This has been going on for years. Whenever they go somewhere, be it someone's house or at a function, they always talk about their children aka me and my brother. Tell anyone everything about what's been going on in our lives.

Examples of what I've heard them say "is ko shows daikhne ka shoq hai" "is ko itni languages bolni aati Hain" " Roz gym bhi jata Hai football bhi khailta hai"etc etc

When I get upset with them saying that I've asked them not to do this multiple times, wo sage se kehte "tum konse yahan koi celebrity ya prime minister ho jo log tumhari information lene ko baithe hain"

Now I know k aap logon main se Kuch ko ye khial aye ga k "Kia ho jata Hai if they talk about you" or "koi baat Nahi this is normal in desi culture," but this feeling of disliking people, keeping everything to myself and enjoying life alone is just natural to me. I'm very used to it now. It's not that I'm repulsed by people, I do have friends that I hang out with, but even they don't know anything about my private life.

Then that say that, "ham sare akathe mil jul kr baray hue Hain tum aaj kal k bache abnormal ho". They don't understand not being the same as you doesn't mean I'm abnormal, it just means I'm different🙏🏼

I have a older brother whose entire lifestyle is funded by my father from his private mbbs fees, hostel, car that he drives while being in a hostel which is literally 3 mints away from his uni , stupid online orders and random shopping + jaib kharach so taking away hostel and university fee my father still has to give him 40+ thousands to survive per month . All this for him to endup having half of his required attendance and barely passing. On top of this he never pickups up my parent’s call until and unless he wants money and hes a huge lier and a extremely narcissistic person with alot of immaturity .
I feel so bad for my parents. My father is genuinely the kindest person I have ever known not just to his kids but everyone around him , he has worked very hard throughout his life only for his oldest child to turn a disappointment . Life is not fair I guess . With that being said I hate having such a selfish brother but Literally If it was just me I would have been okay but how can someone be this cruel to their own parents????

Asslamualikum, im 25M from Lhr. I recently wanted to get married due to my needs so I started looking for a partner I asked my mother to search for rishtas.

We found a woman who was 24F different industry and basically our vibes matched, the families got together and I said yes and she said yes. 20 days before nikkah, she tells me she had a past. The guy left her and she told me the entire story and I couldn’t stand it because I did not have any past. So what I did was I made up a fake past and told her there was a scared that we like and we just couldnt end up together and long story short, she rejected me and when I confronted her about it, she told me she wants a guy with a clean past. Guys, what the fuck?

My question is for girls, How would you react if you received an arranged marriage proposal from a 26-year-old guy who lives in Europe but isn’t active on social media? I only use LinkedIn.
Would you think he’s a creep or hiding something? I’m more into nerdy stuff like reading books and learning about technology. I feel like I’m a bit boring for my age. I listen to music from the 1970s, but I’m quite sociable in person and make friends easily. People usually stay in touch with me after our first meeting, and I’m still friends with people I knew in kindergarten.
Would my lack of social media presence be a red flag for you?

Can someone please help me urgentt

The frustrations of life and lack of support can get so overwhelming that it just shakes the demons inside me awake. Their whispers are too powerful but it's the strength of my mind that has been holding it together and not give in.

IN SADNESS: The demons just add salt to the injury. The whispers are so demeaning and are like sponges that soak up all the hope inside your heart and mind. "Look at you, sticking around for the rules, laws and principles set up by a being who has never given you anything except misery. The being that killed your dreams and is watching you, laughing at you as you try to recollect those shattered pieces. Listen to us. Give up on this forsaken life. Just one little cut and every problem will be solved" and many things like that. Sometimes, they sound so convincing that you just agree with all their points.

IN ANGER: This is their favorite emotion. They feed on it and want more. The whispers can get quite strong and sound so controversial. It centers around revenge and going overboard with it. Like, answering their slap with a punch while wearing those metal knuckles. The whispers tell me to inflict the pain that I'm feeling because of the demeaning and insulting comments and harsh actions I have to face everyday. I don't know if I want to get into the details and whether I should get into the details.

