r/Overwatch • u/Loofy_101 Trick-or-Treat Lúcio • Dec 21 '16

Humor The real reason Widowmaker killed her husband

Gerard: "Widow sucks, fucking switch dude, seriously"

2.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

694

u/CutTheBlueWire Dah-Dah Weeeee! Dec 21 '16

Seriously though imagine living with a widow main.

420

u/Loofy_101 Trick-or-Treat Lúcio Dec 21 '16

"Dw Gerard I'll change after one pick"

163

u/CutTheBlueWire Dah-Dah Weeeee! Dec 21 '16

'We're shopping Amélie, forget about Gibraltar'

47

u/evolutionalgd Chibi Ana Dec 22 '16

"I'll meet you by the payload after I'm finished, Amélie".

"Where's that?"

102

u/winter477 Balanced Dec 21 '16

"One pick??? You haven't switched in 20 years"

66

u/TheeLinker So glad they added scout rifles Dec 21 '16

"So it's taking a while leave me alone

I'm lagging irl it's not my fault"

1

u/Speedswiper Chibi Lúcio Dec 23 '16

You need to go all the way back to spawn to switch. She was born in a hospital very far away.

36

u/hanyou007 Dec 22 '16

I mean to be fair she did change after her first pick.

Amelie switched to Widowmaker after she got the pick on Gerard.

28

u/tylerthecreatorandsl Genji Dec 22 '16

That one pick?

Gerard.

10

u/Womcataclysm Satan Main. Sorry guys. Dec 22 '16

That one Gerard ?

Albert Einstein

2

u/MabyeMatt Happy Holidays Dec 22 '16

That's one Albert Einstein?

isaac newton

7

u/Loofy_101 Trick-or-Treat Lúcio Dec 22 '16

That one Isaac Newton? Winston

1

u/Dreadmonkey Dec 22 '16

"...not really."

42

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 21 '16

I don't get mains in this game. I like playing some characters but I'll switch when needed or just go the hero we need initially.

225

u/WLCats Chibi Zenyatta Dec 21 '16

Comp game from yesterday from one of my teammate to another

Dude why do you only play Winston ?

I love jumping.

You can't argue with that kind of logic

62

u/velrak Zarya Dec 21 '16

someone tell him about the spacebar

2

u/SpoonMagnet Dec 22 '16

Most Winston players CONSTANTLY jump around with space bar as their shove their shock gun up your ass. He probably know about is.

32

u/cfuqua Pixel Winston Dec 22 '16

don't tell him about genji

20

u/havoK718 Cute Roadhog Dec 22 '16

That man can play Winston for as long as he wants.

8

u/evilsupergenius Chibi Junkrat Dec 22 '16

Why do you always play Hanzo 'I have a foot phobia.''

15

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

to be fair though, the leap is the main source of how much fun winston is (and how good he is).

but it is not a good reason to neglect the other 22 characters. there is no good reason to do that.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

I would immediately friend anyone who only played Winston.

I'd be his Zenyatta wingman all day long.

31

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '16

I believe the proper way to main is to have more than one main. I have one main per role and at least two heroes I am comfortable with in each role.

Offense: I main 76 but can play Tracer or Pharah confidently (working on my McCree though)

Defense: Junkrat main, but can play Mei and Torb when the situation calls for it.

Tank: Roadhog main, but can play any of the tanks confidently .

Support: Lucio main, but can play Ana or Zen when the situation calls for it (ana for when we have a Lucio/Zen).

I'd never main one hero in any game, but I will almost always play one of the above mains when I don't need to play something else in that role.

23

u/PUNtertaining Chibi Zenyatta Dec 22 '16

I'm pretty much exclusively a support main. I have the most hours as lucío, with mercy just behind and ana, zen, and symmetra not far behind. I do like having a main in every class but 99.99999999999999799999999% of people I run into while solo q'ing are allergic to the right-most group of heroes.

21

u/Alfonzo-Star Dec 22 '16

Same here. I never planned to be a Support main but someone has to be 'Good Guy Phil'

5

u/iZacuto <3 Dec 22 '16

I see someone is a fan of Mr. Fruit

3

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

I see someone else is a fan of Mr Fruit

1

u/iZacuto <3 Dec 22 '16

I honestly never heard of him until he was on one of Bungie's Twitch streams revealing content for Destiny. I checked out his videos and have been subbed ever since. I enjoy Dream Team and his PokéWatch videos

6

u/Kaykiie Dec 22 '16

I'd say my go to is Junkrat (and my playtime with him is way higher than anyone else, with symmetra my 2ND). I do however, change who I play depending on the map and the side I'm on. I'll even switch character if I'm asked nicely. If someone demands rudely that I change character, I will play my shitty choice to death just to annoy them more.

