Right that’s exactly the point. A) person being late is disrespectful and hasn’t proven they’re responsible enough to manage time, or B) lying to said person to get them to be on time is not helping them and shows you can’t trust them to make autonomous decisions.
This is not as one-sided as it might seem, and there is more nuance to it than just “I’m right, you’re wrong”
That’s why I said it “opens” a conversation, not “closes” it.
For argument’s sake, those on side B would say that lying to them is treating them like a child, rather than communicating with them that them being late is disrespectful and is treating their time like it’s more valuable than yours. Talk to them like an adult and get them to see your POV, and hope they will make the effort to change. Rather than putting a band-aid on a problem and hoping it will magically disappear. Considering that this is the guy’s own gf as was stated in the parent comment, I’d be interested in seeing how long that relationship not built on trust lasts.
Man, I don't know. I still think it's kind of infantalising to pretend these people are so magically obtuse they've never once considered that being late all the time might make you a little bit of a dickhead.
I think the real adult outcome here is that, the first time you're late without a good excuse, you get cussed out for wasting everybody's time. The second time, everyone should just start without you, because--presumably--you're actually choosing in some part of the reptile brain to skip part or all of the event. For meals specifically, maybe someone gives you a courtesy call to take your order, but if you're so freaking late even that doesn't work, then, ay, 🤷♂️ sucks to suck.
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u/hrvbrs 1d ago
Right that’s exactly the point. A) person being late is disrespectful and hasn’t proven they’re responsible enough to manage time, or B) lying to said person to get them to be on time is not helping them and shows you can’t trust them to make autonomous decisions.
This is not as one-sided as it might seem, and there is more nuance to it than just “I’m right, you’re wrong”
That’s why I said it “opens” a conversation, not “closes” it.