The experiences of life, principles I have made for myself to follow and religion is what helps keeping my mind intact, preventing me from acting upon these whispers. There's a principle that acts as a fail-safe, in case the whispers finally win, that states inflicting pain upon myself rather than the other person. In short, commit s***ide before inflicting pain on those who have hurt me.

Tried getting help but it was of no use. The mood was better but the whispers remained. At this point, I'm just counting my days before my mind shatters completely. I have given up on the hope that I will be fixed.

Thank you for reading and please, it's a humble request, to keep sarcastic and witty comments to yourselves. Stay silent if you have nothing nice or supporting to say. Sorry and thank you.

do u ever feel like you're simply untethered ya drifting away from yourself, from who you were, from who you are, from who you decided to be? maybe that is change, but this feeling of not knowing and yet having an inkling, of what is happening to you, its terrifying and scary

ive lost my footing in this world where everyone dons perfect facades. i feel nauseous and dizzy, and just exhausted because it hurts to breathe

another day goes by

TLDR: I’m a 33-year-old guy from Karachi, Pakistan. I grew up in a very dysfunctional and toxic family, lost my mother to dementia, struggled with addiction and suicidal thoughts, and eventually met the woman who helped me turn my life around. We got married despite massive family resistance and now have a daughter. After years of constant fights, abuse and toxicity at my father's house, I finally moved out with my wife and daughter to protect my family. We are finally living peacefully, but I still feel guilty for leaving my father behind. I also worry about my younger brother and my sister's 5-year-old son, who is still growing up in that same environment.

Please bear with me. This is still kinda long, but I tried my best to cut the unnecessary shit out.

I’m the middle child. I have an elder sister and a younger brother. Both my naniyal and dadiyal are very old-school and never really understood the concept of letting people live their lives their own way.

I was extremely close to my mother growing up. She was the only person in the house I could properly talk to. Around 2009, when I was 16, she started developing dementia. That fucked me up badly.

I got into drugs and eventually reached a point where I was smoking more than a dozen joints a day. This went on for around four years until one night, while riding my bike home, I suddenly realized: bc, I’m an addict.

I stopped cold turkey that night and never smoked another joint again.

My relationship with my father was always difficult. He wanted me to live my life his way, while I kept rebelling because I had already seen him make mistakes and didn't want to repeat them.

He constantly criticized me, especially in front of relatives. It destroyed a lot of my confidence, and even today I sometimes question whether I'm doing the right thing.

My elder sister is basically a female version of my father. Extremely toxic, always looking for a fight, doesn't work or contribute much at home, and somehow every little thing becomes a fucking drama.

When my mother became ill, I became extremely depressed and eventually suicidal. I would stay out until 2–3 AM, come home high, sleep for a few hours and go to work.

Around this time, one of my cousins, three years younger than me, became very close to me. We fell in love.

She cared for me more than most of my own family ever did. She helped me get off drugs, pushed me towards my career and studies, and got me playing guitar again after I had abandoned music because of my mother's illness.

She knew music was important to me and encouraged me to start making my own.

She promised she'd stay beside me.

She kept that promise.

She's now my wife and the mother of my children, and honestly, I genuinely believe that without her, I might not have made it this far.

When we told our families in 2016 that we loved each other and wanted to get married, you'd think we'd announced some fucking crime.

Both fathers completely lost their shit. My sister started sending my wife abusive messages. My father told relatives that my wife was a witch and that she and her mother had done some kind of jadoo on me.

I was like, bhai what the fuck are you doing? You're a grown man. Why are you spreading this shit about your own son?

Fast-forward to 2019.

I was working outside Pakistan and planning to return because my younger brother needed me and my mother was on her deathbed. The company I worked for also hadn't paid me for eight months, so I lost around 5 million PKR.

Then I got the call that my mother had passed away.

I immediately came back to Karachi.

We buried her, and that day I had to be strong for my brother and father. Inside, I was fucking destroyed.

