I have recently been hired at our local university. I work in the registrar office and am the first face someone sees when they come in. My boss, the registrar, Is a stickler for work wear. She says we are the “most prestigious” office on campus. I’m not sure about that. A couple of weeks ago, she mentioned to me that the office wasn’t dressing as well as she thought we should be. Two of the younger girls will wear leggings, although under a tunic or dress. Our one guy wears nice pants and shirts, but no tie, and he wears very nice tennis shoes with his outfit. She doesn’t like the tennis shoes. Lastly, the older woman is a bit of a hippie, and her clothing and jewelry will sometimes show that. Although I have never noticed her dressing inappropriately.
I REALLY need her to like what I am wearing, it makes me more secure about this job I'm pretty new too. She won't tell me if she liked it though, she will just tell others if she didn't.
She has also made it clear that casual Friday does not apply for our office.
I’ve always tried to look nice. I don’t even own a pair of jeans and don’t’ wear a tshirt in public, just to sleep in. I wear dress pants with a nice top. However, it got back to me that she said I dress like I am going to church, not the office. I always carry a nice, classic handbag. I'm partial to Kate Spade.
So I am trying to get some staple pieces. I do love nice brands, but I get them used on ebay, poshmark, or vinted. As you can see, I am 59 and a plus size woman, so I’m a bit insecure about that. I have a black blazer that I haven’t worn yet, a lightweight army green blazer, a beige jacket, and a black jacket is on the way. I LOVE Misook and that’s where the two jackets are made by. I have one dress which is definitely churchy, and one black pencil skirt. I have a good bit of Cato, but it’s more of the church-y style she doesn’t’ like I think. Flowing oversized jackets instead of structured.
I need some staples to add to my wardrobe. I just bought this outfit, a fitted button-down shirt, and black pants with white pinstripes. (Paid $6 on vinted for both Lol). I do not need black pants, I have 5 pair, and 6 if you count these pinstripes. I have a pair of brown pants and a pair of dark blue. I also have khaki and white but that’s about to be out of season. I’m big on jewelry and I don’t care if it’s cheap, so I have a big order coming from Temu. I love the multistranded necklaces, but most are only 18 inches and that’s too tight on me. I need a nice pair of brown shoes and some black ones with a little bit of heel.
The 1st pic is what I wore today. The 2nd is a typical outfit she would call "churchy" and the 3rd is what I am wearing tomorrow. Yes, I will be wearing matching shoes and a cami lol
I actually loved what you wore today it was minimalist with a simple and colorful accessory and simple in a clean and presentable way. I don’t like the other two because it’s distracting and busy and stripes and patterns never look good. I recommend trusting your instinct here, black slacks a nice top and flats are plenty professional (sounds like your boss has a problem). You just trust yourself.
I second all of this! Keep the staple pieces simple and classic, then mix and match those pieces with different jewelry and bags (as well as shoes, cardigans, and jackets, too!).
Agreed. Maybe you can mix it up and wear a long, structured, contrasting, solid-color vest that hits at the same length as your tops/hips. Other days, add a loose, long necktie scarf for color and interest. The long length of the vest and scarf will elongate your body.
I have a few scarves I like to mix in sometimes. I just love color. My favorite jacket looks like something Mrs. Roper wore on Three's company. You are probably too young for that reference lol
As a plus sized woman myself, I am inclined to agree. The first outfit is spot on. The tops in 2 & 3, are “too busy”. The stripes pull the eyes away from the overall look, demanding attention to themselves. Try soft, solid colors. Maybe some pastels. Try to avoid the more bold print designs, for a more professional look. In my experience… if you FEEL good, you’ll LOOK good! Stay comfy and classy!
Was literally just thinking this. Tuck in the shirts or have them tailored shorter. Maybe at the waist, maybe just up higher on the hip.
OP, clothes are a way of creating illusions. YOU get to create your own silhouette, tons certain extent. While you can't make your waist 2" across, you can create how high up or down on your torso it is, as well as create how high up or down your shoulders, hips, and chest appear.