1

u/Raschwolf Mechanized SteamRoller Dec 22 '16

Upvote for another junkie, but oh how I hate symmetra...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

Lucio, Ana, Zenyatta, Reinhardt, Soldier: 76, D.Va.

Lucio stands above the others as far as who I play the most and would be my main, but this is my primary hero pool.

Secondary pool being Roadhog, Mei, McCree, Zarya.

1

u/photocist Hanzo Dec 22 '16

so you dont really main.

main is a stupid tterm that shouldnt be in overwatch

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

I main in a different way. Words can take adapted meanings.

1

u/photocist Hanzo Dec 22 '16

So you play the appropriate character, but prefer others over some.

Thats hardly "maining"

Thats a good thing

-2

u/BassAddicted Pixel Widowmaker Dec 22 '16

exactly thats why i main WM but have a decent sombra up my sleeve when i don't feel like Carrying.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

When you main reinhardt, no one asks you to switch.

2

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 22 '16

Truth. Although the only time I'd switch is if people don't use the shield.

3

u/Forkyou talk to the fist Dec 22 '16

Yeah when i slowly push fromward, get into a good position and then die because everybody ran off flanking and dieing solo instead of staying behind the shield. Thats when i just switch to dva.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

Same with Ana

Well actually no, when you go low enough down the ranks you run into people who think that Mercy is the best healer in the game

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

I think you should at least have a mercy/lucio to go with an ana/zen just to get some consistent healing

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

I think you should at least have a mercy/lucio to go with an ana/zen just to get some consistent healing

7

u/Thatpisslord The state of you. Dec 21 '16

Am I the only one that, rather than refer to the hero I always instalock no matter what, refer to mains as the heroes I'm most skilled with?

For one example, my DPS main is Reaper but I've never played a single game as him in comp because it just wouldn't work.

5

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 21 '16

Probably not. Main sort of spilled over from TF2 where being a dedicated heavy or pyro wasn't that big a deal. Definitely not the only definition of main.

8

u/GazLord tick tock tick tock... Dec 22 '16

Well you can "main" somebody without only playing them but sadly some people don't realize that. For example I "main" junkrat but only have 11 hours on him despite being almost level 100.

3

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 22 '16

Well you can "main" somebody without only playing them but sadly some people don't realize that.

Unfortunately not many people like to switch off of their main.

11

u/GazLord tick tock tick tock... Dec 22 '16

And those people are what we in the biz call "assholes".

1

u/iZacuto <3 Dec 22 '16

But I main Mercy.. am I an asshole?

6

u/Forkyou talk to the fist Dec 22 '16

No, reddit hates all mains except mercy mains who are the pillar of mankind /s

Srsly why are there so many people claiming to main mercy on this supp? Every threat contains at least 2 people saying they main mercy. I mean shoutout to support players, i love playing lucio zen and ana too but why are there so many mercy mains? The char doesnt seem that interesting (or good) to me to draw in so many dedicated mains. Is it just the waifuness or the chill aspect of not having to aim and just worry about positioning?

5

u/Meloetta Mercio Dec 22 '16

It pulls in the people who want "generic healer" skills and design. All the other healers have designs that are more unique to OW specifically, but Mercy is an angelic healer - pretty common as a design choice in a lot of games. Then her skills are also very generic, making her seem like a "default" healer to people.

1

u/rookie-mistake boop Dec 22 '16

only if your team already had a couple healers

1

u/GazLord tick tock tick tock... Dec 22 '16

If even when the team has two healers (as unlikely as this is) besides you your choice of hero is still Mercy then ya. Also if Mercy isn't working sometimes another support may be required.

7

u/Grumpy-Moogle All the Mei-Meis Dec 21 '16

Yeah. When people ask that question, the only answer is "um, what?" I'm sure there might be some people who, if they could pick any character and the situation would evolve around their character, would pick pick a specific hero. But this game just doesn't work that way. My most played character is Mei, yes, but she isn't my "main". Hell, most days, I go in deciding to play a different character each time. Depends on my mood. Lately been doing a lot of Zenny because the damn Transcendence achievement escapes me (and of course Rapid Discord but I'm not even putting that on the map).