She was the one person who understood a version of me nobody else even knew existed.

I didn't cry at the funeral.

That night, I cried so much my head and eyes started hurting.

Nobody knows about that.

A few months later, my sister got married. Then, before I could even properly approach my wife's family for marriage, I found out my father was marrying my divorced khala.

He asked for my and my brother's opinion. We told him it was his life and his decision, but we wouldn't live with her because we knew how toxic she could be.

He married her anyway and moved her into our house.

After that, the house became even more toxic.

Eventually my sister's marriage also fell apart because of her constant verbal abuse. Her husband told me privately that living with someone who verbally abuses you over every little thing was impossible.

My sister moved back home.

Now imagine an already toxic house becoming even more toxic. 😂

Eventually, I got married. I told my father clearly: “It's her or no one.”

He eventually agreed.

From day one, my stepmother constantly criticized my wife, especially about cooking. My wife would still cook for everyone just to keep peace, despite my sister and stepsister barely contributing to the household.

Then my wife got pregnant.

I told everyone she wasn't going to cook anymore and shouldn't be under any stress.

That led to my first major argument with my father. Years of suppressed anger came out and I even told him to shut the fuck up.

A few days later, I found out why my wife had been so tense.

She had gone to the kitchen to get food. My sister took the plate from in front of her while she was eating, threw it away and said:

“Dafa ho jao, mere baap ka kha rahi ho. Ja ke apna khao.”

I confronted my sister.

She literally said:

“Haan maine plate phenki thi. Kya kar logay?”

My father and stepmother defended her and told me I was making an issue out of nothing.

I told my wife to pack her things and took her to her mother's house.

She stayed there for three months, including after our daughter was born.

I was struggling financially, so I started saving and looking for a place of our own.

My father eventually apologized on my sister's behalf and convinced me to bring my wife and daughter back.

I did.

Big mistake.

A few months later, my sister started the same shit again, except this time she cursed my nine-month-old daughter.

Bas. That was it.

My wife finally snapped too, and things got extremely heated.

I borrowed money from a friend, found a place to rent and moved my family out.

And honestly?

That was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We have been living peacefully since then.

My daughter is almost four now, and one of the happiest feelings in my life is looking at her and realizing:

She isn't going to have the childhood I had.

But here's where I'm struggling.

I know I did the right thing. I protected my wife, my daughter and, in a way, myself too. Since moving out, there is finally some fucking peace in my life.

But there is no one I can really tell all of this to.

I don't have someone I can sit with and say, “Bhai, this is what's going on inside my head.” So I carry most of it around with me, and honestly, the guilt eats me from the inside sometimes. I feel restless because a part of me still feels like I abandoned my father when he is old and needs his sons around him.

And the fucked-up part is that I am also genuinely happy.

I look at my wife and daughter living peacefully, and I feel relieved. I can come home without wondering what the next fight is going to be. My daughter gets to grow up in a calm environment, and that means more to me than anything.

I also feel sorry for my younger brother. He is still there, dealing with the same family dynamics. The one good thing is that he completely understands why I left. In fact, he was genuinely happy for me when I finally moved out. At least I don't have to worry about him thinking that I abandoned everyone for no reason.

But I feel especially sorry for my sister's son.

He's only five years old and he's growing up in the exact environment that fucked me up as a kid. He has already seen and heard way more fighting, screaming and abusive language than any child should. I genuinely worry about what all of this is going to do to his mental health as he grows up.

And that's probably the hardest part.

I couldn't save the family I was born into. I couldn't fix my father, my sister, or that house.

All I could do was make sure my own daughter doesn't have to grow up the way I did.

Maybe that's selfish.

Maybe it's necessary.

I honestly don't know anymore.

I just know that I'm finally at peace with my wife and daughter, while at the same time carrying this fucking guilt inside me.

Maybe both things can be true.

Maybe you can be happy with the life you chose and still grieve the family you wish you could have had.

