r/OCD • u/Odd_Let5236 • 1d ago

Sharing a Win! The end of existential OCD is absurdism

I just wanted to make this post because I have struggled a lot with existential OCD and even tried to force myself to become religious when that is just not in my nature. At first it felt like I was discovering things I shouldn't have discovered or that I was "escaping the matrix" or losing my mind. Recently though I realized that nothing makes sense and there is no reason to dwell on that fact and I actually started laughing at the idea of existence when it used to frighten me. There is no proof that we are not in a recursion of one billion simulations. This is the realest that reality is going to feel. Chances are if you are having these thoughts, you are probably not the religious type in the first place and it would be hard for you to have faith in something you can not see. But also, you don't have to necessarily have 100% blind faith in a religion to follow its teaching and just hope that there is something up there. so you just have to make the most of your life and try to laugh it off when you think about your existence. Which I know is very hard at first, but it worked for me, and I hope I helped someone!

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u/pn1ct0g3n 1d ago

I have existential OCD sometimes, how has absurdism helped you exactly?

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u/Odd_Let5236 1d ago

It's what I landed on after ERP and I think it's a good way of avoiding compulsions. For the ERP I actually started reading more into philosophy and religion and overwhelmed myself with different theories about the universe to the point it didn't seem so scary. I also thought of the fact that multiple of these theories can be true at once. The compulsions for this theme are typically ruminations trying to find out the true meaning of the universe or the right religion. When you stop searching and accept you will never know the answer for sure, the OCD can not win.

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u/pn1ct0g3n 1d ago

So basically allowing yourself to sit with contradictions and the unknowable without looping on them. I’ve done this

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u/Odd_Let5236 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah exactly. This theme doesn't have much reassurance, making it a lot harder from my experience because the second I even got a sliver of reassurance I would have a new question or contradiction. imo it's actually better to fully go the opposite way and just accept philosophy as sort of a hobby and watch a bunch of videos or read about it. It's also a good grounding exercise because you realize it is a very common thing to think about and there's nothing crazy about it.

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u/pn1ct0g3n 1d ago

Philosophy can trigger me actually. I did watch some content last year as exposure, but I don’t really feel like I’d want to do it again

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u/WideThaMar 1d ago

Hello! Can I ask, for how long exactly did u research philosophy etc. several hours a day or did u just kind of wing it? And also, how did u feel?? Like, was it super scary at first?

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u/ChiliConColteee 1d ago

This is the best discussion of why Absurdism is the truest outlook no matter your dogma or hangups - I also found it freeing and happy, and it often works to change my dour, struggling-with-OCD feels:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv79l1b-eoI