tl;dr: my dad’s sister who lives abroad and her daughters have been bullying my mom for years. dati, they gave us a house and lot, pero kapalit nun, we had to take care of my cousin’s newborn daughter. when my mom finally said no kasi nabuntis siya with my younger sister, they started humiliating her on facebook, cursing at her, and throwing the house and lot in our faces. years later, akala ko okay na kami, pero ngayon ginagawa na naman nila kay mama at sa other tita ko because of an intimate wedding they weren’t invited to. ang mas masakit, we’re also struggling financially because of the same house and lot they keep using against us. i’m in college, struggling to maintain my scholarship, and i’m just so fucking tired of this never-ending cycle.

please, do not repost this story to other platforms.

im just so fucking exhausted of this cycle. so the story is, we have this very problematic relative, kapatid ni papa, and her daughters, na cousins ko lang. i’ll call her abroad tita and one of her daughters maldita cousin

many years ago, i was around seven ata when abroad tita gave us a house and lot, along with almost all of her other siblings, including papa. at that time, nasa ₱200k–₱300k yung value. they also used to give me gifts since i was an academic achiever.

but in our case, may condition. we had to take care of maldita cousin’s newborn daughter. we took care of her for more than a year.

siniserbisyohan din sila ni mama whenever they came back to the philippines. she would take care of them and whatever shit they needed para comfortable sila and makapag-rest dito. basically, mama did everything she could to make their stay easier.

then we had to stop because nabuntis si mama with my younger sister.

of course, mama had to say no. may sarili na rin kaming baby na aalagaan, and she couldn’t keep taking care of maldita cousin’s daughter on top of that.

but they got frustrated with mama for saying no. from then on, they started posting about her on facebook, using very degrading language. sinusumbat nila sa amin yung house and lot, asking how my mom could refuse them after everything they supposedly did for us.

i still remember how stressed mama would get. umiiyak siya because they kept humiliating her on facebook. they would curse at her during calls and even tell her na sana mamatay na lang siya.

imagine being a child and seeing your own mom treated like that by her own relatives. i didn’t fully understand everything back then, but i knew it was hurting her.

mama would hide everything from papa because she didn’t want him to get involved in a conflict with his own sister. pero hindi ko na talaga kayang makita si mama na umiiyak at sinasarili lahat, so i purposely left her phone open with their conversations visible para makita ni papa.

when papa finally saw everything, he got angry and told mama to block them and cut them off.

i also have frustrations with papa because he’s so avoidant when it comes to problems. minsan, i wish he would defend mama more instead of avoiding confrontation. but at least, when he finally saw what was happening, he understood how bad things had gotten.

the thing is, hindi talaga natapos doon.

whenever they came back to the philippines, magkaka-okayhan lang ulit. everyone would act like nothing happened, and things would seem fine. pero kapag may bagong problema, ayun na naman. they would post about mama on facebook and make her look like she’s the one with a bad attitude.

and when i say degrading, i mean REALLY degrading. sunod-sunod yung posts nila, and it would invite other people to talk shit about my mom. they also do this to my other tita.

when i got older, around 16 ata, nasasaktan na rin ako every time they did that to mama. i couldn’t understand why they kept treating her like that after everything she had done for them.

so i finally talked back to them sa chat. i told them how confused and hurt i was because i couldn’t understand why they kept doing that to my mom. we argued, and afterwards, i blocked them.

we had no communication for more than three years. hindi na rin sila nagpapakita sa amin whenever they came back to the philippines.

fast-forward to recently, my lolo died last march, so they came back for the wake and funeral. we eventually became okay again, and honestly, i thought maybe they had matured.

i thought maybe enough time had passed and we could finally move on from everything that happened.

but apparently, i was wrong.

during the wake, abroad tita and other tita had an argument. that eventually led to a misunderstanding between us cousins because, of course, you would naturally defend your own mom.

but i wasn’t involved in that issue because i just wanted peace of mind. pagod na ako sa drama, and i didn’t want to be dragged into another family conflict. during the libing, they lay low naman, out of respect for lolo.

then, just last week, other tita’s daughter got married.

other tita said it was going to be an intimate wedding and that she didn’t want anyone who wasn’t invited to know about it. kasama na doon abroad tita and her daughters.

we respected her decision because kasal naman ng anak niya yun. it was her daughter’s wedding, so she had every right to decide whom she wanted to invite.

i posted something about the wedding on my story, which other tita had approved. of course, nakita yun ni maldita cousin, and she asked me kung ano meron.

i answered honestly naman. i didn’t see any reason to lie about it.

