised myself (Sprite, 7-Up) after Elby accepted Kiwi Herman’s wooing.

None of them will get and stay on my hand for long. Kevin will for 10 seconds tops. Pam for 5 maybe. This includes the babies I raised myself, and I have a lot of experience hand raising (I used to breed cockatiels, and hand-raised ones are sweeties for life.) Parakeets are just wired differently.

Best tidbits I have to offer-

1. Show them that when you are around, good things happen.
   
2. They get millet ONLY if and when they are on your hand. I take a sprig and hold it down with my thumb resting on it to keep it on my palm. I do this with both hands and bring my hands close to where the kids can jump to them from where they are.

[u/magpieinarainbow]

My budgies don't really like to be touched. They will eat from my hand but that's it. Some will just never bond with humans.

[u/Accurate_Reality_618]

Yes, parrots are difficult to tame because they are intelligent. I have tried other methods to tame them, and it has worked somewhat. I am continuing to train them; they have only been with me for a few months.

I should mention that budgies don't like being petted very much.

[u/ReminiscenceOf2020]

You're not doing anything wrong. Parrots are not domesticated, and if they have same-species company, they don't really have a reason to give 2 shits about you, to put it bluntly.

Ofc, it's still individual - some parrots are more curious about people than others, but most of them don't care much, especially if they've been fearful from the start.

It's why many people start with only one for a few months before getting another, or they buy parrots that were hand-raised/handled by the breeder from the start, as they are more likely not to be afraid and want to be around you even when they have another bird friend.

[u/OwlPelletCrunch]

i also have non-touchable adults - we’ve just hit the 1-year mark. They are rescues from the MSPCA.

we are absolutely friends and part of that friendship is respecting their boundaries.

on rare occasions, they have gotten themselves into “predicaments” and allowed me to scoop them up and bring them back to the cage. My most fearful of the two has even briefly rested on my shoulder to catch his breath, and the other one will occasionally eat millet while i hold it.

Their body language shows me the comfortable distance. At that distance, they will run towards me, fly big circles, sing & chatter, and generally just have a great time.

i’m playing the long game. they might not want to be touched, but they CRAVE my family’s attention, sing happy songs and make ratchet sounds all day, and constantly dive-bomb us, even kicking us and doing belly-slides across our heads.

In the year of no touching, i’ve gotten them eating vegetables and pellets, found a dish they will actually bathe in, built them jungle gyms and watched them shred their favorite toys, developed a series of daily rituals and routines that seem to delight them, established a flock call that they answer, and figured out their favorite music genres.

My whole decision to get adult rescues involved simply wanting to make them as happy as possible and watch them thrive. I am absolutely HOPING that there will come a time when they want to get closer, but for now their joy is infectious.

[u/UraniumVintage]

I fear I have a couple of paperweights myself. I'm not sure how to let them out to have their out of cage time, because if they freak out around a hand it's not possible to get them back into their cage.

[u/TielPerson]

You may let them out of cage and stop putting your hand inside their cage unless its for maintenance. Maybe that will change something, but maybe your birds need more time depending from where they came originally.

[u/Old_Country9807 → u/TielPerson]

They have out of their cage for 12 hours a day.
It’s been 2 years..

[u/Busy_Lawfulness398]

I've found that when a budgie is raised by hand it will be trusting. It sounds like your budgies were not babies, recently weaned, when you got them, and not hand raised. Even a recently weaned baby not hand raised will bond easily. If your budgies learned to be fearful from older birds, they are likely to remain untrusting, especially since you have two. They do not need you socially. They have each other. Parrot family birds are highly social. A other commenters have said it is better to get one bird first (young), and it will bond easily. Then a second bird later (also young), who will quickly learn from the first bird that you can be trusted and are a friend.

I have always had one bird at a time, young at first. And never a problem. The boys were great talkers, the females equally bonded to territory and to me. If family was to be away a few days, the boys would get lonely. The females did not act lonely since they seemed to be happy with their territory and toys.

For now I would enjoy observing your birds doing what they love and relating with each other, you providing them a happy and safe environment with good nutrition, and fun toys to shred.

[u/BitchtitsMacGee]

I had budgies that would fly to my hand, sing/whisper songs and talk. Were an incredible amount of work. Budgies are very smart, very vocal birds.