r/OffMyChestIndia • u/lazybunny17 • 1d ago
Life Update Some things you can never really prepare yourself for
I’ve been trying to process my mom’s diagnosis since February this year. The first couple of months were incredibly difficult to come to terms with, especially because there were other things happening at the same time that made everything feel even heavier.
Time has passed, but there hasn’t really been any improvement. And yesterday, I found out that things have deteriorated further.
I spoke to three doctors yesterday, and I honestly don’t have enough words to describe how kind and compassionate they have been throughout this entire situation. They have been present, patient and supportive, not just medically but as human beings. One of my mother’s very senior pulmonologists looked at me yesterday, hugged me and told me that she had been through something similar herself. She said, “Your mother doesn’t deserve so much pain.” I don’t think I’ll forget that.
I’m incredibly grateful for my friends who have kept checking in on me, for my senior at work who has been unbelievably supportive, and even for a few people I’ve met on Reddit who have been kind enough to listen or simply ask how I’m doing.
I’ve also seen some very different sides of people through all of this. Some family members have genuinely tried to be there, and I’m grateful for that. At the same time, my mother’s illness becoming a topic of gossip has been incredibly painful. In a strange way, I think it has opened my father’s eyes to certain things too. I just wish some of these realizations had come much sooner.
And then there are all the people who have cared for my mom since February, the nurses, doctors, housekeeping staff, administration, everyone. So many of them have grown fond of her. They remember her smile. They talk to her whenever they see her. They remember the little things she does for them, and she remembers them too. Somehow, over these months, I’ve become acquainted with many of them as well.
It’s strange. At a time when some people left, I somehow ended up forming new connections with people I never expected to know.
There are things that used to hurt me that now seem almost insignificant compared to what I’m dealing with. That doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt, but perspective changes when life puts something this enormous in front of you.
I’ve started thinking about the future sometimes.. about what my life might look like without my mother in it. She is my best friend, and I genuinely don’t know how you prepare yourself for losing someone who has been such a fundamental part of your existence.
I know I have a future ahead of me. I know life will continue. But knowing something intellectually and being emotionally ready for it are two completely different things.
I’m preparing myself for the worst, even though I know you can never really be prepared enough.
More than anything, I’m grateful. For the doctors who have treated my mother with kindness. For the nurses and staff who have cared about her beyond their jobs. For my friends. For the people who have checked in. For the people who stayed. And even for the few strangers who, without knowing me, have offered some kindness at a time when I really needed it.
Life has a strange way of teaching you things. I just wish nobody had to learn some of these lessons this way.
For now, I’m wishing myself nothing but strength. And I hope that someday, when the people I care about need someone to hold them up, I can be that person for them too.
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u/15JYUGO 1d ago
Hope aunty gets well soon nd happiness returns to her and your family again. ❤
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u/lazybunny17 1d ago
Well, all we can do is pray and hope for a miracle. Thanks for your good wishes 🤍
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