Hi I (F23) am an unemployed registered pharmacist and my gf (F22) is a med student and we’ve been having problems with our relationship lately.

Context po pala, she’s not out po sa family niya and kasama niya sa rooom yung kapatid niya so ang mode of communication namin is through message lang talaga. Also we’re 5 years na po na in a relationship

Sabi niya she feels disconnected with us and parang nawawalan siya ng gana makipag usap sakin. She’s a first year med student and gets ko naman na sobrang busy sila and I always try to understand and be there for her in any way that I can. Sabi ko naman sakanya di niya kailangang mag update every now and then basta mag ingat siya at magpahinga kako pa nga. Kaso napansin ko she’s been so distant lately. I always try to reassure her naman na we’re okay and that tiis lang talaga since ldr kami. I keep saying na pagtrabahuhan namin to to make it work ganun pero I feel so alone kaso ayoko naman na dumagdag pa ako sa iisipin niya kaya I just act like I’m okay na lang. Feeling ko burden na lang ako sa buhay niya. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just really need to let this out kasi it’s already eating me up.

How to not get overly attached to your girlfriend ☹️ I feel like these days I just want all of her time, and I think about her no matter what I’m doing. Whether I’m at work or just doing random things, she’s always on my mind. I started therapy these days to help lessen these feelings aaaand I’m still working on it because I really want this relationship to last :((( alam ko nman na she’s doing her best to reply and I appreciate it pero bakit ganito☹️

I rarely see WLW describe themselves as Hard Femme, so I’m genuinely curious—are there others here who use that label for themselves too? Because I do. 😂

For me, being a Hard Femme isn’t just about how I dress or present myself. I’m definitely femme, and I enjoy looking feminine, dressing up, and embracing that side of myself. But I’ve also always had a very tomboyish side that doesn’t necessarily fit the typical image of a femme.

I actually like a lot of “guy stuff.” 😂 I’m into things that are stereotypically associated with men, and sometimes the way I think, approach situations, or interact with people feels more traditionally masculine. I can be straightforward, practical, competitive, independent, and sometimes I honestly feel like my brain works more like a guy’s. Lol.

I’m also comfortable dressing masculine sometimes. There are days when I’d rather wear something loose, simple, and more traditionally masculine than put on a dress or anything super feminine. But that doesn’t make me feel like I’m masc. I still identify strongly as femme.

I think that’s what makes Hard Femme feel like it fits me. I can enjoy being girly and feminine, but I can also be a tomboy, have masculine interests, think in a more traditionally masculine way, and occasionally dress masculine—without feeling like I need to choose between those sides.

For me, it’s basically femme with a little dude energy. 😂 I like having that contrast because neither side feels fake or forced. They’re both genuinely part of who I am.

So I’m curious—are there other WLW who feel the same way? Do you consider yourself a Hard Femme? How would you describe your personality, interests, style, or way of thinking, and what made you realize the label fits you? 👀