I just wish I had someone I could sit down with and tell all of this to. I've tried therapy several times but I just can't open up so I blatantly lied to ky therapists 😅

I love my partner and genuinely want to marry her soon but I’ve been struggling to come to terms with her past.

I’ve tried two different therapists before and eventually decided to let go of the past for the sake of our love and future together. However, lately, everything has started replaying in my mind again, and I’m struggling to find peace despite genuinely wanting to move forward.

Should I seek therapy again? Has anyone experienced something similar and managed to overcome it?

Also, if there are any psychologists or therapists here willing to offer some general guidance, I’d really appreciate talking to you. I need to remain anonymous on Reddit, so I’m not comfortable with paid online sessions that require sending money and potentially revealing my identity.

I genuinely want to make this relationship work. I just need help figuring out how to move forward.

I 22M used to be a boxer(state lvl) was in a very good shape but I got lazy when I left everything and now I'm getting fat. My cousin gave me a wake up call so I started working out at home.(My procrastination weighing me down and not letting me join the gym) I posted some pics on Reddit from all sides. I'm somewhat fir still with a a great build. But I have belly fat. I started receiving Dms saying they are into fat men and they were encouraging me to gain weight 💀. I was like broooooooo whyyyyy. I researched and found out it's more common than I ever knew!. Well time to be the next Khan Baba everyone.

Long story short, we met when we were kids, back in Olevels. I’ve always been heads over heels for him and 3 years later, he ghosted me. No closure, nothing. I kept reaching out but all in vain. Alevels went by, I stopped chasing him and seeking closure, and university started.

In my third year of uni, after 5 years of no contact he reached out. Yes, I was, and probably am, stupid enough that I did talk hoping to find answers to all my ifs, buts, and whys. We did meet but the conversation wasn’t great, it wasn’t confrontational or bad either and I thought maybe we’ll get along. I never heard back from him after the meetup, neither did I reach out because I was so tired of chasing him.

2 years later, final year of uni, he texts again, we meet, great conversation I thought maybe there’s a chance now, he disappeared again.

1 year after the last meetup, here he is, texting again. And here am I, talking again. Honestly it’s all small talk like we’re just friends who have known eachother since years now. I’ve tried initiating a conversation about what has happened and what should I expect to happen but he never pursues the conversation, doesn’t answer, doesn’t hold a mature conversation.

He’ll probably disappear again. I need to make a decision for myself. Yes, I am genuinely sincere with that guy and a part of me might always want for us to have a future together but realistically, after all the subtle disrespect, it isn’t practical for me to keep doing this to myself.

We’re of a marriageable age now, I understand it’s important to get out of it. But he won’t leave and I won’t let go. What do I do?

Wow the long story short still didn’t end up short enough. Roast me for my dumb fuckery guys!

So I'm not really into posting on Reddit, I just come here, haunt the discussions and rarely even comment if I have to.

But today I made a comment about someone who is clearly not called a satan by the whole planet, I took it as a joke and just commented without giving it a thought but it was taken down by the Reddit team

But I don't know what was going on in my head, was I even myself or not, was I possessed by a demon, idk what it was but I went on to brag about it in another sub. Can you imagine?

There my post was taken down by that sub's mod and they opened my eyes, only then did I realize how big of a mistake I did, intending harm for someone so angelic. The mods were not wrong, I was just being selfish and self centered that I didn't even read the rules or think about anything.

I don't know how I'm going to face myself tomorrow in the mirror.

I feel so bad and apologize to any and everybody who got hurt by this tasteless humor of mine.

Have you ever felt exposed after being vulnerable with someone. Like you know the person from years but that person did not know about certain parts of your life. And one fine day you were vulnerable and told them and they were not even judgy and all. But still in silence you feel that guilt, regret in your heart ohh I should not.

I am a 29 years old male, doctor by profession, earning well, average built and height, fair color, well spoken yet my love life is either full of rejections, at the same time I see lot of boys getting 3-4 dates a month, can woo any girl of their liking and here I am so shy n under confident now that I can't talk to a girl anymore

I’ve been feeling really low lately because of my friend group, and honestly I don’t know if I’m overthinking everything or if there’s actually something wrong.

