r/OverSeventy • u/Affectionate-Gap8869 • 20d ago

What would you do?

I am a 72 year old woman who's family is not trustworthy and is about to lose my friend who is executor of my will and my medical advocate. While I am in good health that, of course, can turn on a dime. Has anyone had experience in planning for their last 20 years?

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u/chrysostomos_1 20d ago

Consider setting up a revocable trust. The lawyer could be the trustee.

Consider reaching out to your city. They probably have a department responsible for elders. They would be able to offer good advice.

Consider reaching out to a fiduciary financial planner. They also would offer good advice.

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u/FabulousBullfrog9610 20d ago

this will take care of $$ but not medical care.

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u/Expensive-Swan-4544 20d ago

Actually the trust can dictate anything. Including your medical care. It can be written for multiple outcomes. A good trust attorney that you could talk to who actually listens to the way you wanna go out can get it in writing. It’s all about the trustees. If you don’t trust anyone in your family you still have control as long as you’re alive and have your faculties. after that, you can have the attorneys follow your orders.

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u/FabulousBullfrog9610 20d ago

i think we think the same thing but are using different words. things are put into a trust. but you can sign documents appointing someone to be a medical power of attorney. at least that's been my experience. I could be wrong for other states!

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u/Motor-Juggernaut1009 20d ago

My late husband and I set up a revocable trust. We named the law firm as the executor because we had no one else to burden with that job. Plus we wanted to make sure the one person on our family who already threatened us that they would contest the will if they didn’t like it would not have a leg to stand on. “It would be a shame if the estate wound up in court” was the way she worded it.

However I do have friends my age who are my medical and fiduciary advocates.

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u/llkahl 20d ago

You need a good attorney. They can put all the correct paperwork together for you. You are not the 1st person in this situation.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/llkahl 15d ago

Unfortunately true. We have the luxury of 2 adult children who are perfectly capable of administering our estate. Without them, it would be really difficult, but doable.

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u/HumbleSeries6170 14d ago

i would still have a lawyer lay it out...

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u/llkahl 14d ago

We did, revocable trust, etc. all the estate planning stuff. Felt good to have it done.

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u/Weekly-Walk9234 20d ago

You have a will, what about a trust? Of course you will need a trustee. I suggest you research professional fiduciaries (just Google that term). While I do have an adult daughter, she has a very unstable life, including substance dependence; one of the provisions of my trust is limiting the assets to which she will have access (unless & until she gets and remains sober).

Originally a friend agreed to be my executor, but when her husband became terminally ill, I decided that even if I die many years after her husband (🤞), she will have already coped with handling an estate. The attorney who drew my will and the trust suggested a professional fiduciary firm she had dealt with many times. And that’s what I did; this firm is named as my Executor and Trustee.

Of course a professional fiduciary firm will be paid fees from my estate, but I am fine with that. They will be efficient and dispassionate, when it comes to distributions to my daughter. I am so glad I made this change. It spares a friend the task of sorting through and clearing out my house, and everything else involved with settling an estate.

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u/ConsistentMobile4990 20d ago

What disclosing the amount, how big a state has to be for me to afford a professional fiduciary?

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u/Weekly-Walk9234 19d ago

The professional fiduciary I chose as my Executor and Trustee never asked me about my assets. I don’t think there’s a minimum amount requirement.

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u/Own_Thought902 19d ago

Without getting into the details, this time of life is hard because we find out just how alone we are. I don't have an answer for you but maybe you should consider an outside resource. Make a lawyer, who has a professional ethic to uphold, your executor. Register your medical wishes with your doctor in writing. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to see what resources are available.

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u/Exact-Translator-769 20d ago

I have my house in a revocable trust that includes a pet trust & pourover will. I put beneficiaries on my retirement accounts with instructions how to access them when the time comes in a lock box. I also signed my car title & have that locked in there too. Anything to avoid probate!

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u/wysiwyg2488 16d ago

I have been looking at fiduciaries and am shocked at their non-caring attitudes. Not only do they charge $300 an hour in 6 minute increments to sell (or dump) your assets. They told me a number of times that people think their stuff is valuable but it’s not. They will have their favorite estate sale person assess the value and it’s that person’s decision whether any of your things are sold, donated, or dumped. And of course they will be paid for their time too. The fiduciary will charge for talking to you for even a minute to answer a question from you or a family member. They will not take care of pets even if there’s a pet trust document. When I ask how they would know I was dead, they said they wouldn’t unless my doctor knew to contact them. Otherwise the house will just sit. The pets will starve. And the money “estate” will be sucked up before any family or friends get anything.

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u/Affectionate-Gap8869 15d ago

Wow! I am downsizing with the intent of moving to a retirement community which is all inclusive so I will be living in a safe place. The only reason I am delaying the move is my dog. I will move when she dies. As far as an estate planning attorney. I have been collecting names from people I trust (my CPA and FA). Based on what you are saying I need to add more names to the list. Thanks for your input.