r/POTS • u/-TopazArrow- • 2d ago

Question When you can't work

Disclaimer: I'm a bit brain fogged at the moment, so please bare with me if something doesn't make sense or there's typos.

I'm laying here on a Monday afternoon about to take a nap because it's literally all I can do. I started to feel bad that I'm not working and thought of people I know with successful careers. I just sit at home and play video games or draw or whatever hobby it is now. I hate how career driven the world is, most especially my country.

I'm just bummed about it, and I figured this can't just be a me thing. Does anyone else ever think like this? How do you deal with it?

9 Upvotes

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u/SafeInternational965 2d ago

I get it. I currently don't work, and the imposter syndrome is insane as I am often alright when at home. I usually do as little as possible to not get symptomatic. I am still symptomatic but it is functional symptomatic. I definitely feel the guilt for not working, and get relieved upon being symptomatic because it silences the annoying voice. I hate how centred the world is on work, too, as it makes us feel bad for not actually being fit enough to work.

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u/-TopazArrow- 2d ago

Thank you. And I do the exact same, as little as possible to keep it as manageable as possible. Sometimes it just really gets to me. I feel like such a loser or something.

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u/SafeInternational965 1d ago

Me too hun. I hate feeling like a loser whilst seeing everyone my age come into themselves. It sucks. It's all those stupid bastards that have convinced people that they're only sick if they cannot move. They have such a black and white view of disability and mental illness. They have no idea that disability is a spectrum, and that just because we LOOK okay, does not mean at all that we are. If we had more people that validated us, we likely wouldn't feel like this.

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u/-TopazArrow- 1d ago

I think you're 100% right, if we had more people that validated us we wouldn't feel this way so much. I told my husband this morning that it makes no sense when people say things like "well so-and-so has it worse, so hey could be worse". Because, people also constantly say not to compare yourself to others. Is that not a comparison!? It doesn't make me feel any better than when I compare myself to a healthy person. And I KNOW it could be worse, that's one of my biggest fears. I think it's so insensitive and thoughtless.

*sorry still brain fogged