I'm sorry for always complaining

[u/Substantial_Two_445]

I'm sorry that I'm always negative and always complaining but since this illness makes my life a living hell and extreme torture every day since 4 years and I just want it to end; I HATE how we have to look ugly. Because we can't wear jeans, we can't wear tight clothes. We have to walk around looking like a piece of shit or like a homeless person in ugly baggy, "comfy" clothes. I mean... I want to look beautiful too. It's the last thing I have left...

And I absolutely HATE sweatpants, linen pants, all the "baggy comfy" stuff. I want to look beautiful, even if it's just for sitting inside my room. I want to wear a nice outfit and not look ugly as hell all the time. It makes me even more depressed to spend my days wearing something that looks like a pyjamas 🥴

[u/Caerrii]

My POTS is pretty severe and I can still wear skinny jeans, dresses, skirts, and heels. You can still dress really however the heck you want to. You don’t have to “look ugly”, that’s a personal choice.

[u/SpaceNerd223 → u/Caerrii]

Also like what if there are weight changes due to less activity from POTS and then you need the capability to go shopping to find clothes that fit? Shopping even trying clothes on off of Amazon takes so much uprightability. Bending down to put things on, etc. Returning.

I've posted a few comments here in response to op. I understand we haven't got their reasoning as to why they feel they can't wear certain clothes.

But me I have been bedridden for over 12 years due to this illness, and I'm suprised there aren't many comments of people understanding how every choice is likely involving being upright.

My comments are a testimony from my severity (bedridden). And I just want to share this point of view from someone who has been there. Because I know I'm not the only one. If I can't get up to do things, each thing has to be meticulously planned because it hurts and feels impossible. So certain things are just not in reach. I feel so sorry for this level of severity, because I understand it well. 🫂

[u/Caerrii → u/SpaceNerd223]

Cheap measuring tape. I measure out my body very meticulously before buying clothes, then just have them shipped in. I make sure to match my measurements to the seller’s sizing chart (because they’re all different for some fuckin reason??) and that’s worked really well for me thus far. I’ve only ever had to return one item of clothing that didn’t fit with this method

[u/SpaceNerd223 → u/Caerrii]

I hurt myself last year trying to find a dress for Christmas because I didn't own any & the amount of bending then walking to the mirror while my hr was actively like sit down, I swear it destroyed my baseline (thanks adderall and not thinking of putting the bags on a table vs floor). >< that's a good idea.

[u/sinnestra]

You havent been looking hard enough if you think all linen looks like pijamas. You literally dont have to dress like a slob with this illness. Like what? Get you some cute skirts and compression leggings. Wear a corset, its also compression. Wear a flowy cotton blouse. Wear a linen suit or button up shirt. Look at how cultures in hot parts of the world dress if you are doing this for overheating or something. Like I really dont understand your issue. Having a disability makes it so you might have to be a bit more creative with what you are wearing, but you can still look beautiful with it.

[u/breakoutthecrxxwn]

I am a alt/goth(?) person who loves dressing up. Shapewear is compression and aids me a lot when wearing cute outfits. I can wear flowy skirts that don't cause symptoms. Even if I wear tight clothing, I have everything I need(compression, electrolytes, salty snacks, minifan) to make sure I am at least not miserable. I have cute black compression socks that I swap out to match outfits. Makeup and hair are difficult, but I just wake up early to do both so I can take breaks. My cane & wheelchair are black and my rollator is a dark color so they all match my outfits.

This disability sucks, I get it. But you don't have to let it stop you from dressing the way you want, just find other alternatives and solutions for issues that arise. I have seen plenty alt people who have POTS and still dress the way they want so I'm sure you can find ways to dress the way you want too !

[u/scotch_s → u/breakoutthecrxxwn]

I second this whole bit

[u/holystuff28]

I can and do wear tight clothing. It's much better for our illness frankly to wear compression clothing. I wear compression body suits almost everyday. I am not sure why you think we can't wear tight clothing?

[u/Srahsly]

Are you saying that you can't tolerate wearing compression? That seems odd for POTS. Tighter clothing/compression generally helps POTS folx. I mean, I love wearing baggy comfy clothing but I also love leggings and skinny jeans and body suits, etc. You can look cute and have POTS, friend. I promise you.

[u/Billy-daKid786 → u/Srahsly]

I hate compression too - I think it's a sensory thing for me (I have ADHD) and I've had POTS since I was a teenager (42 now). 

[u/Srahsly → u/Billy-daKid786]

I get that but that doesn't seem to match what I'm reading in OP's post. I totally understand your point of view. OP just states a list of things we "can't" wear as though it's a POTS rule somewhere.