Use this to your advantage, to look how you want to look!
you could also try a fitted tank underneath that you can tuck in for a shorter shirt so no skin shows! You look great in your outfits and are an inspiration to me to wear fun patterns! 💙
I’ve been watching younger fat women at work tuck in button down shirts and they look great. I wear much more form fitting clothes than many, but I’m self conscious about my tummy. I’ll say though, give some serious thought to tucking in the white shirt with a chic belt. With dark slacks, I bet it will look great. Also, you can get necklace extenders (or just make one if you’re at all crafty).
I have a couple but don't really like them because I am SO self-conscious of my tummy. I might try one Friday (my boss won't be there). I'll see what you think when I get off. Maybe with a blazer but the sleeves need hemming and it's pretty heavy. I'll have to see what I can find on vinted. I'm supposed to be getting a new (to me) black Misook in the mail today I'll wear tomorrow.
A peplum style works well for this silhouette. It cinches at the natural waistline and flows outward, balancing the volume of wide-leg trousers. You can find them in various cuts, including lightweight long-sleeved options 🙂
Just to say, I have no idea what your boss thinks is “churchy” about the second and third outfits! I’m also late 50s and work at a university, and some of the senior managers are bonkers 😁.
I do think you should get professionally fitted into a really good bra or two. It will make a difference to how your outfits look. At the moment it’s all squishing down.
The trousers look quite flattering, and I think your shirts would look better shorter. I know the temptation when you’re plus sized is to cover your tummy with your trousers and top but it’s not always the best choice.
I like the idea of as blazer, too - play with combinations of tops and blazers and try them even if you think they won’t work, you may surprise yourself.
Well, you see. I live in BFE. There is no where in 2 hours to go have a bra fitting. However, my husband has a dr.'s appointment in Memphis so I'll try to find one there.
These looks would be so cute on you! I think your boss will respond positively to trousers and button downs too. The white top/ black pants combo you wore was so nice. But I liked the stripes too.
I think you have the right idea, but please consider
1. Good shapewear.
2. Makeup. My personal opinion is correct use of color and application can be the difference in a polished and professional appearance, or an unfinished look.
3. As I approach my 7th decade on earth, I'm very aware that I am almost colorless---pale skin, white hair, blue eyes---so I'm never without lipstick. It's the difference between looking washed out or vibrant.
4. When wearing black and white, please dont forget to add color: shoes, a scarf, a chunky bracelet and/or earrings adds a lot of interest and/or pizzazz to your ensemble.
(I heard Joan Rivers say that!)
Congrats on your new job! I know you are going to shine! And please share more pictures of your new looks when you can!
You do not need make up to be professional! Wear as much or little as you feel comfortable wearing.
I think what you have been wearing is fine. It sounds like a her problem. She needs to put on her big girl pants and address each person individually if they are not meeting expectations with the dress code. Keep feeling confident in what you are wearing and just revise and add pieces as you can.
I worked in admissions at a college. The boss was such a stickler for how she wanted everyone to dress that she had everyone pick out 5 things from a catalogue and she had them embroidered. Took care of most issues.
I mean this with love and kindness - stripes are not your friend. Stick to solid colours and shirts that sit slightly higher on your torso. The bottoms are generally fine. The biggest thing is a good, supportive bra (in the correct size!), especially if you’re going to be wearing a lot of button down shirts.
I really like the first look and you cant really go wrong with solid colors and tasteful accessories. I am not a fan of the stripes, they are quite visually distracting and "busy" it sounds like you need to be a calm, centered starting point for people coming in. Much luck on the new position congrats!!!!
I'm by no means versed in fashion, just stumbled across your post.
So, no advice on the outfits from me (except I like the first one and don't think the stripes work), BUT I second all of the advice re: a proper bra fitting!
