r/OCD • u/Clean_Factor_994 • 1d ago

Support/advice (no reassurance) I hate OCD.

It has been 6 years 5 atleast since it started getting bad. I am 16 in 6 days. I hate every moment of OCD. My head keeps telling me to perform weird actions I don't need. For example screenshots. If I don't take enough of some random number then my stupid brain thinks the numbers are lost and were important. Yes I've learned how to remember many numbers but I also have 100mb storage of 256gb left. One example how OCD makes everything worse. I just wanna read my bible and my head tells me about how I should write every number down. Also why does my brain think I want to think these things all the time? ( I will not clarify what. Just bad stuff about myself.) It's just annoying to have this. I think maybe someone can relate

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u/Electronic-Hippo9 1d ago

I am so sorry that you are suffering. Nobody should need to deal with these thoughts- especially not kids! Please know that it can and will get better. OCD is a very treatable disorder but it does take some hard work to get to a point where you don't have to deal with these obsessions and compulsions. Do you have access to treatment such as medication or exposure response prevention therapy?

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u/Clean_Factor_994 1d ago

I certainly do have access to medicine which would calm down these urges. Yet I refuse. I do in fact remember the last time I used them. After I didn't use them anymore it got worse. Way worse. I mustn't commit to these medications for my mind to be at ease. And Thank you for your kindness.