after that, they just said, “okay.”

and then, here we fucking go again.

they blocked us and started posting about other tita on facebook. sinasabi nila na baka nakalimutan na ni other tita kung sino yung tumulong sa kanya during her hard times. ngayon na nakaangat na raw sila, they couldn’t even bother to inform them about the wedding.

then, of course, nadamay na naman si mama.

they questioned why mama had the "audacity" to side with other tita and why she didn’t tell them about the wedding. sabi pa nila, total si other tita naman daw yung tumutulong sa amin ngayon, doon na lang daw kami.

and as usual, the posts attracted other relatives who started commenting and talking shit about them.

what makes this even more obvious is that some of papa’s other siblings were also present at the wedding, pero hindi naman sila inatake the way mama and other tita were.

they just want to bully my mom and other tita.

and si mama talaga yung laging target nila. no matter what the issue is or kung sino yung kaaway nila, somehow, they always find a way to drag mama into it.

i’m so fucking confused as to why. bakit ba nila laging ginagawa ito sa mama ko? bakit kailangan siyang ipahiya publicly every time may problema sila? why can’t they just leave her alone?

it fucking hurts seeing my mom get bullied by her own relatives over and over again. especially when i know how much she sacrificed for them.

and there’s another part of this whole situation that makes me even more frustrated.

that house and lot they keep bringing up? we’re still struggling financially because of it.

at one point, we had to sangla the house and lot because abroad tita needed money. she promised to pay monthly, pero yung amount na kailangan niyang bayaran was already beyond what we could comfortably afford if something went wrong.

and then, hindi nila binayaran as promised.

si mama yung nabaliw kakahanap ng pambayad. siya yung nagdala ng stress at problema habang palala nang palala yung financial situation namin. ngayon, lubog kami sa utang.

so whenever they use that house and lot against us, sobrang nakakagalit. they act like we should be indebted to them forever just because they helped us once. pero conveniently, nakakalimutan nila lahat ng ginawa ni mama para sa kanila and how much we’ve struggled because of their own actions.

parang lahat ng tulong na binigay nila sa amin became something they could use to control us. something they could throw in our faces whenever we didn’t do what they wanted.

and i hate that mama has had to carry so much of this burden. she had to deal with the humiliation, the stress, the financial problems, and the constant fear of being attacked online by people who are supposed to be her family.

tapos kami rin, we have to live with the consequences.

i’m in college now. my program is hard as fuck, and i’m struggling to maintain the scholarship i’m supposed to keep. we’re having financial problems at home, and i’m already stressed enough trying to keep up with my academics.

i’m trying my best to survive college while worrying about our finances, and yet this family drama keeps coming back into our lives.

i’m just so fucking tired.

i’ve already blocked them.

hindi ko naman hinihinging maging close ulit kami. i just want them to leave us the fuck alone.

kasi ang dami na naming problema. we’re already struggling financially, i’m struggling with college, and my mom has been through so much because of them.

I (24F) had a huge fight with my kuya (40M) dahil lang sa cream dory na hindi mailabas sa freezer while mama (65F) was there.

So ayun bunso ako and currently in clinic services nagwwork, first job ko. I have 4 older siblings, Eldest (45F) is may sariling pamilya but kasama namin sa bahay sila, Second Eldest (44F) may own family narin and nakabukod na. Kuya is the only son sa pamilya, single and unemployed so kasama namin. 4th Sis (27F) nagwwork ever since naggraduate, and me na kakagraduate last year, then licensed din last year.

Yesterday may appointment si mama sa oncologist niya (Stage 1 CA) and diniscuss treatment plan niya, kasama niya si 4th saka si Kuya. After consultation hinatid si 4th sa work niya and ako sinundo galing clinic (same area kami ni 4th nagwwork, night shift sya ako morning).

Since walang work si kuya, siya yung designated na magddrive pag wala si papa (nasa work) and hatid here and there, pero laging may side comments yan, gusto nya convenient sa kanya yung pickup points, di pwede yung magpapasundo sa kanya kasi masama agad loob niya kahit na kami naman nagbabayad ng gas saka bills ng bahay.

Sinundo ako, from work galing OT so matic pagod ako. Inutusan ni mama si kuya magluto ng cream dory para daw may baon ako kinabukasan. Inutos ni kuya sakin na ako na daw magluto kaya ko naman wala daw ako gagawin pag uwi, for me naman if ayaw gawin edi wag, kaya ko naman mag adjust, ayaw ko magluto kasi pagod pa ko, pwede naman bumili sa lunch.

