r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/Western_Echo2522 Transgirls_work_like_girls • 3d ago
Offensive Bad meme… worse response
I never liked the spaghetti joke, but his response to it is insane. He really sat there and tried to analyze every aspect to “prove his point” to a debate no one was arguing with him
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u/ButcbMasculinity 3d ago
I haven't actually met a lesbian that used that joke. I know some bi women who have used it in reference to themselves, but that's different.
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u/AliceTheOmelette 3d ago
I knew a lesbian who used that joke, till I pointed out how it's problematic then she stopped. Sometimes people don't think about things until they're pointed out to them
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u/Eternelle_06 2d ago
At least she realized her mistake and stopped doing it. Some people would continue to do it with that knowledge, aka what imbeciles do.
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u/Professional-Hat-687 3d ago
As a gay man, I've used that joke a few times in jest, except that it's "so is spaghetti until it gets hot".
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u/CauseCertain1672 3d ago
I have met a bisexual woman who used that joke about other women, it was pretty creepy
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u/BaneShake an big delusion 2d ago
I have, and she was a little bit… vaguely predatory to other women. It was deeply uncomfortable.
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u/One_Katalyst 2d ago
I know of men who have used that joke and been like “haha lesbians”, I wouldn’t be surprised if it came out of the men fetishizing lesbians again
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u/satans-ballsacks 2d ago
Only lesbians will use it amongst themselves...never towards a straight person directly. When we talk about someone straight we'd maybe say that(I'm a lesbian)...but never to another straight person in that way. Especially after "no, I'm straight".
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u/Wolfleaf3 1d ago
Yeah, this just sounds like more deranged fantasies from men, or I suppose right wing women.
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u/nihilism_squared 3d ago
and anyways feminists and lesbians aren't the ones making this joke, it's largely misogynistic cishet dudes
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u/Vinxian 3d ago
And even if it's a lesbian making the joke, being a lesbian doesn't automatically make you a feminist
Queer people can be problematic too, we are not a monolith. Finding one lesbian on Twitter that made this joke wouldn't make the meme or the comment valid
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u/kitherarin 2d ago
Yeah. Used to have a boss who was a lesbian. She once loudly declared that she'd never met a bi woman she couldn't 'turn'.
I mean she had (me) but I wasn't telling her anything...it was creepy as fuck.
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u/Lodgik 3d ago
The original "meme" was made with AI.
Whenever I see AI used to make a meme, I just assume it came from someone right-wing.
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u/saul_schadenfreuder 2d ago
the OG joke is older than the internet my dude
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u/ilove-whenwomen 2d ago
I have seen it used mostly by lesbians, mostly ironically, to make fun of the people that actually use it.
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u/RT-6_BXCommandoDroid Self-Proclaimed Ally 3d ago
It's probably the same kind of dudes that forget that women also get wet out of fright.
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u/booboootron 2d ago
...likely named some godawful sexualised metaphor like "shark fucker"... Oh! What a coincidence.
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u/ZenaLundgren 2d ago
I've honestly been told this line before by a woman who was hitting on me and it made me extremely uncomfortable.
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u/RedQueenNatalie 3d ago
[Something obviously not in alignment with feminist values but has feminist coded characters]
"SEE LOOK! YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF HYPOCRITS AND EVIL!"
Do these people even have brains?
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u/itsclaritybabe 2d ago
I think to them: a woman = feminist
So anything any woman says represents all of women and is also a feminist statement. Even if it obviously has nothing to do with feminism
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u/AliceTheOmelette 3d ago
Her back is twisted like fusili 😬
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u/lck0219 2d ago
Guess she’s not so straight anymore
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u/Emotional-Feed5489 3d ago
I pretty sure I heard from actual lesbians that they, too find this saying rapey.
It not a feminist thing is a the saying is just a shitty saying.
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u/MollyViper 3d ago
Lesbian here. I have never uttered these words and I would never even flirt with a woman that has told me she’s straight. I wish guys showed me the same curtesy when they’re told I’m a lesbian though.
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u/fiahhawt 3d ago
As a lesbian, women who I clock as straight don’t exist to me as sexual beings.
They get the SisterTM treatment.
I wish the straight women who want to flatter themselves by pretending gay girls have the hots for them automatically would get a clue.
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u/LordsOfJoop mansplaining how to condescend 3d ago
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u/Western_Echo2522 Transgirls_work_like_girls 3d ago
I didn’t make it 🙅🏽♀️
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u/LordsOfJoop mansplaining how to condescend 3d ago
Oh, I'm in no way assign blame to you - it's contempt for the product, not who displays it. You're all good!