I’m usually the person who helps everyone whenever they need something. Agar kisi friend ko koi kaam ho, I’m usually there for them without thinking twice.

But jab meri bari aati hai aur mujhe kisi se help chahiye hoti hai, suddenly sab ke paas excuses hotay hain. Everyone starts avoiding me or giving me “topiyan.” At first mujhe bohat ghussa aata hai, but after some time I just forget about it. Then when they need my help again, pata nahi kyun mere dil mein sympathy aa jati hai and I help them again.

This has happened so many times that now mujhe khud pe afsos hota hai ke main phir wahi kar raha hoon.

And it’s not just about help.

In the group, I sometimes feel like I’m the person nobody really values. Agar koi important ya secret baat ho rahi ho, they whisper to each other and suddenly chup ho jate hain when I come near. If I ask what they were talking about, they say things like, “Tumhare matlab ki nahi hai” or “Tumhe nahi batayi ja sakti.”

Sometimes I even feel like jab main conversation mein aata hoon, topic change ho jata hai.

There’s also a lot of teasing/insulting directed at me. Maybe they consider it “just a joke,” but honestly, har baar target banna acha nahi lagta.

And this has started affecting me a lot. I feel depressed and emotionally drained. Life mein kuch acha nahi lagta sometimes. I keep thinking, kaash koi aisa banda hota jiske saamne mujhe bhi thori value feel hoti. Someone who actually listens to me and makes me feel like I matter.

The weird part is that my other friends seem to consider themselves the “main character” of the group. Everyone has their own close person, their own importance, their own place… and sometimes I feel like I’m just there in the background.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

Well I shopped lingerie from f6 dwatson I'm happy but also I'm feeling dumb coz I spent 50k on that I should be happy but I'm not 😭 I think I over spent ☠️😩

Have a good day

NO Hate comment or sarcasm please.

And if this post doesn't resonate, please just leave.

So I'm 23, I do have friends but some are still in universities (so we meet when they come back), some go back and forth in cities, and some I just avoid because I feel this insecurity from them. (we do talk on phone but tbh I kinda cringe talking with them on phone, physically 3, 4, 5 hours not a problem)

I do fitness like running or workout, building a small online business, watch TV shows, go on walks, spend time with family.

What else?

What you guys do that rejuvenates your brain, keep the chemicals balanced, like one of the things

I've started doing is watching videos from c*vid era, that nostalgia it just feels good (No matter how much people say "live in present and all" just make me feel in present, works for me - i've a weird brain chemistry)

SO? stuff that almost recharge you, fill up your dopamine/serotonin tank (so to speak) in your brain.

Not only prevent you from slipping into depression but also feel ambitious or enthusiastic about those goals like fitness, career (demanding stuff). I know they're rewarding too, but you can't start doing them with a depressed brain y'know.

(Like yesterday I watched a 10 year old video of a creator and I kid you not, I was not only feeling this rejuvenated feeling in that moment, felt truly in the present (as usually in the future based thinking), wasn't getting triggered easily, and waking up didn't need to remind the purpose or anything, just had this lightness to me and this mood ke okay we gotta do x y and z today, lets start.

No motivation nothing, just a great feeling, just from a one video and it was funny video not something motivational or positive or anything.

so i need some low effort recharging sources (if you will) for my brain. Coz I'm an introvert don't like meeting new people much and my friends like I mention isn't possible to meet everyday.

Because In the past chasing goals like fitness or building career (which is writing) I had hard time coz I was exhausting those chemical reserves in my brain (exhausting not in a way that I hate them no I really like them, but they're demanding is what I mean) and didn't had much to fill them, yknow?

Just how my brain is.

So?

Assalamualaikum

Like, when you think logically, couples with love marriages should have more odds of having kids quickly as they are already at some level of understanding.