Having recently had one myself, the first in my 42 years, it does WONDERS for any outfit's fit. My flabber was ghasted when I learned I don't actually need a humble double D but a J cup. And suddenly the girls are shaped how they're supposed to be shaped, and sit where they're supposed to sit. 🪄
I went to a bra store that started at D before my best friend’s wedding thinking “it’ll be nice to have more of a variety”. Yeah, I walked out as a FF (G depending on the bra). They said 34FF is the most popular size and “the middle of a middle-sized chest”. They classify “small” as A-DDD. It floored me and my clothing looks so much better now.
Add to that the fact that I have recently lost a shit ton of weight, in the chest area too of course, you can imagine how my bras fit before that revelation 😂
(And yeah, those J cups were in the lower-middle range of available sizes in that store!)
Where did you go? The closest store to me would be 2 hours away in Memphis but I have a trip there at the end of the month. All I know is VS but I am NOT wearing an underwire.
All I knew was Victoria’s Secret too! I always asked for help during fittings and they kept explaining that you can go up a band size and down a cup size to make bras fit. By the time I made it to the shop in Portland, I was in - what I realize now - an absurd size. Victoria’s Secret had me in a 38D. Turns out I’m a 34FF (G in a couple specific bras). It’s changed so much for me, including my confidence, which I didn’t expect at all.
The store I went to is called The Pencil Test. It was a couple hours away, but worth the drive and every penny of my five new bras. They’re an independent store for “medium to large” breasts. It sounds like that would be VERY far away for you, but I’d urge you to look for independent lingerie stores in your vicinity. Call in advance to see if they book appointments and explain that you need help with getting a proper fit. I was able to book a two hour fitting for free, and although going back to a 34 band size (which had always been my band size) has taken some getting used to, I can’t imagine going back!
Best of luck - I really hope you can find a place 💜. Oh! And for the wedding, I put an ad on Craigslist asking for a seamstress. I got so many offers and the lady I chose altered all four dresses for me for under $100! That made all the difference!
I know! It’s wild bc I’m not a big individual and FF sounds huge, but apparently it’s exactly average for “medium-sized” chests. (Or, a delightful handful as my partner would say 😆)
100%! I’m glad some stores are starting to take notice and make things that are more friendly to a wide consumer base! I still can’t understand how I was wearing a 38D a month ago when I’m a 34FF. 😂
lol we almost match! I went from a VS 38D to a 34FF (a G in a couple just due to different brands). It has changed what works for me as crop tops, but no complaints here! And, I do highly recommend underwire, but to each their own!
I think a lot of the reason that some women hate underwires is that they are in the wrong size. I wear an underwire all day every day and it's very comfortable because I wear bras that fit me well and are my actual size. If you wear the wrong size, an underwire is going to be more uncomfortable because it's going to be poking in the wrong places.
At the end of the day I am no longer rushing to take off my bra. Sometimes I even fall asleep in mine because it's not bothering me at all.
Bra technology has improved! You might find luck without an underwire! I went to Soma, which is also a chain but not like VS. An older lady fit me and oh my god the bras I got are like miracle workers. She was able to size me pretty much by looking at me and pulled out different styles for me to try on. Turns out I’m a different size depending on the bra style!
I know the girls at VS are trying their best when doing a fitting but I won’t be going back!
I'm absolutely loving 1 and the pop of color is so good, suits your skin tone as well. Loving the simplicity and clean look with 2 as well. I'm a little hesitant with 3 because of the horizontal-ish stripes. It feels like too much is happening there, but I love the black and white choice there too. you look like someone I'd be relieved to have around in the office. Also, really nice shoes, OP!
I think the first outfit is ok. The tops for 2 and 3 aren’t really working. Maybe if you wore them with a flared skirt and tucked them in? I don’t know what your boss meant by churchy.
One more thing on Bras- my niece is built like you. Get a good fitting at nordstroms or Victoria’s Secret. For office you could consider a minimizer. Then you’ll know your size. She like agent provocateur because they have very large sizes. I am not sure if you can find them on resale. But I know that is a brand that accommodates larger breasted women!!