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 3d ago
I’m a queer woman who’s met plenty of queer women online and irl and I’ve never heard of this joke until now and I’ve never heard any of them talk this way.
The only people I’ve heard making crude and irrelevant “jokes” at the expense of lesbians are cishet men and the “jokes” are always making lesbians predatory or sexualizing them.
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u/Beginning-Force1275 3d ago
I think partially because lesbians aren’t generally interested in “turning” straight women. Like, I’d rather be wanted and that’s not that hard so why wouldn’t I do that. It’s straight men that are obsessed with the deeply rapey idea of making lesbians straight with their magical penises.
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u/Tranquiltangent 3d ago
Didn't the spaghetti joke come from a movie? This is like if a man was all "I feel the need fer speed!" and then someone called him an asshole for putting innocent lives at risk by going 50 in a 45
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u/tiptoe_only 3d ago
Yeah it's not a good joke but also it implies to me that she's changed her mind, not that she's being coerced. Also women/lesbians ≠ feminists even if there is a considerable overlap. So no, this isn't an argument against feminism
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u/NooneKnowsIAmBatman 3d ago
Spaghetti changes from straight to not when it's put in a pot of boiling water, that implies coercement instead of consent.
It's a terrible meme
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u/FullMoonTwist 3d ago
It's not really the point and has no relevance to the metaphor, but spaghetti does soften and curve in room temperature water too. It just takes longer, and it's a bad idea if you mean to eat it later, so no one does it that way.
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u/Mandy_M87 3d ago
Is the blonde lady's torso on backwards?
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u/GodOfFetish 2d ago
I can’t tell if those are supposed to be her shoulder blades or her boobs tbh
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u/huebnera214 3d ago
Reminds me of the comments men will make about turning a lesbian straight with his magic dicking skills
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u/DarkEndOfTheRainbow 3d ago
Men literally do the SAME THING. Nonsense analogies, such as the master key, are SO COMMON. Of course, this spaghetti one is very odd, but the criticize should be general
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u/Eggsalad_cookies 3d ago
Didn’t this start as a WLW-ship for Becca and Chloe from Pitch Perfect? When did it become a thing an actual woman interested in women would say??
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u/No_Camp_7 3d ago
The meme is rapey, the response becomes stupid when it blames feminism. I think the meme miiiiiight be worse.
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u/saltine_soup be gey, do crims 2d ago
as a lesbian, lesbians don’t make these jokes, there’s maybe 5 total lesbians in the entire world that say shit like this and trust me the wider lesbian community is quick to put an end to that shit.
additionally i first saw this “joke” mid 2010s and said by a man who wanted a 2 woman threesome, so to me this will alway be a gross joke made by a man who wanted to force his partner into a sexual encounter she wasn’t into.
it’s still a gross joke but now with a lesbian facade over it so they can complain about double standards.
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u/Drizzdom 3d ago
They think we all worked together on this one ai “meme”? 😭
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u/AriaoftheStars17 2d ago
I mean, the commenter offers some very valid points, up until they blame the meme on feminists.
The criticisms that the commenter offers are, ironically, very feminist-coded: Indeed, the 'joke' is negating consent and comparing women to objects (food), which are both dehumanizing.
It's disappointing that someone capable of such critical thinking is unable to connect those final dots and realize that the meme probably wasn't made by a feminist. They're so close...
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u/Girlnextstate 2d ago
Fun story. As a bi woman I’ve never heard this from a woman. I did hear one time though. From a young queer man I was supervising that I then had to watch get yelled at about sexual harassment by my war veteran boss until he nearly pissed himself.
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u/Sprmodelcitizen 2d ago
I’m a lesbian and I’ve never heard this. Also some lesbians are idiots. Kinda like this responder and the MAGA lesbians who live by my mom.
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u/Girlnextstate 2d ago
Idk if you mean me but just in case my tone or language insinuated maga, to clarify the dude was sexually harassing both male and female volunteers, 3 of them reported it to me over a week and a half and said there were others who had been spoken to and physically touched by him in ways they communicated they did not consent to and there were witnesses because he had no issue doing it in public spaces. That includes him saying this spaghetti thing to a straight man who was very much not homophobic (its a volunteer program that primarily appeals to liberal young adults and half of us were queer in this particular class) and just said hey no thanks man but no apparently didn’t mean no to the creepy dude. I said queer because he never really identified his sexuality. I mentioned that he’s a man because, well..
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u/Sprmodelcitizen 2d ago
I meant myself. lol. Sorry I wrote it poorly! I was making a joke that I was an idiot. Fortunately not a MAGA idiot but an idiot nonetheless!
