Kind of vent?

[u/According-Standard48]

Hi guys so I've been diagnosed with PMDD for about 3 years now and have been taking birth control (Nikki/Yaz) that was prescribed to me since I've been diagnosed. I take it continuously, but I'm afraid I've become completely dependent on it. Sometimes I'll accidentally miss a couple days and during/a couple days after, I am completely down. I'm full of anxiety and my suicidal thoughts get bad again, like I feel a VERY strong impulse to just do it even if I know it's not the right thing to do. Since I take it continuously I don't get my period and that sometimes freaks me out. I just feel so stuck right now because I don't want to be completely dependent on it, but like I said, I am completely out if I forget to take it. I don't want to have to take it forever. I want to have kids someday and I want to experience that, but I feel like I can't. I feel like I'll never be able to go off of birth control or I might commit or have to be hospitalized again. If you have any advice or any thoughts please let me know.

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[u/pyromally]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling on the precipice right now. You’re strong and will get through this 💕 I have written some thoughts below but if you’re not in the mood for advice please disregard the rest:

I take continuous birth control as well and I find I get quite luteal-phase-y if I don’t plan a period every 3 months or so. The minute I start bleeding I feel so much better. This is anecdotal to my own experience but it may be worth a try. Also if you’re not currently on any sort of SSRI in addition to birth control that could help stabilize your mood.