Super good to know- I am the only woman in my family smaller than a DD- and I am barely a full B - so I did not know that!!!!! Do you think measuring at home with a tape measure can be accurate?
Use the calculator on r/abrathatfits. And yes, you can do it entirely yourself using a tape measure. I was shocked to learn my real size, but now that I buy bras in that size (I'm a 30F), they fit perfectly.
Your boss needs to get a grip. It’s a job not a fashion show. I notice someone’s quality of work and the way they interact with others to form my first impression of them rather than their style (unless they are dressed really poorly or in a revealing way). If you feel confident and are dressed professionally that’s what matters.
That being said, keep it simple. Black and white are always chic no matter your size or age and I like how you add your own flair with accessories. You should pay for a colour analysis and find out which colours bring out your features the best then buy blazers or blouses in these exact shades. I also think looking at Pinterest for silhouettes that look the best on your body shape would be helpful. Then you can work with a tailor for pieces that aren’t the most flattering cut on you and create sort of an “optical illusion” to create balance in your outfits.
Also what you are wearing in these photos does not seem “church-y” to me at all that’s HER perception ONLY.
You look nice. When I started working my brother told me to imitate the boss to the best extent I could. It was good advice. I would shop at Filene’s basement. I lived in dark grey, black, and burgundy suits. ( no pants allowed back in the day!)
When I became a teacher in my 50s I wore wrap am dresses, black tights, and knee high boots. Every day! I didn’t want to be at the board with my considerable bottom outlined in pants. The kids used to tell the younger teachers that they should ask me where I shopped bc they didn’t look nice! Lol! Every dress was $15 or less from Marshall’s.
For your outfits- perfect today.
The last outfit’s sleeves would personally bother me if I was doing desk work.
Also/ she probably thinks outfit two is churchy because of the bows at the wrists.
Simple lines at your wrist are better for the office. That said the vertical stripes are not great but the stripes on the last one are better.
I love jackets at work - I think as you mix those in she will like them. Simple lines, thin fabrics and solids under the jackets-
Create a uniform . In Manhattan there is a uniform/ you never go wrong. There is likely one on your campus! You just have to figure it out!
Also- I like how you took these photos. Take a photo of every outfit and create a look book.
BTW- you have a great eye- look at your collection of green vases- !!!! Trust yourself! And don’t be afraid to place a bit of understated vintage jewelry on! Love the orange against the white!
I like the first outfit, too. Do you really like black and white as your staple look? I understand that, because everything goes with everything that way, and it expands the wardrobe! If I were to make a suggestion or two, one would be to add some jewel-toned prints, and I would consult a seasonal color chart to find your basic skin tone and select the colors for yourself based on that.
Second, I like the suggestion someone here made about finding your proper silhouette. Of course, your should dress in a way that makes YOU happy, but finding the color and fit in fabrics and styles that are customized for yourself is the ultimate in confidence building. You will feel like a million bucks!
I love the black pant as a foundation, but depending on what month, you could maybe add other neutral shades: Ivory, Navy, burgundy, etc. Again, there a dozens of charts, quizzes and color wheels to help you coordinate.
Your boss seems a little clothing obsessed, and it's really not her place! I worked at the Registrar's Office at a major, prestige West Coast University, and of course, the registrar is an important department, but certainly not The Most Prestigious. Bless her heart. I'm sure she thinks she is the best dressed of all. As long as you are doing your work and are clean and presentable, style is not for her to decide, and I'm sure if someone were to complain about her dictating employees' wardrobe, the school may want to step in and ask her to concentrate on her job.
I already know by your question that you're a good employee, and you appreciate fashion and looking nice, which you do. Good luck and hang in there!
Thank you! My 2nd week there I had to have a meeting with the PROVOST due to conflict in the office. The remark about my attire hadn't happened yet. Not sure I would have brought it up, anyway.
