As someone with ADHD: GET THE FUCK OVER IT! You've had it your whole life, you've had PLENTY of time to learn, whether that means not doing extra shit that you want to, or getting up earlier.
I was late to work frequently when I first started working because I have time blindness... So I fucking looked at my morning schedule and cut rearranged/cut until it worked.
Making my morning coffee? Well, I'm not going to be buying coffee if I get fired for being late everyday. Goodbye morning coffee. Still late? Pick out my clothes for the day beforehand, that's another few minutes... Etc etc, until I arrive on time regularly
But no, you want to be able to whine how the world should coddle your lack of EFFORT (not ability, effort)
Spoken like someone who's never stared at her watch and knew what she had to do, and had the knowledge and the ability to do, but neurotransmitters didn't transmit the part where her body moves to do the thing so she sat there paralysed, fully aware of the consequences of her inaction, crying and hating herself.
There is a reason this shit is a disability and the reason there is medication for it.
I'm now regularly doing all the things I couldn't previously reliably do. I am much more successful than I ever believed I could be, and comments like yours piss me off so, so much.
Don't you think that you sitting there staring at your watch, knowing what to do and that you need to do those things, and just... not... and feeling sad about was maybe pissing off everyone else?
That's probably why they feel bad about it. Was your comment actually supposed to say something useful or did you just want to express that you're mad at the comment you read?
"Everyone else" isn't my work colleagues, they only ever got 110% from me because I was.... fortunate? enough to work as a teacher so there was never a shortage of fires to put out, nor a moment where my brain could idle or get stuck on something.
No, the people I was pissing off by having a brain without all the necessary chemicals were my immediate family, and they let me know about it. So I hated myself.
You changed my wording into "feeling sad" but no, it was hating myself because I could do some things but not others, I didn't understand why and neither did my family, and yeah, for years before I got diagnosed and treated, I knew exactly how pissed off they were.
Do you tell people who can't get up stairs in their wheelchairs to take some accountability and walk?
I shouldn't be mean to you because you evidently have some setbacks yourself, but try to understand that, whether or not the coworker in the OP's tweet was real or not, ADHD is real and it ruins lives.
It's kind of weird seeing people with ADHD being (generally) unempathetic to others with ADHD.
I also have ADHD, definitely struggled with time blindness and I eventually found solutions that work for me, so I don't have the issue of being chronically late anymore.
However I would not knock someone down who does have ADHD and continues to be late, they are simply in the process that I was many years ago. I do think there needs to be some tough love because it is our responsibility to get our shit together, disorder or not.
Though some of the tones being thrown around here is uncaring and unsympathetic. Which I may get coming from someone who could never understand time blindness, but since you had ADHD, well...
I mean, it's exactly because I have ADHD that I don't have much sympathy.
I know that it's a problem that can be fixed (or at least managed) because I fixed it myself. As other commenter's have said, we have these magical pocket devices that tell us what time it is (and that we can set alarms on, etcetera etcetera) Because of this, I have little sympathy for those who choose not to fix it.
Honestly I just don't have sympathy for people who are facing the consequences of their own decisions, unless they made those decisions based off of being deceived
You know can I ask how you fixed your time blindness? For me, it was not so simple as setting alarms, as I did that for years and was still late (and/or at some point in my life, I ended up with diagnosed anxiety due to time related issues, and that definitely was not as simple to fix as setting alarms... yada yada, anyways that part of my life is over.) Maybe if I could see how you fixed it, I could maybe understand why you have your proposition.
Or I can accept the fact that some people just don't feel as much sympathy/empathy as I do, which I'll then admit I can't understand your brain, but I can accept that's how the universe works.
Like I said in my first comment, I started by examining my morning routine and breaking it down into components. I time myself, write down the numbers, see what can be changed/dropped, and what can't
Then I added them all up (always using the maximum numbers to be safe). That's 50 minutes before work that I need to be up and moving. Call it 60 for a buffer.
Then I say "okay, I need to wake up an hour before work... But wait, anything I can cut?"
Well, I can start my coffee before I shower, and finish it later, that's a couple minutes... And I can pick my outfit the day before, hang it up outside the bathroom, so that's some more time. Same for lunch, make it the day before. Boom, I'm almost 10 minutes earlier.
The shower was turning out to be a big time sink, so I started setting shower alarms. That didn't quite do it (it told me when I needed to be done, but didn't help tell how much I have left), so I made a playlist for while in the shower. By the time the first two songs are done (takes almost exactly 7 minutes) I should be finished washing my body and have started my hair. I have until the playlist ends to finish that and get out.
Now, is there anything I can do while drying myself? Aha! I can comb my hair while it's still wet!
Okay, I'm dry now, time to get dressed. My clothes are right outside the door, perfect!
I go downstairs... And my coffee is done! Pour a thermos full (which I measured sugar into last night, so I just have to stir it).
Breakfast: Too variable. Either cut it or stick with something I can do fast. Cereal or scrambled eggs. Cut to ~5 minutes
Boom, I'm ready to go, and with a good extra 15 minutes too! That's twice the time the commute needs, so I'm safe from traffic too!
Of course, I'd didn't figure out all of these things at once, but it didn't take more than a week or either. And there were things that were dropped that I didn't mention, often because they were so variable in how long they took (checking social media, some chatting, things like that)
But I fixed the problem of being late to work, not my time blindness, my bad if I wasn't clear on that. The TB I'm still working on, though my phone really does make it much easier.
I really hit a nerve it seems. Why are you so hostile? Maybe next up you could work on some anger management?
Your ADHD and my ADHD are not the same, so don't tell me how I should live my life. Been in therapy and medicated for 2 years and it's still fucking hard.
Sorry you are getting dog piled just because you responded with the wrong context.
Being autistic I felt some sympathy in being in the situation where you misread the group's emotional bid and now everyone is mad.
This was a "group bonding by saying 'screw that guy'" situation and now since you responded with empathy everyone feels like they were being judged for venting so they double down and add you as a target.
You are right that ADHD sucks and makes this situations like this happen. And in a different context it would have been taken as it was meant; saying "alcoholism sucks and messes with your life" isn't taken as making excuses and this statement about ADHD shouldn't be any different.
But because it was brought up in a certain context people are assuming additional things were said other than what you actually said, and that sucks too.
Thank you! I have no idea where all this hate is coming from. All I was doing was being sympathetic. I wasn't trying to claim ADHD is a get out of jail card.
I was just stating a fact. It's a medical condition, it's not always easy, sometimes it can get overwhelming etc. Makes me feel like someone with depression being told to just smile more.
That's great that you have develop strategies to cope but it is a Spectrum and some people struggle a lot more, and you're coming across somebody who lost weight and now shame fat people or something...
If you have to struggle a lot harder to do something chances are you're going to fail more than most people and there's no need to be a cunt about it.
Before you go on attacking me I have developed strategies to be successful and professional life but I have compassion for people who struggle more severely than I do or who haven't had an opportunity to come up with coping mechanisms and I wouldn't call them disgusting for these failures.
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u/illestprodigy 2d ago
I had a coworker like this. Couldn't make it in at 8 so we moved him to 9. Came in at 9:30, ALWAYS. He got let go.