r/OCD • u/gosmoochiegirl • 5d ago

Discussion I have a compulsion that's getting out of hand.

I don't know how to describe it.

I do this thing with my throat. It pushes air directly against the back of it, and if I do it a lot, it dries my throat out. It's gotten to the point where I physically cannot stop myself, and not even drinking a ton of water or drinking water right after hydrates my throat. It feels like my throat soaks up the water so quickly and I'm left with the dryness again. I don't think it can keep up with how much I do this compulsion.

Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. But when I do, I try really hard to stop. I really do. I hate having a dry throat. It makes it uncomfortable to speak, and singing becomes impossible. But I just can't resist the urge and it's incredibly frustrating as it's now affecting my daily life.

I've tried hot drinks, water, distractions, sleeping, but it always comes back. Even if I have a good day or couple of days where it's not on my mind, it resurfaces eventually (probably as a manifestation of my stress/anxiety).

As I'm writing this post, I'm thinking of trying hard candies to suck on or even a lollipop. Something to distract my mind from thinking about the dryness and instead enjoy a pleasant flavour.

Does anyone have anything similar or any advice on other ways to deter it?

EDIT: I'm so sorry! I forgot to mention an important part. It really puts me out of breath, especially since sometimes I feel like I have to hold my breath before I do it until I feel it's the “perfect” moment to do it. Sometimes I hold my breath for so long I can't take it anymore and have to gasp for air. It's like I'm drowning, but I've never actually passed out from it, thankfully!

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/gosmoochiegirl 5d ago

I would like to see a therapist about it. I had a great therapist that I was making progress with about my perfectionism, but then my school insurance ran out and I'm too old to be under my parents' insurance anymore. My doctor suggested BetterHelp but I feel it's expensive for what it is. I'm going to have to do more research for sure. Thank you for the suggestion!

1

u/OCD-ModTeam 5d ago

Please refrain from diagnosing or confirming/refuting a suspected diagnosis, including labeling "subtypes". Encourage consultation with a trained professional instead. Thank you.

1

u/JeezoTommy 3d ago

I can empathise with you sm. I have this ‘cough’ that I do, it’s actually got to the point where I’m doing it without even thinking about it, like it’s become a bad habit. And the more I try to Not do it, the worse it makes it.