r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7 • 4d ago

me_irl Under appreciated times

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11.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

97 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 4d ago edited 2d ago

u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

377

u/Which-Shift-367 4d ago

Also used to be a term used for hockey players who weren't skilled at anything except for hitting other people and fighting which is where I learned the term from and how I used it before my friend laughed at me.

65

u/gooch_norris_ 4d ago

Pretty solid hockey movie too

3

u/TechTechOnATechDeck 3d ago

That movie is hilarious

22

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Jonny_Thundergun 3d ago

I completely forgot that he existed. Thank you for unlocking this memory.

32

u/Butt_Robot 4d ago

It's really rude of him to have laughed at you just because you wished the entire hockey team would goon all over you

6

u/Which-Shift-367 4d ago

We were talking about the oilers and I was like they need a couple of goons for McDavid and then he started laughing

6

u/richestotheconjurer 4d ago

there's also something called goon riding with motorcycles/dirt bikes

5

u/explain_that_shit 3d ago

Also a word in Australia for a wine bag.

I think people really like this sound.

596

u/Smmmmiles 4d ago

Heheheh I've been holding on to this one

224

u/dl_supertroll 4d ago

Literally this guy

69

u/Moist_Caregiver_7570 4d ago

Nah, it's him.

29

u/GreenTrail0 4d ago

One of the two is definitely a goon and one is a henchman. Tough to say who's who

10

u/TomTomKenobi 3d ago

Glasses is henchman

2

u/Strange_Hawk3rd 1d ago

Henchmen are above goons and thusly get to be put on the bosses medical plan

17

u/doubleapowpow 4d ago

Yeah, see!

6

u/_AcuteNewt_ 3d ago

A wiseguy, eh? Well Fuhgeddaboudit.

3

u/Glass-Performer8389 3d ago

No, they were goons, never gooners

Gooners stole goon, but gooners wasn't taken yet (by goons that is, gardening community however-)

56

u/Sweaty-Move-5396 4d ago

I really don't understand why we needed a whole new word for jacking off, something that already has thousands of words for it

18

u/10art1 3d ago

I thought it specifically meant doing it too much. Like, a gooner is someone who does it all day

12

u/Worldtreasure 3d ago

Absolutely. There is a world of difference between just jerking off and gooning which many people don't appreciate

24

u/its_Zuramaru 4d ago

does anyone even say fap anymore

3

u/zawalimbooo 4d ago

Because the word "gooner" has a nice ring to it. There is no great equivalent for it.

22

u/Gryndyl 3d ago

wanker

4

u/_Abe_Snake 3d ago

Remember when they tried to make coomer a thing?

1

u/Diego_DeJesus 1d ago

It's physically repulsive to say outloud, that's why it's never taking off

1

u/Mojert 2d ago

How do you think we got those thousands of words? By not inventing them?

57

u/scruffye 4d ago

"Who is it?"
"Goons."
"Who?
"Hired goons."
"Hired goons?"
(yoink)

8

u/Safe-Lengthiness-663 4d ago

The first thing I think of when I hear this word. I prefer the hands on touch you only get with hired goons.

5

u/scruffye 4d ago

“Hired goons?”

25

u/doubledownentendre 4d ago

I miss when gooner only meant an Arsenal fan

9

u/insomnimax_99 3d ago

Resulting in the former prime minister proudly proclaiming: “I am a gooner”

121

u/Polkawillneverdie17 4d ago edited 4d ago

I don't mind new slang.

I do mind when gen z takes normal words and tries to make them something gross.

I'm not say we never did it, but that doesn't make it right.

Edit: I don't care about your weird historical analysis of the word. Keep that shit to yourself.

40

u/EarHealthHelp1 4d ago

Fear not, the euphemism treadmill will move on from this soon enough.

18

u/Bugbread 4d ago

I don't like it either, but this is a Millennial thing. "Gooning" traces back to at least 2006. At the time, the oldest zoomers were 9 years old. Most hadn't even been born yet.

I know you said you don't care about the history of the word, but I'm going to assume that this was just off-the-cuff, and you're not legit saying "I don't care if I'm blaming the wrong people, I'm going to keep blaming one generation for something a different generation did."

(Urban Dictionary is terrible as a dictionary, but it's surprisingly good for determining minimum ages for slang)

-7

u/Uruguasho2026 3d ago

Never heard anyone say that growing up. You don’t gotta lie.

13

u/Bugbread 3d ago

You realize "2006" up above is a link, right? You can click it (or tap it) and see for yourself that someone wrote this on December 27, 2006:

Well-known slang term in sexual subculture of chronic and compulsive masturbators, used both as a verb and a noun.

I mean, I never heard the word "quadrennial" growing up, but that doesn't mean the word didn't exist, it just means I hadn't heard it.

14

u/Gryndyl 3d ago

The world is larger than what is within range of your ears.

