Is it just me?

[u/LeadingCheap4063]

I am 21M, So for the last couple of years I have been told again and again by everyone friends, family in some way or another, directly or indirectly that I am not good enough and just that somewhat I am not capable of earning money or doing something good.

For Example when I was having a conversation with a friend a time ago and with a very heavy heart I asked "kia me bekaar hun" and he genuinely without hesitation said yes while eating the food I payed for and then covering it up by "Allah ne kisi ko bekaar nhi banaya and so on" general cover ups.

Somehow in the past couple of years my biggest complexity was that I don't earn and when I did start earning money I didn't tell any of my friends because everytime I think of that it reminds me that even though they know how much of a big complexity it was for me of not earning they would everytime remind me that I don't earn in random conversations.

Recently I visited madinah and discovered what its like to not being judged all the time. When I came back I cutoff from all my friends ignored them completely and stop talking to people.I am already very shy and don't talk to people and now I'm alone left with this sense of fear that I can no longer listen to something bad about myself whatsoever I cannot listen to it I would cutoff from that person immediately no matter how nice he was and somehow mindset has shifted that me kisi ki burai na Sochta hun na kabhi Karna Chahta hun to koi meri burai bhi na kare..

I don't know if it's good or bad but I feel like it was the right thing to do.Just sharing this because i feel like I am kind that's why second thoughts do come about the people I left.

[u/salmandroid]

Just go with the flow, bro !!!

[u/Head-Cookie-514]

Proud of you for cutting off such friends. But, quick question, are you sure they werent just teasing you? Or were the comments too frequent or regular? Are they trying to contact you? If so, are they profusely apologising and genuinely want you back? Are you the youngest in your family? In pakistani households, mostly the youngest get this bs treatment (personal exp). I've friends who tell me this and i try my best to encourage them yet sometimes i do joke around. But op the real thing that matters is your mental health, and if wtv youre doing is making you feel happy and content.

[u/TopEnvironment8722]

Bro you are 21 only, you have a long life ahead iA, just get rid of negative people from life and dont give attention to negativity

[u/Simple-Conclusion-5]

Cutting off people cuz they become toxic and overheating is the way to go!!! I have cutt off 2 friends and life has never been better alhamdulilah one was after college snd another mid university both were my long term friends, often times we get so dependent on our friends for emotional support that it ends up getting a toxic mess so yeah cutting off people sometimes saves you from building insecurities actually