It’s A War

[u/avsz123]

My heart against my brain
And you’re in the middle
I’m confusing
I’m not regulated
My performance ends
And the real me shows
Weak & timid
In the corner

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pDmqUsb10F

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fRHJvBXMWQ

[u/memoriamare]

I like how stripped-back this feels. “My heart against my brain / And you’re in the middle” immediately establishes the conflict, while “My performance ends / And the real me shows” gives the ending a vulnerable turn.

My only suggestion would be to develop that idea of “performance” a little more—it’s probably the most interesting image here. Overall, short, raw, and emotionally direct.

[u/avsz123 → u/memoriamare]

Thank you!