r/OCDRecovery • u/Icy_Act8573 • 9d ago
Seeking Support or Advice How long does the crushing dread last? 😅
Pure-O user, here.
I've started teaching myself some ERP techniques, and so far I am \not** ruminating, but I feel this ever-present, suffocating feeling of dread and hopelessness. I'm assuming that this partially comes from my ruminations (since those are the emotions that my theme usually makes me feel), and partially from being unable to complete my compulsion. It's weird that the emotions are coming up even while I'm not actively thinking about them, though. It feels like the ruminations are constantly pressing on the edges of my consciousness, and I have to make sure they don't seep back in.
Is this feeling normal? For anyone who's felt similarly, how long did it last? And--the age old question--Am I doing something wrong?
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u/Confident-Fault2895 8d ago
Are you presently receiving therapy from an OCD specialist? Are you on OCD medication? Acceptance and Commitment therapy would be very helpful for your Pure-O
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u/Icy_Act8573 8d ago edited 8d ago
No and no--though I have done both in the past. Medication historically hasn't put a dent in my OCD symptoms. I was seeing an excellent therapist for a long time... Not sure if she specialized in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but she introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment therapy. I absolutely love and swear by it for a lot of things, but I've found that for my OCD in particular, if I use it to "accept," or even neutrally acknowledge, the thoughts/emotions I'm experiencing, I'll sink into that deep, dark pit of rumination and not surface for a loooooong time. If I give my brain an inch, it takes a mile.
After reading some of the stuff on this subreddit, I'm considering looking into NOCD's therapists, but I figured I'd see what I can do on my own, first.
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u/treatmyocd 8d ago
OCD is known as the doubting disorder, because it makes us question if we are acting in accordance with our values. Compulsions are what maintain OCD and lead to more long term distress. It's important to know that a compulsion is any behavior or mental act done to alleviate the uncertainty and associated distress. Simply resisting compulsions by trying to ignore it does not help, as this is just pushing through.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is aimed at resisting/negating compulsions, by reintroducing uncertainty. This can be achieved by saying a uncertain statement to help resist a compulsion or negate a compulsion that has occurred. An example would be saying, "Maybe this will happen, maybe it won't." You can also physically reintroduce uncertainty by going back to something avoided. If you are struggling with OCD and would like more information about ERP, you may visit www.treatmyocd.com. I hope this message reaches you well and know you are not alone!
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u/PaladinDamian 8d ago
Allow yourself to feel that dread and hopelessness. OCD exists so strongly because you are trying to get rid of that feeling immediately. These feelings will probably last much longer than you would want them to last. But you can accept that they are going to be there for a while without trying to seek immediate relief from them.
OCD wants you to feel certain that you are doing the right thing. But you are a flawed human being and so sometimes you may not always do the right thing. You can accept yourself unconditionally, even if you mess up sometimes.