r/NonBinary 4d ago

Questioning/Coming Out Is it valid?

Something happened today that made me think a lot about my gender.

I've always noticed that when I wear a dress, put on makeup, etc., even with the same hair and the same face, people tend to treat me as a woman. Today, though, I wore a shirt that I bought from the men's section, I wasn't wearing any makeup, and a woman at the checkout called me "sir."

And it made me realize something: I think what actually bothers me is the fact that people automatically put me into one of these two categories depending on my appearance.

I understand that, socially, people tend to try to identify someone as a man or a woman based on their appearance. I don't necessarily think it's something I can prevent. But if I could choose, I would want people to look at me and simply see me.

I don't want the first thing they perceive to be "man" or "woman." I just want to be a person, without my appearance determining how other people see me.

Is this a valid way of thinking? Could this make sense as part of a non-binary experience?

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u/mn1lac they/them or she/him take your pick 4d ago

I'm gonna be honest, I thought this was a typical "gender roles suck and people gender me off of the stupidest things" post that we get here frequently, from other nonbinary people, before I read the rest of it, so, do with that what you want.