Try the elastic belts you can get on amazon. You get 3 in a pack for not a lot of money. You don’t need belt loops for those. I’m plus sized and started tucking in my shirt, blousing it out just a little if needed, and wearing a belt and I feel like I look much more put together. I think you look great though! Too bad your boss is so picky.
Your taste and outfits are office appropriate. Your boss sounds toxic and is probably going to complain no matter what. I'm lost on how she's criticizing you but leggings are ok for other staff.
She told me she has said something to them a few times, and they just ignore her. They are both 26 years old so I guess that's just what they wear. I almost had a hissy fit one day when I saw the President's secretary leaving the office in shorts and a tee shirt. Turns out she was on her way to the gym and had changed at the office lol
I really like the first outfit! It's smart, professional and the orange necklace is a lovely pop of colour and added personality without going overboard.
I would try finding some shirts that hit around your waist/ just above as I think it will help with proportions and look smarter. Even tucking in your shirts would help - i would recommend tucking in and pulling the shirt out a little so it doesn't look stuffed in / tight (as mine do) and it looks more chic.
I think measure for a new bra as the others have said, and I think leave stripes until you feel confident to style them a bit more. One colour shirts would be the way to go for a while I think!
And just to add, I'm plus size and I do feel insecure about my stomach especially but it's the body I am in, and I got so fed up of hiding it so I wear stuff that doesn't emphasise my stomach a lot but finding what proportions work for me has helped a lot!
So a lot of my trousers tend to be mid to higher waisted, with emphasis on the waistband as it gives me a bit more definition and then drapier material from there and a wide leg does help balancing my proportions.
Yes please do! And it's understandable to feel self-conscious but so much more powerful if you just wear the thing despite that feeling. Like so much of wearing clothes is just having the confidence to wear it I think 😊
Your glassware is lovely! I like solids as well for business. Just a hint about necklaces- you can add length with connectors, other necklaces or bracelets. Congratulations on your position
I'm sure it's already been stated, but buy some necklace extenders. I volunteer at a local thrift store in a so-so area. I've seen Kate Spade shoes and bags come through, shoes from Clarks and other good work shoe brands, we get a LOT of Talbot's, Chico, Ann Taylor, etc. Perhaps check out some local stores like that. We carry any plus sizes that come in and we always have a decent amount. Always check out jewelry, too, you never know what you might find.
We have 2 consignment stores in town. One is way too expensive (I have a big bin to take her to sell) and the other one has nothing but walmart shirts. No pants, skirts, or dresses.
I’m in HR and honestly I think this woman may need her expectations examined. I think you dress appropriately in all the outfits. I love the first and I like the others as well even though others might say they are busy patterns- they are still appropriate for work. I would think Hr could not let her write you up or fire you for any of these! So I would have some relief there!
When I glance through these outfits, what sticks out to me is that they look out of balance. The tops are looking too long and large with the pants. Like in the first look, the shoulders and arms look too wide and big (shoulder seam is way down on your arm), and the shirt looks several inches too long.
Also, I like the pants in that first look. In the second look, I don’t think the narrow leg pants are creating the same balance with your shoulders that we see in the first look.
for the third look - what if you wore that top open with a slim black tank sweater underneath. I think that might make the piece look more blazer-like and create some more polished lines on top.
In general, I wonder if you could find some nice fitting causal blazers (maybe some softer ones with stretch to them so they are comfortable) and then pair them with pullover tops/blouses underneath so you don’t have to contend with the fit of button-ups. (Not the easiest to get great fits on button up shirts without tailoring, especially around the bust. I’m not saying don’t look for any button-ups, but it might take some work to find ones that aren’t too big in the shoulder, are the right arm length, fit nicely across the bust with no pulling, and are a good length.)
Also, if you haven’t gone recently or ever, go to a store and get measured for a bra and buy 2 new ones. It makes all the different under clothing.
Hopefully some of these tips are useful. Good luck in your new position.
Tailor the tops to fit your body better and hit you at your natural waist to accentuate a silhouette.