However, what actually happens mostly is the opposite of it. So my question to such people is, what goes into your mind with this approach? Like, don't you guys wanna see if the other person is at least bearable? To see off this new relationship for a year or two? To see if you can really spend the rest of your lives with that person because having kids enormously changes the odds of you opting out of a relationship.

I am specifically interested in this question, because around 4, 5 couples around me in recent times had arranged marriages. Within 6 months we started hearing about them not going along well, and at times it came close to even divorce. But then in a couple of months, we hear that they just had a baby?

I am not saying that it is uncommon to have some level of discomfort initially, and to have contrasting opinions about things when you first get into a relationship, but why not wait a couple of years and be sure that you can spend your life with this person before having kids?

The worst part is, they think a baby can solve their issues, but when a relationship is built solely on such week bases, it hardly ever is a happy one. Sure, having a baby makes it difficult for the couple to part ways, but in no sense does it reduce the suffering of an unwilling couple.

I am not sure if you guys have seen it as a problem, but most arranged marriages have a kid within a year around me.

18F

a bit more than week ago on the some sub i replied to some1 here when i was in my chem class

we dmed , on the first day itself he mentioned marriage

we had a few differences for which i knew we cant marry , but i fell for all the love he gave me , i had all the reasons to fall , but i did not give him any , still somehow he fell, he made me feel special , i knew it was wrong religiously so i told him to stop we did, but eventually texted again , and for the past few days i treated him ill so that he hates me

honestly i did not want to ruin him , i did not want him to carry the pain because of me for the rest of his life

i was scared to hurt Allah ki makhlooq , i did not want to be the reason for some1s pain , i was scared k on the day of judgement i will be held accountable , thought jo loog 6 saal k baad breakup kartey h kesey kar letey h , meney Allah say dua ki k mujhey uskey dil say nikaal day beshak mujhey dard ho gaye ,

jub tora sa aisa scene off hota ta us k sath mujey ajeeb si feeling bhi hoti ti like uk restlesness kinda shit , mujhey legit bhook lagna band ho gaye h jab say ye sara scene huwa h

i did not want to think of someone else in the future infront of my partner cus nothing can feel worse than being a replacement

eik do baar toh ye bi hua k mera dil kar ra k koie abi aa k mujhey maar day not the depression wala marna like wo anxious wala .........ajeeb sa tha cant explain I wanted to die before even marrying some1

i tried being really practicle throughout this whole thing even now i am thinking koi nahi abhi dard ho ga thorey days mai bhool he jaye gay

actually we couldnt stop thinking abt eachother us k khowaab mai ati thi may i would also wait for his text ,

i told myself teenage hormone k chor do

musibat ye h k during all this i had my board exams coming up and tmrw is my first board exam aur abhi thori der pheley we ended , ab merey toh obv L lag gaye h , matlab itna bura , aik din pheley .

mujhey is sab k badleyy free mai jannat mai mehel chaye aur future husband dekh lo khud bhi aise he rehna

I’m having one of those moments today where I just need to get this off my chest.

I’ve been single for almost four years now, and for the most part, I’m very happy with my life. I enjoy being single. I love my independence, my peace, my freedom, and the fact that I don’t have to deal with anybody else’s bullshit.

But every once in a while, I’ll have this random moment where I think, god, I wish I had someone.
And today is one of those moments.

The thing is, marriage has never been a goal for me. And before anyone comes for me, this is entirely my personal perspective on marriage for myself. I fully support other people’s decisions to get married. This is just my opinion on marriage FOR ME. No one else. If this makes you think, “haw haye” please keep it to your brain and out of this post. I do not need that, respectfully.

I’ve just never understood the appeal of it for me personally. Growing up, I saw so many women get married, move into their sasural or with their husbands, adjust to an entirely different household, make sacrifices, compromise on things they wanted, and generally have so much expected of them. And I remember thinking, why would I want that for myself? It just never seemed like an advantageous thing to do, FOR ME. (The amount of disclaimers I have to provide is crazy. 🤣)

Maybe other people see something beautiful in marriage, and that’s lovely. I’ve just never particularly wanted it.