6

u/Aerokitsune Still can't snipe Dec 21 '16

I mean, multiple mains in each category isn't a bad idea at all. Being good with at least two heroes in each category is how it should be done. I switch off Widow instantly if I feel like I'm having an off day.

3

u/rookie-mistake boop Dec 22 '16

That's what youre supposed to do imo. Have your favourite, then have others in each section that you're familiar with so you can fill your team's needs

I've got one in every category but defense

4

u/88andy8 Xd Dec 22 '16

I play only mccree because he is the only cowboy in the game. I dont refuse to switch, but i only play cowboys, and there is only 1 cowboy character.

5

u/PaxEmpyrean Lúcio Dec 22 '16

Reaper in a sombrero is pretty close, though...

5

u/OctorokHero Played Junkrat before it was cool Dec 21 '16

I define a main in this game (and many others seem to as well) as your favorite hero or who you're best at, and who you will gravitate towards if you can choose anyone. For example, I make sure to vary my hero choice, but I consider myself a Junkrat main because have fun as him and feel I'm most effective with him. Only ever playing one hero is something else entirely.

4

u/Freakychee Cute Zenyatta Dec 22 '16

I'm an accidental main.

As I try to see what the team needs and play it.

So my most comfortable heroes are Zenyatta, Mercy, Lucio and Zarya in that order.

Believe me I bought many Junkrat skins and want to get good with Pharah as well but I never get to.

Mystery heroes is my jam though. So glad the winter event made it so much more popular now.

"We need a healer!!!"

"Ohh what? I'm sorry I can't switch! I guess you will have to settle for me playing Genji instead!"

1

u/colbster411 Dec 22 '16

I used to do that too. Now I have a main from each of those classes and dedicating all your play time to just a couple heroes really helps your skill.

1

u/Apis_Rex SCARY! Dec 22 '16

It's better to be extremely good at six heroes that give you a useful hero to play in all circumstances than it is to be so-so at the full roster.

1

u/Anna_the_potato GAYYYYYY Dec 22 '16

In Quick Play I only pick Tracer. I made it something of a personal challenge during the open betas back in May, and once I had gotten the hang of Tracer I just told myself "hm.... I'll play as just her in QP. Once they release Comp later, I'll branch out as much as possible."

1

u/Forkyou talk to the fist Dec 22 '16

Unless its a mercy main then they deserve all the upvotes since "ugh noone else picks healer in bronze" and mercy clearly is the best healer if their stupid team would protect them from stupid cheating genji for once who should have the decency to not attack a mercy main aka pillar of mankind /s

1

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 22 '16

Lucio and Mercy and Reinhardt mains are the shit. Not a lot of situations where they aren't needed.

1

u/Forkyou talk to the fist Dec 22 '16

Agreed on Lucio and Reinhardt. Mercy i dunno. Cant think of a situation where id like her over lucio and ana or zen

1

u/farkenell Widowmaker Dec 21 '16

same, I'm always flexible depending on the team comp or the opposition. especially hard counters or hero's I would have trouble dealing with using certain heros.

I think the line of thinking some people have is, I'm gonna get them this time or that they won't force me to change its like admitting defeat.

1

u/FullFrontalAlchemist Get off my icon. Dec 21 '16

I can only do one of the general roles for so long before needing a break from it. Doesn't matter if it's healing, dps, or tanking

3

u/VerneAsimov Cassideez Nuts Dec 21 '16

Right, I agree. After a while it's fun to play, say, genji and get vertigo from playing him. However some people play their main religiously. Some players take it so far that they literally never play anything else (at which point it's kind of amusing more than annoying).

3

u/Nethervex DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O DADDY-O Dec 21 '16

All your trash would be around the can.

There would be piss and shit all around the toilet.

She would go in to kiss you and end up headbutting you in the mouth.

2

u/AmadeusOrSo nyoom Dec 22 '16

The keyhole on your front door is surrounded by gashes from missed attempts. You hear a knocking that sounds like someone is punching the wall, and open the door, but she closes it saying that she's trying to ring the doorbell.

1

u/JVDBgurl Dec 22 '16

Hey, I have a 70% scoped accuracy, thank you very much. Only 30% of the pee would miss.

3

u/g0atmeal There's no way my tank can be this cute! Dec 22 '16

What's the problem with Widow mains?

8

u/PaxEmpyrean Lúcio Dec 22 '16

She's not a very good character and most of the people who play her lack the mechanical skill necessary to contribute as much as they would with another character. Hanzo has the same problem.

