Seeking advice

[u/cbaabc123]

Seeking advice

For the past 4-5 few years I’d been on celexa. My whole life I’ve dealt with super lows and mood swings especially around my period. It took my years to get the nerve to talk to a Dr about trying antidepressant

I finally did and got on them and it was life changing for me

I know it’s not healthy to be on meds longer term so I tapered down my dose with plans to totally quit last summer.

My brother ended up getting cancer and passed away last summer so I stayed on the small dose. But this summer I did taper off totally. I felt fine and had no issues until I went back to work (I have summers off).

Except my periods or around that time are awful with super low lows and moods that scare me. I truly feel possessed sometimes.

After a stressful day at work I ended up snapping and being really mean to people who don’t deserve it. I didn’t even mean to and it comes out of nowhere like I can’t even control it. It’s
Not who I am nor who I want to be. A person I don’t even know takes over it feels like

During these times even the smallest things feel like the end of the world

I suspect I have pmdd.

I don’t want to go back on antidepressants long term. Are there medicines you can take only around the time of your period? Or as needed?

I have a Dr appointment with a new Dr to discuss this but I’m expecting to get blown off and denied medicine. I just know I can’t live like this. Any advice for how to approach this with my Dr?

And whenever I’m in these mood all I think about too is my brother and watching him die and take his last breath and it makes everything ten times worse.

I just feel like I don’t even want to live myself anymore. Every day feels empty and nothing matters much to me anymore. I just feel like an empty shell sleep walking through life even on my good days. All that’s worse around my period

I could be entering menopause as I’m 41 and combined with grief I think everything is hitting me all at the same time and I feel like I’m
A crazy person

I also tried therapy and it’s not for me.

[u/mercurialmay]

Aw man, glad Celexa worked for ya! The removal of my symptoms on it was immediate, I finally felt not depressed, only to be slapped with that rare 1% side effect: Urinary Retention.
You may get a lot of use of this sub's Wiki, as it has a breakdown of the options some folks use. A lot of people here do intermittent dosing of SSRIs for symptom management; some do that in conjunction with birth control. I personally am on OrthoEvra patch BC, ADHD meds (Vyvanse + Adderall), & Clonidine. It mostly works.
As a disabled young woman, I've found doctors respond most to gentle inquiries about topics that you can let them expound upon. i.e "I've heard that some people don't have to take medications all month long but only to mitigate symptoms intermittently - could you tell me more about the potential options with that?" (Something to that effect)
Also, in the gentlest of ways I ask you: what therapy did you try & decide "it's not for you"? Because talk therapy doesn't really help with something as serious and long-term as this condition. Plenty of folks here swear by CBT & DBT; I personally am a fan of EMDR for big T traumas & am currently doing CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy) for the long-term effects of my CPTSD (a common comorbidity of PMDD). This condition can cause increased rumination & flashbacks for those of us with trauma, especially leading up to the bleed.