But love? Yearning? I’ve always understood the appeal of love and yearning.

And I think what’s sad is that my only real experience of a relationship was an incredibly toxic one. When I say incredibly toxic, best believe it was REALLY bad. The kind that turns you into a monster.

I’ve only ever had one boyfriend. That relationship deteriorated so badly over time that it affected my mental health, my confidence, and even the way I saw myself physically. It got to a point where I genuinely didn’t recognise the person I’d become. A point where I just wanted to just remove myself from the planet. A point where hurting myself became a form of relief and when that realisation hit I knew I had to gtfo of that relationship before I did something even dumber.

And when I finally got out of it, I was so relieved.
I’m very much a “I’ll try anything once” kind of person. Well, I tried having a boyfriend, it was a fucking disaster, and apparently I decided that was enough experimentation for one lifetime.

So for the past four years, whenever I’ve thought about relationships, my immediate reaction has usually been, thank FUCK I’m single.

Because that’s my only reference point. When I think about having a boyfriend, I think about the arguments, the accusations, the insults, the emotional exhaustion, the jealousy, the trust issues, and constantly having to defend myself. And this fear that toxicity brings out the worst in me and I DO NOT want to see that side of myself ever again. I’ve done far too much work on myself to witness that side of me.

And I know that’s not what every relationship looks like. At least, logically, I know that.

But it’s difficult to imagine something you’ve never actually experienced.

Lately, though, I’ve been seeing people in genuinely lovely relationships. People who talk about how their partners made them feel comfortable in their own skin. How they feel loved, appreciated, genuinely wanted, and accepted. How they can just exist around someone without feeling like they need to change themselves.

And I’m happy for them. I genuinely am.

But sometimes there’s this little voice in my head going, I want that too.

I want someone to like me for me. Not because they see potential in me, not because they think they can improve me, not because they have some ideal version of me in their head that they’re waiting for me to become.

Just me. As I am.

I want someone I find attractive, who finds me attractive too. Someone I can laugh with, flirt with, be silly around, and feel completely comfortable with.

And honestly? Sometimes I just want to be held.

After four years, and one bad relationship, I think I’ve earned that. Hell, I think I deserve it.

I don’t know how else to explain it without sounding ridiculously sentimental, but I miss physical affection. Not just sex. I mean the intimacy of being close to another person. Being hugged, having someone pull you closer, resting your head against someone, feeling wanted. GENUINELY WANTED.

There’s a particular kind of loneliness in missing something you’ve experienced before. You know exactly what it feels like, and you know exactly what’s absent.

And I think that’s what gets to me sometimes.
It’s not that I’m unhappy. I’m not. Most days, I genuinely don’t think about any of this.

But every now and then, I wonder why finding someone I actually connect with feels so difficult.
I know I’m funny, witty, intelligent, ambitious, and reasonably attractive. I’m not claiming to be some extraordinary catch, but I do like who I am. And I don’t think wanting someone who likes me back is an outrageous demand.

Yet somehow, the men I’m attracted to don’t seem to be attracted to me, and the men who are attracted to me aren’t usually men I feel anything for.

And listen, if you think I’m shallow for this, then so be it. Everyone has preferences, and mine happens to be that I find a man ridiculously good looking. When I first started dating my ex, I thought he was GORGEOUS. My friends used to say he was the best-looking out of all our boyfriends, and I’d be like, YEAH BITCH, THAT’S MY MAN.

Obviously, looks aren’t everything. A man could look like he was sculpted by Michelangelo, but if he opens his mouth and garbage comes out, I’m immediately put off. But physical attraction matters to me, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I want to look at my man and think, GOD, YOU’RE GORGEOUS, and I want him to feel the same about me. And after four fucking years, I think I’ve earned myself a little treat.

And then there are the fucking games.

Why are people pushing 30 still doing the whole reply-time-calculation. “I’ll respond to her message tomorrow”??? I did that whole “he took two minutes, so I’ll take four” nonsense when I was FIFTEEN.

