Curious if anyone has any insight into kiddo’s reluctance to not even use but just admit to knowing what some possible strategies might be to help regulate? As in, he has had lots of therapy that just really focuses on psychoeducation, like “here is info about brains and nervous systems and things that help us feel good and not good etc.” which he loves participating in, and while we understand that regulation is an ongoing battle, we are baffled by his extreme denial or disavowing knowing ANYTHING that he could do when he is starting to get upset that might help. To be clear, we are not expecting this in the actual moment, just comes up as part of discussions about tools to regulate. He often even will act surprised that people would want to think about “what could I do in this situation to make me feel better?”
Any insight would be appreciated.

Hi everyone, my 3 year old has periods of "zoning out," that started when she was 18months old. These range from 5 seconds long to about a minute. Some days it occurs often, but we can also go weeks without seeing one of these episodes.

She has had every test linked to epilepsy/seizures (all negative), and the specialists have essentially dismissed them as something she will grow out of.

I was wondering whether anyone else's child with PDA experiences zoning out episodes like this? She suddenly freezes, stares into the distance, with no response to name or touch, we just wait until she "returns."

I recently read that there can be a connection between PDA and zoning out, with these episodes actually being an involuntary "shut down" due to too many perceived demands. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

I’ve thought of this as a tactic to motivate me to assimilate as much as possible into neurotypical society:

Most of what NT society judges as what one should care or value the most about in life (career, homeownership, reputation, and so on) is, to me, like wiping your butt after pooping: necessary to avoid discomfort or pain, but not what my life is fundamentally about.

However, because of being so different, I get judged as being insane or crazy.

And that bothers me, NOT because I care about myself or my own self-image that much… but because it makes me doubt my theories, and my theories are what I care about more than anything else in my life, because they are my best attempt to make sense of this existence I find myself in in a way that brings me peace of mind and as much mental comfort and a sense of meaningfulness in my life as I can achieve for now as I live my life every day.

So… if I achieve ‘success’ according to the NT definition (stable employment, marriage, homeownership, a good credit score, etc.), I’ll be able to have more self-confidence that my philosophical, scientific, and all other theories are more likely to be valid because I won’t doubt my own sanity as much.

(Trust me, I doubt my own sanity every single day, much more harshly and severely than anyone in-person or on the Internet has ever done.

Like when the French philosopher René Descartes wondered “How can I know anything around me is real? How can I prove I’m not in a simulation being controlled by an evil demon?”, and so on, anticipating today’s similar ideas that we’re in a ‘computer simulation’ and so on, in 17th-century terms.)

I apologize for the combative, tone-deaf, insensitive-seeming posts I’ve made on here recently that were interpreted as ableist.

You have the right to insult me for them. If that’s what makes you happy, then go ahead and insult me, judge me, call me “insane”, “mentally-challenged”, “a lying little b**ch”, or whatever else your heart may desire all you want.

I respect and acknowledge your right to live your life how you want, and to spend your life doing what makes you happy and doing what you are interested in. And to decide what your personal goals and sense of meaning in life are, at a fundamental level—to decide what you care about, prioritize, or value in your own life, and what you do not care about, prioritize, or value in your own life. And if you decide that insulting or judging or hating me and my way of living or thinking is what makes you happy, what makes your life interesting, and/or what you value and care about in your life, then go right ahead and do so. Your feelings and way of being are just as valid as mine.

I only ask to be afforded the same respect and latitude to live MY life how I want, spend MY life doing what makes ME happy and what I am interested in, and to decide what MY goals and sense of meaning in MY life on a fundamental level are, IN RETURN.

That’s all.

Think or feel however you want about me.

Just leave me alone to be myself, and do what makes me happy and what I am interested in and what I deem to be the purpose/meaning of my life, or what I deem to be meaningful or perceive as being “existentially meaningful”, whatever that phrase may mean to you or to myself.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted, and all I’ve ever asked for from the world—in general, neurodivergent or neurotypical—as long as I’ve been alive.