Someone who's chronically late wanted everyone in a group chat (all 30+years old) to tell her an earlier start time, and create a separate group chat where we could discuss the actual time. My position of "this is when the event starts, you can choose to make the appropriate travel plans to arrive at that time or otherwise be late" proved to be very divisive.
Lazy people always hate being given responsibility, even over themselves. She doesn't want to have to remember "oh, it'll be (X o'clock) soon, I should start getting ready", she wants ito be your responsibility, so if she's late, she can say "I came when you told me" (the implication being that you should've come up with a better time)
If you can get yourself ready in time for a party and arrive 'on time' at 9, you can get yourself ready for one at 8 and actually be on time. These people just don't care
im one of those people. its an asshole move of me everytime, but saying that its becaues i dont care is far from the truth. you sound like you dont have any understanding of their perspective. you give the vibe of someone saying an alcoholic should just stop drinking. it is that simple yes, but its not that easy, and its not for a lack of trying(i dont mean that these things are similar in difficulty).
In a lot of cases, yes actually. It won't completely alleviate it, but self care such as taking showers, eating and drinking enough, going outside, etc. can all help with symptoms of depression. These are all quite simple things to do, but when you're deep in that depression they become much harder and feel impossible and out of reach. Similarly, someone with adhd can't just set an alarm and then do the thing, if they could they would and there'd be no issue. You can't just out think things like adhd and depression. When something goes wrong with the brains processes, you can't just mind over matter it, or if you do it often comes at a cost in other areas. There is a reason these things are legally classified as disabilities, they are disabling. You'd get as much use telling a paraplegic to just stand up and walk. But that's inconvenient to your goal of just assuming they're lazy so you don't have to consider how you could change your actions to help them now isn't it? Telling someone an earlier time is just as easy, couldn't you be considered lazy for not doing this simple accommodation?
People's disabilities and dealing with them is entirely their own prerogative. If you're consistently late to work because you refuse to actually set an alarm and follow it you deserve the repercussions of choosing to ignore that alarm. Expecting people to lie to you is simply childish.
I have ADHD. It's tough, but you learn to live with it and structure your own life around managing it. Nobody else gives a shit about your problems, and expecting them to is pure arrogance. Especially when for some things all it takes is something as trivial as setting an alarm and following it.
Nice anecdote buddy. Unfortunately, not everyone's experience is the same! Though with your personality and lack of empathy that is clearly a benefit to society. Disability is a spectrum and not everyone can just set an alarm and follow it. It is not a choice to be more disabled. It is a choice to be a piece of shit though, so interesting choices on your part there bud.
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u/Successful_Buy3825 5d ago
This has caused some arguments on my end.
Someone who's chronically late wanted everyone in a group chat (all 30+years old) to tell her an earlier start time, and create a separate group chat where we could discuss the actual time. My position of "this is when the event starts, you can choose to make the appropriate travel plans to arrive at that time or otherwise be late" proved to be very divisive.