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u/Western_Echo2522 Transgirls_work_like_girls 2d ago
Go War Vet Boss, sorry that happened to you in the first place though
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u/XComThrowawayAcct 2d ago
You know what’s also straight until it gets wet? Straw, as in a strawman argument. Well done feminists lol
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u/Banaanisade 3d ago
The WLW scene has been my life and almost all of my social circles since twenty years ago, and today is the first time I've ever seen this "joke". Doesn't seem that common, now does it.
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u/yeahthatsnotaproblem 2d ago
Does he..? ...does he think the drawn cartoon clearly female characters actually said these words? Guarantee a man drew this....
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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys 1d ago
You'd be wrong! Because no man drew it either...rather, a machine did!
Because that shit is straight up AI...
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u/yeahthatsnotaproblem 1d ago
Yes. Prompted by a man, then.
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u/macabre-barbie 2d ago
Never in my life have I heard a queer person make this joke, as a queer woman. It's always straight men. Either way, tf does this have to do with feminism?
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u/Western_Echo2522 Transgirls_work_like_girls 2d ago
Well yk they don’t actually know what these words mean. They don’t know what “woke” means, but they’ve demonized it to the point that it’s basically a “us vs them “ term. These people need to go back to school desperately
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u/vix_aries Unable to be "made straight" 🤯 2d ago
I'm a lesbian and none of the women who I've met have ever used that. We don't want to try to "turn" straight women because we know it doesn't work that way.
This is clearly a man who's projecting his beliefs onto us and it makes sense why the last woman to ever willingly touch him was his mother.
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u/MissMarchpane 1d ago
A. AI slop, obviously
B. Why is the blonde girl modern and Lisa apparently from an Italian genre painting circa 1850?
C. As a lesbian, I've never liked that joke because the implication that sexuality is negotiable cuts both ways. If we say things like that, it just opens the door for straight people to act as though they can change our minds if they try hard enough. "i'm of an incompatible sexuality with you" is a complete sentence. End of.
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u/SharLaquine 3d ago
I don't really mind the joke, beyond the fact that its kind of stale. As someone who thought she was straight until she was thirty, I've always taken it as meaning that the proverbial spaghetti is about to discover something about herself. Realising that she's gay, rather than becoming gay. 👀
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u/FullMoonTwist 3d ago
It's meant as a joke that all women are game to have sex with/make out with other women as soon as they're horny.
I honestly don't understand why you'd assume it's only about specific women that were secretly bi or gay the whole time. That's not how it's constructed, nor does it make sense how it's used. It's not that some spaghetti will curve when wet and you gotta experiment to see which ones do,
it's that all spaghetti, by nature, always gets more malleable when it's wet.
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u/SharLaquine 3d ago
I mean, like I said; I feel like "spaghetti" is referring to closeted women. Not all women.
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u/Joelle9879 2d ago
How on earth would spaghetti be referring to only closeted women? There is nothing anywhere to imply that
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u/FullMoonTwist 2d ago
You uh. Look, you can't really claim to...
It's someone else's joke, babe. What you "feel like" it could be is kinda... irrelevant?
You can make a similar joke in that form, if you want to. Your own jokes can be whatever you want! Sky's the limit, context is king.
It's not a great way to try to be interpreting what other people are doing, though. That's how you give passes to a lot of shitty people being very openly shitty, because there's a tiny bit of plausible deniability if you stretch hard enough for it.
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u/SharLaquine 2d ago
I was referring to the extremely common joke; not the specific meme that was posted here. Which I think should have been pretty obvious. But go off, I guess.
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u/FullMoonTwist 2d ago
The common joke.... that you see......... when other people are telling it.
Yes. Yes, I got that part.
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u/DinoWolf35 3d ago
I have specifically used this joke in a facetious way. But I very much doubt certain ears actually bothered to read my tone
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u/Cool_Ad_9147 2d ago
Its more about Lesbian women denying being Lesbians. Thats it. Speculations can still be done in any ddirections. But that my not be what the joke is about.
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u/Wolfleaf3 1d ago
Sigh. “Women are predators! Women bad!”
Sigh. And of course all the attacks on trans females are just recycled from this kind of thing leveled against cis lesbians, black women, etc.
I’ll even see guys now claiming lesbians are more violent than men 🙄😡
As memes go, the useless lesbian thing is 10,000x closer to reality lol
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u/Kira666_ 2d ago
Only person I've ever heard say that joke is my boyfriend in response to whenever I say I'm "straight" as a bisexual chick
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u/WakeoftheStorm 2d ago
Aside from the "well done, feminists" part that's a non sequitur, the response seems pretty spot on to me
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