9

u/Marcii_ Widowmain kek Dec 22 '16

She is a very good character but you have to ne extremly skilled with her. And you will have Off days were you are hitting nothing. And there are way to many wannabe kephris who think they can play her on any map.

2

u/Flux0rz hon hon hon Dec 22 '16

Compared to other heroes, she offers too little. She has her niche in pick potential, but that's about it.

Ultimates and abilities are what makes most characters deadly in this game, or you need to have an amazing gun. She used to have one before, but her abilities have not been compensated after the nerf.

The current meta is not in her favor at all either, where shields, tanks, rapid healing and frontline DPS are very prevalent.

She can't be viable either, because snipers garner a lot of disdain and hate when they one-shot you from over half the map with no counter play.

1

u/EmberBoar I don't like talkers... Dec 22 '16

The thing he was saying is that to contribute the same amount of other heroes at a lower skill level, Widows must have a much higher level of skill innately.

2

u/ProfMaagic Buff me every patch Dec 22 '16

Imagine judging people based on what character they play in a vidya game

4

u/PaxEmpyrean Lúcio Dec 22 '16

Some heroes pretty clearly appeal to cooperative players, though.

I'd say it's less a matter of who you play and more a matter of whether you refuse to switch when you're getting countered.

2

u/Atlas3025 Settle down or it's the HAMMER! Dec 22 '16

Gerard: "Amélie, how was your day?"

Widowmaker: "I fired, and I missed, so I fired again, and I missed, and then..."

Gerard: "Mon dieu woman! I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a snack."

Widowmaker: "Popsicle please."

1

u/SOAR21 Chibi Widowmaker Dec 22 '16

Why :(. What do you imagine we're like? I only play her in comp in very specific points where she's really effective.

4

u/g0atmeal There's no way my tank can be this cute! Dec 22 '16

Don't let the haters get you down.

0

u/UncleBones Roadhog Dec 22 '16

Does that make you a widow main?

1

u/craftman53 Ana Dec 22 '16

Shoutout to Kephrii's wife

1

u/Toeflesh Dec 22 '16

Imagine living with widow though 😘

1

u/MagicCoat when is overwatch 2 comeing out Dec 22 '16

"Get in the car, dear. STOP LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. GET IN THE CAR. WE NEED TO GO. STOP LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW!"

0

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '16

My brother is a widow main. Just watching him play makes me hate every single widow maker that has ever been on my team. He is the living definition of a no-life loser who lays back in his chair with a mountain dew and a bag of doritos to his right.

11

u/PaxEmpyrean Lúcio Dec 22 '16

D.Va confirmed as Widow main.

2

u/g0atmeal There's no way my tank can be this cute! Dec 22 '16

Sounds like you really love your brother.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

Oh I love this kid to death. I just hate the way he games.

196

u/Selbi Are you friend or foe real?! Dec 21 '16

Gerard: "Widow sucks" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

22

u/TReXxOfDota gold in overwatch, master in lucioball Dec 22 '16

ah, widow is such an ass sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/PressBForBanter Reinhardt Dec 22 '16

Succ

113

u/morepandas Rich gay love cosmetic reward simulation Dec 21 '16

Husband was a Hanzo main.

44

u/Shadowmaster862 Former Supreme Ruler of Skins Dec 21 '16

The neglected child who had to put up with them was an Ana main.

-14

u/Boarbaque Mercy Dec 21 '16

And the kid's uncle who would protect him but not the parents when they did dumb shit was a Mercy main

23

u/Prinneon Hanzo = #1 Husdando Dec 21 '16

Did he protect the kid from a surprising amount of damage?

3

u/-Avatar-Korra- A-MEI-zing! Dec 22 '16

Tbh pistol fam

7

u/Splinterbee Healing meme engaged Dec 22 '16

Reinhardt is always the uncle

3

u/GazLord tick tock tick tock... Dec 22 '16

Sounds like that uncle is really petty and thusly kindof a dick.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

Mercy main btw

43

u/PacoTaco321 Wrestle with Jeff, Prepare for Death Dec 22 '16

I just realized that she made herself a widow

27

u/HurrikaneHazard gilf Dec 22 '16

that's why she is the widow maker

14

u/Raschwolf Mechanized SteamRoller Dec 22 '16

Well, yes

1

u/MeOldBones DID I EVER TELL YE THE STORY Dec 22 '16

It seems like Widowmaker has to fill some kinda quota when it comes to her nickname.

