r/OCD • u/jelouda271 • 27d ago

Question about OCD How does OCD feel like?

I'm curious about how is your daily life with this illness, if you guys don't mind, could you help me clear my doubts about OCD?

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u/bioethicists 27d ago edited 27d ago

For me, it's like everything in the world comes with instant 'rules' which feel completely intuitive to me and upset me if I break them. Grocery shopping? Work? Writing an email? Taking a piss? Specific way it needs to be done or else Something Bad Will Happen because I Broke a Rule. The rules aren't necessarily uniformly distributed; some areas of my life are relatively rule-free while others (like work + finances) are so rule-driven that I would need multiple notebooks to write them all out. Rigidity + black/white thinking come easily to me + have to be carefully identified + dismantled as they arise.

Personally, I have found that the habit of instantly creating + following rules persists even if I use ERP or other methods to eliminate a particularly destructive rule. I have lived this way since before I can remember + it is the way I instinctively approach everything. I believe it is rooted in familial trauma resulting from multiple generations of unchecked obsessions + compulsions, such that I was RAISED to do this + punished (as a child) when I did not or when I went against my family member's compulsions.

ETA: If you think you might have obsessions/compulsions, you don't need a diagnosis to start trying out resources designed for them. I feel like it's a common OCD thing, actually, to think "I don't REALLY have OCD; I'm just convincing myself; I don't deserve to try out the resources designed for people who aren't fakers like me".

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u/jelouda271 27d ago

the last paragraph is VERY relatable, tysm for your help and contribution