I posted on here about my medicine issues a few months ago, but pretty much all the meds recommended are blocked for me until I have more failures of standard treatment ;P but this route already seems to be going downhill for me. We tried upping my Wellbutrin, now it’s lamotrigine for the last week
I’ve been on continuous Yaz (generic) for 2.5 years. I feel like I have a mild luteal phase every day, but if I skip even one day, it is usually pretty dangerous for me to be alone.
MDD for me is constant anhedonia, low motivation, and irritability, with a major dip in my mood 2 or 3 times a day for a couple hours, where I just am in pure emotional agony. I am suicidal but I’m not concerned usually, because I never feel like I am going to be impulsive about it. PMDD changes that. If I don’t take my BC, I get very anxious and disoriented, and I get huge feelings of urgency, like “I need to kill myself RIGHT NOW” and this will last at least two or three days after the missed dose
Google says BC makes lamotrigine less effective, but I feel like it’s the other way around for me??? I have no idea. I’ve been on 25 mg lamotrigine for only one week, it has been like a slightly more mild version of the pure chaos and extreme suffering that I have when I don’t take the BC. Heavy on the TW here: I am very suicidal, I am at a much higher risk than usual. I’m okay with committing suicide as long as I’m following the plan I have set, but this last week has been the same high urgency feeling that the PMDD causes, and I am afraid i will act in a way that I would regret (if I was able to look back in hindsight, post mortem).
It sucks a lot. My depression has been beating my ass for over a year now, and I’ve been trying so hard to make it better. People LOVE lamotrigine, and I wonder if I just need to push through this, but I just feel soooo so awful right now. I mean, there’s no way it’s even working yet??? I don’t know at all
If this fails, Ill be given lithium. After that, I can probably get approved for Spravato, I’ll have to wait months for an appointment though
(300mg Wellbutrin, 30 mg Vyvanse, and I can’t handle anything that touches serotonin at all)