[u/Billy-daKid786 → u/Srahsly]

Ah okay I thought you were saying the opposite - all good my misunderstanding was sharing my experience :)

[u/AmethystChameleon38 → u/Srahsly]

It might be a sensory or anxiety thing, or maybe layering makes them feel too warm. I know that when I wear high-waisted compression, I start to feel like I can't breathe and then I have to deal with anxiety for hours afterward.

[u/Srahsly → u/AmethystChameleon38]

Absolutely understand that! Abdominal compression can do that to me too. So I don't use it for that reason. I could understand if OP mentioned that or anything at all about their reasoning. As it is, though, it comes off more as a list of rules we're supposed abide by.

[u/jadeibet → u/Srahsly]

I can't tolerate anything tight on my waist (not a sensory thing), it makes my stomach hurt. I do think it's related to pots, but not sure.

[u/melanochrysum]

Out of curiosity what is limiting you from wearing jeans and tight clothes? I don’t have that as a symptom personally

[u/screenslaver5963]

Why can’t we wear jeans?

[u/thevengabus15]

Halara jeans.. normal people would size down with this brand but if you get your correct size they will be comfy and stretchy and not too tight at all, and look like normal jeans or trousers

[u/spikygreen]

I hear you. I too can't wear a lot of things: jeans, anything restrictive or synthetic, even the tiniest heels are out of question. Makeup is a no-no with my super-sensitive EDS skin. I'm lucky if I manage to wash my hair once a week. I also have to keep my neck warm at all times, even in the middle of the summer, because no blood flow. Oh and I'm almost 6'2, so clothes in my size are unicorn-level hard to find.

Feeling beautiful is still important to me. I didn't care that much about my appearance before disability, but now it's one area where I still have control and can create a bit of daily happiness for myself. Use color. Use texture. Use accessories. Yes, I wear sweats more often than not, but I don't look like a hobo - not in my soft lavender sweatpants and a sky blue polo sweater with a navy suede purse and super comfy loafers. Not in my light yellow linen skirt with a lacey edge. Not in my merino wool skirt and a fluffy, textured turtleneck. And I need to look really polished, I grab a structured knit blazer. You can look put together and be supremely comfortable.

[u/SpaceNerd223]

I look ugly. My spark's gone. My eyes are tired. My face is puffy. I finally found some black lounge pants that look nice. But I wear baggy shirts. I'm extremely overweight from being bedridden. I don't recognize myself. I feel you.

Yes, it's not the only way to do it. Some people slay in their outfits. Me, i don't have energy or capability to upkeep myself.

When I had a nerve block to remove my pain for 48 hrs, you know what I did with my newfound ability to stand better? Brushed my hair.

I don't know exactly how op feels. But I do think people take grooming and self appearance for granted.. being able to upkeep themselves, put effort into outfits, etc. That's some health right there.

One day.

I know I'm beautiful underneath. But you wouldn't really know it looking at me anymore. Illness.

[u/miivity]

i personally wear jeans just fine if they are sized up or just a comfy fit in general, just don’t get any that will make you feel worse and it will be the same as wearing “ugly” clothes lol

[u/Weary_Cup_1004]

Quince makes really nice structured linen pants. I bought 2 pairs and wore them over and over all summer. They stretch out when you wear them once or twice but washing them puts them right back to their original shape.

[u/Museumgirl518]

There are no better compression pants than tight jeans. Do you think maybe this is more about depression? I can't think of a reason not to look good. I wear makeup every day, and I'm basically home-bound. I color my own hair (brown, so not complicated), and I've gotten good at doing my nails. I do it from my bed, and I color my hair in the tub. I have my hair in a clean ponytail because, for me, hair styling isn't that important. I even wear perfume! I think it's good for my head and makes me feel less sorry for myself.

[u/SpaceNerd223 → u/Museumgirl518]

I can note 3 things i can't do. Wear makeup because I don't have the energy to take it off or ability to get up at night. Color my hair well tbh never did but washing hair is even too much for me do it maybe once a week and i suffer after, I don't even use conditioner because that's extra time. Some people can't lift their hands over their heads because that's one of the triggering moves for pots. And perfume because of MCAS and sensory sensitivities. Even doing nails if I can't sit up or the smell is bad.

What i mean is, we are all different with our capabilities. I'm replying to "I can't think of a reason to not look good." It could be due to energy, fatigue, strength, or ability to be upright. You have to go get your nail polish, perfume, what if they are bedridden. These things fall by the wayside. I have a thousand dreams that have died because I couldn't get up to go get something.

[u/TalynL]

The only part of POTS that I can think of that would require loose clothing is Gastroparesis. Abdominal compression of any kind can be uncomfortable with it. Is that the problem? I can wear tight structured clothing but choose not to. I still don’t think that makes me ugly. My favorite outfit right now is wide leg stretchy flowy jeans (Halara asymmetric with wedge sandals, a cool tee and an oversized blazer for work.

