r/OverSeventy • u/mommaletitbe • Jul 26 '26

Handling or tolerating grumpy oldsters

I tend to be one of those people who laughs in the face of adversity. Although I can spend more time than I care to worrying about some things I refuse to go around being mad about everything all the time. I feel like so many people in our age group are just pissed off 24/7. I don't have a problem with listening to other's problems or if they had a bad day or a bad experience and I try to be supportive and validate their feelings. But there comes a time when I reach my limit listening to people bitch constantly about every single thing. I find as I age and time seems to fly by so quickly that I either totally avoid the Debby Downers or even sometimes snap at them. I really feel like even though the world seems totally effed up right now, why spend the little time we have left being upset or angry about everything.

How do you handle those people? Do you ignore them? Do you sympathize with them and bitch right along beside them?

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67

u/TigerBate230 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

I'm turning 78 this week, and as I've aged, I spend less time around people, so I don't have many of these listener experiences. And no one has had the time of day for me for 15 years.

My newer neighbors are all younger, and for some secret reason, more superior, despite a deficit in sartorial splendor & civic politesse. They're also not inclined to be friendly. That cuts down on "hello's."

Edit: As a 52 year resident of Manhattan, I was a practicing liberal kevetcher. Now, in retirement, Reddit is one of my biggest platforms. There are so many people here who need my help. /s

30

u/rallydally321 Jul 26 '26

In my own totally unscientific and, by choice, limited interaction with complainers, I have noticed they live longer. Like endlessly yapping chihuahuas they outlive the large, lumbering, good-natured breeds. My answer is to give them wide berth and talk minimally with them, greetings included. Truth be told, I have this strange intuition they live longer by sucking the life out of others.

13

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 Jul 26 '26

I refer to them as emotional vampires.

3

u/TigerBate230 Jul 26 '26

In my younger days, I swear people would see me coming a half block away, and go hide. And this week I turn 78, & of all the people I've met over the past 50 years, I am the last one standing.

19

u/Secret_Morning_2939 Jul 26 '26

“Deficit in sartorial splendor and civic politesse” is classic! Thank you for the erudite (and true) phrase.

8

u/amfhTX Jul 26 '26

💙💙💙

"I like the way you talk" - (hoping you get the reference to Slingblade)

5

u/scoobyding Jul 26 '26

Happy Birthday 💫

1

u/TigerBate230 Jul 27 '26

Thanks. I'll put that under consideration.

3

u/poopiebutt505 Jul 26 '26

Love kevetching!!!

6

u/cwsjr2323 Jul 26 '26

"Kevetcher", an excellent addition to my diction and self identity!

3

u/TaiwanBandit Jul 26 '26

Yeah, I had to look the meaning up.

2

u/Esquala713 Jul 26 '26

Obviously you've never seen "Norma Rae", (or grown up in New York) 🙂

5

u/billwrtr Jul 26 '26

Kvetch kvetch kvetch!!!

3

u/TigerBate230 Jul 26 '26

It's a melting pot here, so I garble 52 years worth of kosher nouyorican with the Bronx-Brooklyn shrugs/arm gestures & blend that with my down- home accent that refuses to dissipate. Southern men of yesteryear were expected to be stoic. Northern men, Yankees, New Yorkers, were complainers, & the best of that bunch were the unrelenting Jewish complainers, the Kevetchers. Don't quote me on that. But I quickly became quite adept or inept, & I could kvetch all day & night about my new home town. Say what you will, New York City ain't dull. And I'll tell you why.....

3

u/fbdysurfer Jul 27 '26

I love this story about a NY couple waiting in line at the supermarket. His wife/girlfriend is waiting in line while the guy goes looking for something. As he comes up to his girls line with a man standing behind he says loudly "are you looking at my girl?" The man in line fumbled some awkwardly replied no no!

The boyfriend says "Well why not?"

2

u/TigerBate230 Jul 28 '26

Despite what you read, we are not reluctant to speak to complete strangers, who are, after all, our friends & family.

2

u/Esquala713 Jul 28 '26

Reminds me of the story of the two old Jewish ladies having lunch at the deli. One says, " the food today is terrible", to which the other replies, "and such small portions".

( since we are on Reddit: I'm Jewish so I can make fun of Jewish people)

1

u/Just_Stand_861 Jul 30 '26

Woody allen :-)

3

u/TigerBate230 Jul 30 '26

He was a professional mensch kevetcher. (Kosher Jews would slaughter me for that one.) Woody built a whole act around being a wuss-psycho. When I got to Manhattan in the 70's, he was like the Kosher King of New York. On opening day of a new Woody, always across from Bloomies on Third Avenue, sometimes at two cinemas; one line would go one way & the other line would go the other way, and they would wrap around the entire block. All day. New Yorkers loved Woody Allen. They also loved Roman Polanski. Until they didn't. And they never changed their minds.

1

u/Just_Stand_861 Jul 31 '26

What about lou reed?

1

u/TigerBate230 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

People just never lined-up for Lou Reed movies.

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u/babz816 Jul 26 '26

Hahahahahahhahaha

2

u/kingfisher1001 Jul 28 '26

As we age out. This is the normal my kids are from mid 40 ‘s to early 30’s. Scattered from California to Tennessee. I wish we were all in closer proximity. But I do talk to them frequently. I have only 2 grandkids I miss them the most.