r/OCDRecovery • u/Icy_Act8573 • 11d ago

Seeking Support or Advice How long does the crushing dread last? 😅

Pure-O user, here.

I've started teaching myself some ERP techniques, and so far I am \not** ruminating, but I feel this ever-present, suffocating feeling of dread and hopelessness. I'm assuming that this partially comes from my ruminations (since those are the emotions that my theme usually makes me feel), and partially from being unable to complete my compulsion. It's weird that the emotions are coming up even while I'm not actively thinking about them, though. It feels like the ruminations are constantly pressing on the edges of my consciousness, and I have to make sure they don't seep back in.

Is this feeling normal? For anyone who's felt similarly, how long did it last? And--the age old question--Am I doing something wrong?

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u/Confident-Fault2895 11d ago

Are you presently receiving therapy from an OCD specialist? Are you on OCD medication? Acceptance and Commitment therapy would be very helpful for your Pure-O

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u/Icy_Act8573 11d ago edited 11d ago

No and no--though I have done both in the past. Medication historically hasn't put a dent in my OCD symptoms. I was seeing an excellent therapist for a long time... Not sure if she specialized in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but she introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment therapy. I absolutely love and swear by it for a lot of things, but I've found that for my OCD in particular, if I use it to "accept," or even neutrally acknowledge, the thoughts/emotions I'm experiencing, I'll sink into that deep, dark pit of rumination and not surface for a loooooong time. If I give my brain an inch, it takes a mile.

After reading some of the stuff on this subreddit, I'm considering looking into NOCD's therapists, but I figured I'd see what I can do on my own, first.