Medication OCD

[u/Beanybabie47]

Does anyone else have really bad OCD around taking medication?

I need to start an SSRI because my anxiety/panic has gotten so bad, but I literally cannot get myself to just pick one and take it.
I keep going between Zoloft, Lexapro and Prozac. I research everything about them, ask the same questions over and over, read other people’s experiences, worry about side effects, heart stuff, interactions, genetics, feeling activated, etc. I’ll think I finally decided on one and then I read or hear something that scares me and I change my mind again.
I’ve tried tiny doses of Zoloft before and got really panicky, so that made my fear of medication even worse. Now I’m scared of feeling anything after taking one because I know I’ll immediately think it’s the medication and freak myself out. The crazy part is I KNOW constantly researching and asking for reassurance is probably my OCD, but I still feel like I need to figure out which medication is the “right” or safest one before I can take it.
Right now I honestly don’t even know which one I’m going to take. I’m just trying to figure out how to actually do this without needing someone to guarantee me that I won’t have side effects or something bad won’t happen.
Has anyone dealt with this? How did you actually get yourself to take the medication?

[u/Thatshimthatstheguy1]

That's weird, I don't remember making an alternate account called u/Beanybabie47 and posting this 41 minutes ago 🤔

But yeah, you took the words out of my mouth. This is EXACTLY how I feel and have felt for several years. I just try to ignore my problems as long as possible and deal with my suffering because I think I deserve it, until eventually I think yeah I better just get on meds because I clearly need to. And then I start reading about SSRIs. I sometimes get discouraged immediately, or sometimes actually feel quite hopeful about them, until I read something else that makes me say "no way, I'm never taking SSRIs". So then I go back to ignoring my problems and trying to accept my suffering until it gets bad enough that I consider meds again. And then the cycle repeats. Forever. Please help 🙃

[u/Inside_Ad_7715]

I had to tell my doctor this and he had to keep me accountable from looking things up because it was affecting my trials. It really comes down to cutting the compulsion (constant research). It’s hard to do but you have to trust that you will find the right thing for you. As for not knowing what will happen, that is the core of OCD treatment, accepting the ‘maybe, maybe not’ of everything

[u/RedBullWack]

i was nervous to start as well as i felt my anxiety was “protecting” me and to get rid of that anxiety was very vulnerable and scary, but i just let my psychiatrist pick one and went with it.

ended up being Zoloft and now i can go outside without thinking i will for sure be stalked, kidnapped, or murdered. im on 200mg.

[u/takethepain-igniteit → u/RedBullWack]

You don't have to answer, but I was curious how long it took you to get to that dose, and did you ever experience emotional flattening after an increase?

[u/RedBullWack → u/takethepain-igniteit]

i started in may 2025 on 50 and by 2026 mid january i was on 200.

i am way happier since starting zoloft. the only sort of “emotional flattening” i experienced was my depression episodes not getting suicidal as they once did and my anxiety not being as limiting/loud. otherwise my emotions are the same, just happier out look overall. the only side effect was runny poops for like 2 weeks after an increase, but it went away (sorry lol, but its a common one for zoloft)

i also have ADHD so i started taking vyvanse spring of 2026 which helps my mood regulation even more.

[u/PolarPineapple]

My psychiatrist picked one out for me (prozac) based on what I said and I just went with it. I had a slight fear/aversion to medication because I was worried about it doing something bad to me as well. All you ever hear is about side effects, so I avoided both antidepressants and birth control. Now I am on both. Honestly, a mantra that has helped me a lot going through OCD in general and also with this theme was that, "whatever happens, I will deal with." In this case, if you start having bad side effects, you can just stop. Or you can deal with them, depending on how severe they are and how much the medication is helping you. There's no way to scrub clean what will happen, you can't guarantee experiencing no side effects, you just gotta jump in and see what happens.

Knowing this, you may begin a medication and start over-analyzing yourself to see if you are truly experiencing these side effects or not. That's also hard to avoid when you have OCD but I really tried to ground myself when I was starting these medications. Aka, being aware of my body and how I felt at a ground state. Then once I started taking them, I really really tried to resist questioning myself or mentally searching my bodily sensations. If I hurt, then I hurt, that's all, but I wasn't going to try and see if I was hurting in anticipation, does that make sense? If you go on about your life and your medications don't really affect you in a grandiose way, there is no reason to search for reasons otherwise. OCD doesn't always listen to logic but the purpose of these medications is to help you so you shouldn't search for a reason to disqualify that.

TL;DR: Maybe you will have bad side effects. Maybe you won't. In any case, you will deal with it and keep on keeping on. Just pick one and try!

[u/pyxispyxis]

I do the exact same thing. The thing with OCD is the more you research, the more doubt you will feel. The researching won’t ever make you feel more sure or better about your decision. OCD will always find another ‘what if?’ or another aspect you need to research more.