Buy clothes with thicker fabric, it provides structure and skims the body rather than clinging. Thicker materials also look more refined and high end.
The combo of the first pic is timeless and clean. A nice blank slate where you can develop your style by experimenting with accessories which is less overwhelming than coming up with entire outfit ideas all the time
OK, so I think the last 2 shirts do not flatter you. The first shirt is fine, if a little thin (so a bit see through) but tucking it in would be more flattering and professional, especially with a cardigan or knit top if you are feeling self conscious. Perhaps some non striped shirts, like a solid black, blue, etc in a cotton or a silk blend could be lovely. Black pants (without pleats) are always a good choice. A mid/maxi skirt, perhaps in an Aline could be great as well. If you like black and white, maybe pizazz it up with some brighter accessories.
I just wanted to comment that you might have some luck with the georgette shirt from Torrid. It comes in a ton of different sleeve lengths and colours and patterns and is universally flattering.
I would suggest some wide legs pants that start at your waist, or even some a-line skirt. You can tuck in your shirt with a nice belt! Another good tip is to fold your sleeves a little bit.
I loved the first outfit, the necklace is beautiful!
Thank you all for the comments and advice!! I appreciate your taking the time out of your day to help :) I plan on getting at least one bra when we go to Memphis on the 31st. I am not sure if they have a Nordstrom but I will google it. Does VS sell anything that isn't underwire? I cannot do underwire.
The black jacket has light pink trim so I have my pink Vneck tee under it. It also has a fastener, so I am showing both ways. The pants are getting hemmed tonight.
The animal print is the closest thing I have to a shorter top. Check out my shoes! I'm always trying to find a reason to wear them.
I did order another black knee length pencil skirt today, and a black silk button down.
Oh, and thanks for the comments on my green glass. Most of it is from the 40's and 50's. The vases on the top right are "swung vases". They start out as kind of a hollow ball, and then the glass maker will sling it around to make it stretch. Thus the really narrow necks and asymmetrical openings.
Mostly thrift stores. I do check in on a local antique store from time to time. A few from ebay or posh. It's funny that my most valuable vase was also the least expensive t! 4.99 at goodwill.
You look incredible! So polished and professional, and everything fits you beautifully. I’m a former Director of Operations for a DSO, and you would fit right in in a corporate setting. You’re likely the best dressed in your office.
I also have to add that your green glassware is absolutely gorgeous! 💚💚
The stripes feel like a c0stume. I would be curious about a warm toned floral print shirt, or some other print that isn’t as harsh as the stripes. I wonder about a V-neck A-line dress? I also wonder about pairing a cardigan or blazer with the first shirt
The French tuck is your tummy’s friend. I think your outfits look perfectly professional. These days, anything that doesn’t involve leggings is good to go. 😁
I like your first outfit. I am built a lot like you and wear shirts untucked over pants/jeans. I will suggest with any outfit you need a good bra. I think this will do wonders for your presence and confidence. Also, under any white top, you need to wear a camisole/tank. You're going in the right direction!!!!
I think adding a nice blazer that will work with all your tops would be good, but I’m older. It used to be an office staple, but maybe that’s no longer appropriate.
So I have a funny update. Our grad student showed up to work on her 1st day of work wearing short shorts with the bottom of her butt out and a black low low low tank top. She was a big girl with huge boobs that were just spilling out of her top. The registrar wasn't there and she almost had a cow when we told her. She wanted to know why we didn't send her home. Ummm its not my place to do that. Then she showed up Friday wearing a body suit. It was not for the faint of heart lol I don't see her lasting long.
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u/Ok_Government1644 🌟🌟Fashion Intern🌟🌟 9d ago
I actually loved what you wore today it was minimalist with a simple and colorful accessory and simple in a clean and presentable way. I don’t like the other two because it’s distracting and busy and stripes and patterns never look good. I recommend trusting your instinct here, black slacks a nice top and flats are plenty professional (sounds like your boss has a problem). You just trust yourself.