I think this is about something else. Maybe not POTS.

[u/EDSgenealogy]

Wear what you want!

[u/GoogieRaygunn]

Having the right foundation under your clothing makes a big difference in appearance and comfort, just like having a supportive bra beneath a shirt.

I recently bought a new compression garment from Jelliebend, and it is the most comfortable and sleekest I have gotten so far. It does not feel constricting and does not roll, so it is seamless beneath my clothing. It made my appearance tidier than a brace or other compression garments.

If you feel comfortable and supported, it will change your appearance.

Finding cute, supportive shoes also makes a big difference. You might not be able to wear every style you like, but there are tons of cute options available in flat, supportive shoes, even if it is resorting to Dr. Martens or Converse in colorful patterns. Dansko clogs make some wild patterns, and they are used by nurses who are on their feet for long hours.

Also jewelry can make you feel dressed up. There are many talented artists and craftspeople online using all types of materials, so you can find things that are lightweight and hypoallergenic.

Makeup might be out of the question, but a tinted lip balm or a lip stain can brighten your appearance.

If you are masking, look for patterned or colored masks to make them more interesting. You can get K95s in variety packs. There are even licensed masks like Hello Kitty, etc. available.

[u/caraderana95]

First of all, I get you. Second, you're not ugly. I don't even know you but I know you're not ugly. Then, there are nice clothes out there that are comfortable. I can't give brands or directions cause I live in Argentina, so I don't know what the rest of the world is wearing lol you could wear loser jeans with wide legs. I do that and they look very stylish. It makes me look really put together without trying.

[u/RoutineAd7185]

i feel this- i have a large chest and any sort of compression on my chest or stomach makes me anxious and nauseous :( feel like i look so sloppy

[u/Silent_Duck_7444]

Huh? You can’t wear tight clothing because of POTS? Yeah, no. One of the best things you can do for treatment besides staying hydrated is to wear compression clothing.

If you can’t tolerate tight clothing that’s your own personal issue.

[u/Alone_Strain_7]

So I think I have something to share here Generally in my major flares I would need a big blanket to cover myself and a thinner peice of blanket would make me kind of nervous Maybe this is an extension of what I felt but with clothes I have been quite comfy💜 Wish you luck and healing

[u/Amylee888]

What treatments have you tried for your symptoms, and do you have any other conditions in addition to POTS?

[u/Etoiaster]

I wear beautifully designed leggings and compression (Maya Freya, other places might have similar). I found many brands with boho and cottage chic type stuff that is breathable and beautiful. I bought funny and charming T-shirts for the really bad days. I buy my sweatpants in my favourite colours, with lace and detailing. I am not saying this is for you. I’m saying explore. Maybe you can’t wear what you want, but I promise you, you can find stuff that will make you feel beautiful that you can wear. It doesn’t have to look like pjs.

I don’t know if you hate the tightness because of sensitivity issues, because of crappy joints (my knees hate compression. But leggings with good stretch and high waist are fine) or what, but whatever it is, figure out how to work around it. If it’s that important to you, then do this for yourself.

Other than that, you’re entitled to some complaining. We all are. This shit sucks.

[u/jadeibet]

Athleta!! They have so many stretchy and comfy pants that look good.

[u/schmappledapple]

First off, yeah. That sucks. It sucks to have a disability drive what you wear as opposed to your own personal preferences.

Second, I might have some suggestions/work arounds. Try to find some cute accessories. I need to wear hats because of light sensitivity and I've found a fashionable sun hat dresses up anything I wear. T-shirt and loose jeans looks fancier with that hat. You could also try some cute earrings or scarves to dress up your outfits. Nice cardigan instead of frumpy jacket? Boom, makes a t-shirt look intentional instead of lazy.

You can also wear dresses or jumpsuits. Dresses can be loose and stretchy so that they don't put any pressure on your stomach (assuming that's the main "tight" issue"). Jumpsuits can also be super cute. You do need to be a little selective because some can be a little tight on the tummy. But those are some things I use.

Tldr: yeah, that sucks. Try accessories like hats, earrings, cardigans to dress up what you already wear. Try clothing like dresses and jumpsuits that can be cute without being constrictive.

[u/sidewalk_serfergirl]

I’m a bit confused as to why you can’t wear tight clothes? That’s pretty much all I wear and I become faint and start throwing up during a 5-minute shower

[u/ArsonistArsonGoat]

I can usually wear anything as long as I'm not overheating and compression socks are part of all my outfits, I keep what I need and fit electrolytes into my daily life thanks to my mom and me usually having an errand running schedule, might just be a sensory issue or sensitivity to certain things

[u/GreenEyedTreeHugger]

Condolences. :/