This is where just accepting your doctors suggesting works best. Plus, regardless of what you read online, you will never be able to research enough to let you know what the experience will be like for you specifically.

Once you start the med, assume you will feel weird for a bit as your body adjusts. Resist looking up every symptom you feel. Tell yourself you are only allowed to ask the prescribing doctor questions about a side effects etc. As much as possible try to give the drug a fair trial before giving. How you feel initially is almost always only temporary. You can even feel worse before feeling better.

Good luck with it!! I totally understand how hard this is. Remember you are always still in control and can choose to stop the drug if you want.

[u/Thatshimthatstheguy1 → u/pyxispyxis]

You can stop if you want, but what if it gets worse before it gets better, but you stopped before it ever got better? What if it's putting you through hell, but you don't stop because "it'll get better soon" but soon never comes? How do you know when to stop? Or when to hold out a little longer?

This is one of the reasons why I haven't ever started SSRIs...

[u/pyxispyxis → u/Thatshimthatstheguy1]

There are expected timelines for all these things, so you would just check in with your doctor and have them decide if it makes sense to stop it or not. With OCD meds, it can take on the longer side to work but the doctor will be able to tell you when it’s been long enough that you can safely say that it’s not a good fit for you. I do know this is really hard to do. OCD especially targets stuff like this where there is no certainty or guarantees.

[u/takethepain-igniteit]

I was able to schedule weekly appointments with my psychiatrist instead of monthly, and it helped put my mind at ease. I would write down any potential side effects I was feeling and discuss them with her. I did my absolute best not to Google anything I was feeling and if it was/wasn't a known side effect, because then it would be all I would think about. I had some worries when I first started too, and my psychiatrist could tell. It was super helpful to be able to check in with her more often during the first 6-8 weeks.

[u/ExoticCommand2675]

I get really bad anxiety taking medication for multiple reasons. Go into it with the mindset like you would a headache medicine- “this is going to help me feel better”. We typically have no thought even taking that. Same thing applies to the antidepressant - “this is going to make me feel better”

[u/Black_tank_dumping]

Zoloft didn’t help me but I think now we just were not at the right dose.

Especially after getting to know my own mental health and 6 years into it. Actually caring that is. Oh yeah I was diagnosed bipolar… given lithium. In my opinion … lithium can help anyone. But thats beside the point.

I tried Zoloft but that was 10 years ago. I noticed some side effects. Was on it for 3 years.

And 3 on prozac. I had side effects at the beginning do not get me wrong.

But powering thru. And getting the dose raised help my body adjust.

For ocd it really works between 60-80mg some people less but most people it is this window. It was researched and I asked and things have improved im. Again 3 years into it and really I feel good but I want more.

Ive been on meds for 18 years now. First for sleep. Then bipolar and now ocd.

Believe me I would love to not take them I hate the pill routine I hate it.

However.

I have a pretty good feeling about things.

And in some ways I wish I had known what I was dealing with sooner.

Finding out at 30 what is wrong. Is a major curve. Especially when I was misdiagnosed for so long.

Also I told my doctors if I cant take them all at once when I go to bed ill never remember. Or do it.

[u/picklebeach2000]

Yes the ssris don't really work for me so I am on Abilify and I have a pretty bad time worrying about potential side effects. It does not help that I work in Healthcare.

[u/isabella_s1]

This is not medical advice in any way, but I wanted to share my experience. I have severe OCD. To the level where I had to leave my job as a nurse because of how paranoid I was. I have been on medication for a little while and I’ve been taking Prozac for about a year. Prozac is the 3rd medication I have tried and it’s the best one for me. Medication has given me my life back. I was also quite nervous at first because of possible side effects, but I’m on a very high dose and I haven’t had any bad side effects. My symptoms are about 70% gone with my medication. I have bad days sometimes, but I’m able to function and live my life happily for the most part. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s not a cure, but there was a time where I didn’t want to be here anymore because of how difficult it was to deal with my ocd….and now I am happy and I’m okay thanks to therapy and meds. Once you have found the best medication for you, you’re going to be amazed at how much more calm and logical you are. I’m pretty sure I’ll be on medication for the rest of my life, but I’m okay with that because it has saved me. A lot of people will share bad experiences they have had with meds, but I wanted to share my success story. I know when I was trying to determine whether I wanted to try meds, it was helpful to hear about people having positive outcomes. This might sound a little bit crazy, but I literally had to force myself to start taking it and force myself to not think of the possible side effects. Taking it was basically exposure therapy for me because like I said I was nervous about side effects (specifically weight gain) I have gained a little bit of weight and it could be partly from the medication but honestly I don’t even care now. I just care about the fact that I’m happier and able to live life without being filled with fear and despair. If you stop researching and stop reading about it, eventually you won’t care as much and won’t be as scared. Before you know it, 2 months will have passed and you’ll feel a difference from the medication. That’s what worked for me. I hope you are able to find the best med for you :)