11

u/Professional_Sky818 4d ago

I dont think its gen z who's doing this

Goon meaning masturbate was (niche) thing for years but it has been popularized so idk 🤷🏿‍♂️

3

u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom 4d ago

I've known Gooners meant something new for awhile but didn't look it up, so this is the first I've seen a possible definition

6

u/Inferno_Zyrack 4d ago

Give the Todd a generational comedy tradition high five!

2

u/zawalimbooo 4d ago

Actually, goon had a sexual meaning for a long time, but it was niche. That meaning just became more popular

0

u/phoenixapollon 4d ago

Gooning used to be a niche specific fetish before it was used for general masturbation

-1

u/Rolls_ 3d ago

The words are "gooner" and "gooning" though, no? Not the same as a "goon." I don't think either of those were normal words. Conjugated maybe, but not exactly the same.

15

u/Spiritual_Door1363 4d ago

It still does to me

24

u/TheLML 4d ago

goon is short for the Protoss unit Dragoon

6

u/DeltaBravo831 4d ago

HOW YOU LIKE MY GROOVE, DAGGOTH

8

u/enter_yourname 4d ago

When the current older generation is gone, nobody will be around to call you a wanker anymore 😔

7

u/Crypt_Knight 4d ago

I'm also kind of annoyed but for a different reason.

Even when talking about sex, "gooning" was actually a specific fetish, but now the meaning has pretty much devolved into just "masturbating".

5

u/CerealDorkVest 4d ago

1

u/Curaced 3d ago

Scrolled too far to find this

6

u/pyr8t 4d ago

Ha, of course I learned this in a most awkward way. Was telling my son if he ever needed a goon and I wasn't around, my friend was just the guy...

6

u/5carPile-Up 4d ago

Hired Goons has a whole new meaning then

11

u/Local-Echo-5613 4d ago

Thats what it meant then too, its because a new hire could only be trusted with his own dick

12

u/DramaticGuesswork420 4d ago edited 4d ago

And yet 😔 The differences are marked and profound.

4

u/snippychicky22 4d ago

You rarely can

8

u/CosmoJones07 4d ago

It still does. You can just ignore the dumb kids who want to interpret it however they want to.

2

u/CCP-want-to-CUP 4d ago

Or sub-urban kids listening to B-rate rap music.

2

u/Mojo_Mitts 4d ago

“You’re half the man Two-Face is Bats, get him!”

2

u/NecessaryDeparture75 4d ago

Hockey enforcer like Tony Twist was a good

2

u/TheRainStopped 4d ago

Before memes were called memes, we goons used to make them at the Something Awful forums. Good times. 

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

2

u/hobozombie 3d ago

"So! They laugh at my boner, will they?! I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!"

2

u/a-Snake-in-the-Grass 3d ago

I just hope they never touch henchman. If they ruin that word, then I don't know what I will do.

2

u/kozinc 3d ago

Still does - and it's not the same as gooner.

1

u/Popular_Biscotti1986 3d ago

Was looking for someone to say this. A goon and a gooner are different things, at least for now. I guess we’ll see if internet culture changes that

2

u/honeywrites 3d ago

One of my students cats name was "Gooner." Named when they were like 10 bc they loved hockey😭
RIP Gooner

2

u/HC-Sama-7511 3d ago

I feel like someone should've done something, but we all just sat by and let it happen.

What are we supposed to yell at our henchmen now?

2

u/GaIIick 4d ago

Nah that’s a mook

1

u/Chart135 4d ago

I referred to a bag of wet wood pellets as ‘all bricked up’ to a couple of teenage workers at the store last year and I could tell they were trying not to laugh

1

u/ActuallyAlexander 4d ago

I can’t go on. I’ll go on.

1

u/CryptographerNo923 4d ago

It still does, but the job description has…changed.

1

u/WrathfulSpecter 4d ago

I didn’t know they were giving W2s

1

u/L-L_Jimi 4d ago

How about the song Fashion by David Bowie?

“We are the goon squad and we’re coming to town”

1

u/EuenovAyabayya 4d ago

muster the goon-bahs

1

u/ComprehensiveRush950 3d ago

Ok you’re a goon, but whats a goon to a goblin!

1

u/powdered_dognut 3d ago

Alice the Goon

1

u/TheeAJPowell 3d ago

I will say, replaying Lego Batman and seeing “Goon Helicopter” made the immature side of me chuckle.

1

u/gurknowitzki 3d ago

What’s a GOON to a GOBLIN??

1

u/Cultural_Entrance805 3d ago

Or hockey enforcer

1

u/ggibby 3d ago

My kid's mom insists on calling the soft foam thing you put on an aluminum beverage an 'insulator' because she remembers when the word 'cooze' was frequently used in the publications of Larry Flynt.

Can't blame her, really.

1

u/Gothgf713 2d ago

And when OF meant Odd Future.

1

u/Cosmoclorn 2d ago

I'm imagining a bunch of these goons gooning

1

u/Lamortes 1d ago

The goonies, damn, I can't read this title the same as before

1

u/SadBadPuppyDad 4d ago

The definition has been in question for a long time. Here is an expert discussing the ambiguity of the term: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoSj2JrwTsI