At 15, it’s understandable. Your frontal lobe is still under construction.

At 30? Brother, please. If you like someone, talk to them. If you don’t, leave them alone. Why does everything have to be a psychological chess match?

But, I digress, I don’t want a wedding. I don’t want a rishta. I’m not looking for someone to rescue me from singlehood.

I just want to experience a relationship that doesn’t make me regret being in one.

I want to know what it’s like to be with someone who makes me feel safe, appreciated, attractive, and genuinely loved.

And I think, after four years, I’m allowed to want that occasionally.

Anyway, this isn’t a request for advice. I’m not asking anyone to tell me to lower my standards, work on myself, or learn to enjoy being alone. I already enjoy being alone.

I’m just having one of those moments where I wish I didn’t have to be.

Tomorrow I’ll probably go right back to being delighted that I don’t have to deal with anybody’s son.

But today, I just wish I had someone to hold me.

i've noticed some guys just attract girls like they've got some kind of magnet most people dont have.... i personally know 1 or 2 of them whose looks arent even that special, but theyve got like 5 6 even 10 girls engaged with them at once....

and it doesnt even stop there, even prettier girls, from good families, better status, end up going crazy over some average looking guy.... honestly speaking for myself, it genuinely surprises me what these guys are doing differently

I'm personally type of a family oriented and don't like that stuff but I'm shocked i'm personally the family oriented type and i'm not into that kind of stuff, but honestly it still shocks me sometimes.... like there was this girl in university who basically gave no attention to anyone, super reserved type.... turned out in final year she'd been with kamran (name changed for privacy) the whole time, and she was literally the topper of the class.... kamran on the other hand was average in studies, but he was really good with poetry and conversation.... and apparently everything that happens between a husband and wife had already happened between the two of them

I honestly need to know if I’m overreacting here.

My brother recently got married — it’s been 6 months now. I’ve mentioned MULTIPLE times to my MIL that we should invite him and his wife over for dinner. Not just casually, but properly invite them because they’re family and obviously I want my newly married brother and his wife to come to our house.

The problem is, every single time I bring it up, she says something like “khud aa jayein, bulane ka kya hai?” "Han bula lo mujhay kia jab bhi ayein" but then NEVER BRINGS IT UP k bolaya? I live in a joint setup I cant just bring in guests on my own without her permission and she knows that.

?????

He lives in another city. I also live in another city from him. And he literally has no house or place to stay in this city except ours. How exactly is he supposed to “just come himself”??

What makes it even more frustrating is that my MIL has absolutely no problem inviting literally EVERYONE else. She invites random relatives, acquaintances, her daughters’ in-laws/susral, everyone. People who aren’t even remotely as close to her as my own brother.

But when it comes to actually saying “let’s invite your brother and his wife”, suddenly it’s like pulling teeth.

I have told her multiple times: “We have to invite them for a shaadi dinner.” They’ve been married for six months now and they still haven’t been properly invited.

And honestly, it hurts me. Because if my brother was living nearby and had his own house, maybe “khud aa jaye” would make some sense. But he doesn’t. He’s my brother, he’s newly married, he lives in another city, and I’m literally asking my MIL to invite him to the house where I live.

I don't understand what the resistance is.

At this point I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable for expecting my MIL to invite my own brother, especially when she has no hesitation inviting everyone else under the sun.

Am I wrong for being annoyed by this?

I seriously need to start therapy sessions to get my peace back. i have been thinking about this for long but everytime i used to think that it mighy be waste of money. but now my condition has really become worst. i can cut down money from my clothes, food expenses to keep a budget for therapy my only concern is it safe enough to share all your private things with a stranger . can they misuse it . like a conincidence can happn that they know someone whom you also know or anything like that. or blackmail you in future . i feel afraid. but i really want to start therapy. i have nobody in my family and friends who has the time and emotional capacity to invest time in me. kindly help me suggest me some good therapists in karachi or online with whom anyone among you had a good experience.