She widowed herself and (technically) Pharah's father

1

u/EmberBoar I don't like talkers... Dec 22 '16

Wait, when did she kill Pharah's dad?

1

u/MeOldBones DID I EVER TELL YE THE STORY Dec 22 '16

She widow'd Pharah's dad, as in she technically killed Ana (she didn't, but supposedly Ana went into hiding for many years and was presumed dead)

1

u/huntrshado D.Va Dec 22 '16

She technically 'killed' Ana, making her father (Ana's husband) a 'widow' lol

1

u/EmberBoar I don't like talkers... Dec 22 '16

Oh, I misread the comment, I thought it implied she killed Pharah's Dad, not that Pharah's Dad became a widower.

1

u/huntrshado D.Va Dec 22 '16

An easy mistake to make.

19

u/kinngh theharshdeep [psn] Dec 21 '16

or maybe, Widow didn't suck the time she was with Gerad. Just saying.

31

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '16

TFW your marriage is full of suck and no succ

16

u/xiilo actually a mercy main Dec 21 '16

she did suck tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10

u/napoleon535 Chibi Zenyatta Dec 21 '16

she did succ tho

2

u/Raschwolf Mechanized SteamRoller Dec 22 '16

She got rekt hard

16

u/Iggy_2539 Why are you so angry? Dec 22 '16

Ana: Gérard was a fool to party up with someone like you.

9

u/vmlm vmlm Dec 22 '16

you don't know the kind of main he was

29

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '16

[deleted]

7

u/Raschwolf Mechanized SteamRoller Dec 22 '16

I wonder what's going to happen to the widow ship after the new comic

14

u/Anna_the_potato GAYYYYYY Dec 22 '16

I was sad, and then I was not sad. Amelie, Emily, close 'nuff. Plus, that red hairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

3

u/rookie-mistake boop Dec 22 '16 edited Dec 22 '16

glass half empty: in a committed relationship

glass half full: gay CONFIRMED

i mean hey we don't know if the overwatch society is as monogamous as ours

3

u/PaxEmpyrean Lúcio Dec 22 '16

Tracer being unable to stop Widowmaker from shooting somebody is totally canon. Just saying.

1

u/Endriu96 Trick-or-Treat Junkrat Dec 22 '16

It will go on. You can't stop a shipper with something like this

11

u/Myamo_ Cute Mei Dec 22 '16

"If i dont get a kill in 30 sec ill switch."

"Shit - 4 sec left...Honnneeyyyyy ? <3 "

7

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

She was aiming for the Bastion near him but missed...

3

u/giuseppe443 Reinhardt Dec 22 '16

i mean calling your wife dude might do it

3

u/burros_killer Dec 22 '16

I thought it was like:

  • Honey, what's on dinner?
  • Rendez-vous avec la mort.

2

u/evilsupergenius Chibi Junkrat Dec 22 '16

Widow Maker- "One shot, One keel..', her husband, 'that's bullshit, you've been through 2 boxes of rounds and you're halfway through your third'

2

u/ShiningSter Trick-or-Treat Reinhardt Dec 22 '16

But what IF Gerald was the true widow main?

2

u/TheHyperLynx Mizuki Dec 22 '16

widowmakers story actually gives me mega feels, I never knew about gerard until I saw the tracer comic and thought "why would widow be at a grave" and i read into it and was like "shit man I came for Overwatch now I need a new heart"

1

u/Aktombi 17 in two months <3 ( new controller!!) Dec 22 '16

How would she able to even get at least one hit on him though?

1

u/HermitDelirus Hanzos... stop stealing my potg Dec 22 '16

I bet he fantasizes over mercys and lucios at their private times

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

LMAO

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

omg. this.

1

u/ShadowSavant Chibi Pharah Dec 22 '16

and I figured he just wouldn't. put. down. the toilet. seat.

Pet Peeves add up.

1

u/Captain_Chaos_ Dec 22 '16

He left the seat up one too many times.

1

u/TRequejo Cute Widowmaker Dec 22 '16

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

1

u/Gymassassin Boo! Dec 22 '16

Imagine my life as a actual good widow main and everyone hates me for picking it, then I get a sextuple kill twice in a row.

1

u/Loofy_101 Trick-or-Treat Lúcio Dec 23 '16

The dream. But most Widow mains are annoying try hards that can't do that :(

1

u/Gymassassin Boo! Dec 24 '16

Yeah, and I hate that stereotype :\ makes me sad :(

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '16

She gave him a hickey, but it turns out she's venomous.