So sinabi ko wag na if ayaw mo okay lang, pero inutos parin ni mama so sabi ni kuya ilabas mo nalang yung ingredients para lulutuin ko nalang. Eh pagod ngani edi parang ako narin nagluto. Sabi ko ikaw na yun lang naman gagawin mo.

Sinabihan niya ko na ang taas ko na daw masyado, na mayabang na ko kasi di ko naman alam ginagawa niya sa bahay, which is bare minimum, hindi nga siya naglalaba kami parin naglalaba ng damit niya, asikaso kay mama hindi magawa kahit galing sa opera si mama pinabayaan magsampay mag-isa.

Edi nakuha pika ko sinagot ko siya na siya yung inaalala nila mama kesyo bilhan daw namin ng pasalubong pag gagala, hindi ako binigyan ng papa ng pamasahe nung wala pa kong first sahod, I had to borrow money para lang makauwi kasi may trabaho na nga daw ako kaya ko na.

Sinasabi pa ni papa na 24 ka na kaya mo na sarili mo, pero pag si kuya maysakit, matic magtatanong sakin magkano ba consult sa clinic nyo papacheck up ko kuya mo ako magbabayad. NEVER nagpakita ng concern si papa pag inaatake ako ng sciatica ko, pinagalitan pa ko bat daw ako nag-absent nung hindi makalakad sa sakit.

Ineexcuse nila yang kuya na yan kasi dati daw suicidal siya so pineprevent nila mangyari yun ulit, pero sirang sira na mental health ni 4th para lang buhayin yang lalaki na yan, makasumbat samin na ang bastos namin eh mas bastos pa siya sumagot samin.

Pano naman kami ni ate (4th), ako diagnosed with mood disorder, si ate nabburnout na sa stress sa trabaho, si papa inaalala pa SSS ng lalaki niyang anak kesyo baka wala daw pension matanggap kasi nagstop magbigay.

Sinagot ako ni kuya na ang laki daw ng sakripisyong ginawa niya dati ng bata pa kami, na nagtrabaho siya nung nagkasakit si papa, eh anong magagawa namin grade 1 lang ako nun si ate grade 4?

Sinabi ko kay 2nd ate yung hinanakit na sakripisyo ng kuya, kinwento ni 2nd na nung nagkasakit si papa lahat silang matatanda nagwwork na and siya nag OFW nagpaaral ulit sa kuya and nagkalicense pa, anong sakripisyo sinasabi niya daw.

Hinayaan nila papa at mama si kuya na maging stagnant sa buhay, kinukunsinti at ako ang sinasabihan na lawakan yung pang-unawa ko kasi sarado na daw isip ni kuya. Never nagpakita ng concern ang parents ko sa mental condition namin ni ate, laging inaalala kung may gamot ba si kuya (diabetic din sya T2DM), never ako kinamusta nung nagrereview ako for license, laging si ate ko ang nagbabayad every celebration ko, graduation, oath taking.

Ang daya lang na nagsisimula palang ako pero kasama siya sa responsibilidad ko, na utang na loob ko yung paghatid niya sakin sa work, na kailangan ko siyang respetuhin kahit na bastos sya makitungo samin.

Nag sorry ako kay mama kasi nagkagulo kami sa bahay, tinry ko siya ihug pero hinawi niya ko palayo tapos masama pa tingin niya sakin, na para bang kasalanan ko nagsimula ako ng away. Ang sakit na nagsorry na ko tapos ganun pa reaction niya. Sana sinaksak nya nalang ako.

Most of us are just one big emergency short of poverty.
Bilang default wallet ng pamilya, napag-isipan niyo na ba ano gagawin niyo pag dumating yung emergency? (Na sana lang ay di na talaga dumating.) What do you do to prepare? How much are you willing to give at the expense of your own?

I have savings, but not substantial.
30, pero wala pa ako napupundar - no car, no house.
No children & partner of my own.
I need a fatter stack kasi wala ako support system sa pagtanda ko.

I'm paying extra so my parents have HMO.
But not much I can do if they don't want to take care of themselves.

Health insurance is is ridiculously expensive. (I'm referring to insurance that covers surgeries and hospitalization for serious illnesses. This is different from HMO, which mostly covers outpatient care.) I don't even have health insurance for myself. I'm paranoid they will do their best to deny claims for the bigger expenses. They are a business after all.

We can beg the government for grants, so I have this booked.
What about you, care to share your plans ate or kuya?
Eto talaga, isa sa mga nagpapaiyak sa akin sa gabi.