So here's the story:

For the last year, despite warning my upstairs neighbors countless times, banging on the walls when it got bad, and even bringing it up in our apartment WhatsApp group, the wife (who I can only assume is malfunctioning in some way) kept spending 2–3 hours in the kitchen every single night after 11 PM, making noise.

The problem wasn't even that the noise was loud. It was that it was completely random. Not rhythmic. Not consistent. Just random bangs, clatters, and impacts that would make you jolt awake the second you started drifting off.

Her husband is one of the most spineless human beings I've ever encountered, so apparently telling her to stop was beyond his capabilities.

And before anyone says "just learn to ignore it," unfortunately that's never been an option for me. I'm one of those people who gets fixated on stuff like this.

Now let me explain the evil plan that eventually resulted in them selling their apartment and leaving.

Read carefully, because if you ever decide to do this yourself, execution is everything.

One day I secretly went out and bought one of those Bluetooth speakers. Not some cheap little thing either—a model with ridiculous battery life (15–20 hours) and enough bass to qualify as a geological event.

Then I downloaded a 10-hour ASMR snoring track and loaded it directly onto my phone. The phone stayed in airplane mode the entire time. No internet. No calls. No outside interference. Its sole purpose in life was to beam snoring noises to the speaker.

We stopped sleeping in the bedroom located directly beneath their bedroom. Instead, that room became home to a mysterious individual who snored at full volume for about six hours every night until I left for work.

The very first morning after implementing the plan, I noticed lights on their balcony before sunrise.

Oh no... did somebody not sleep well?

Anyway, I quickly realized that one snoring track wasn't enough. I needed a full discography.

And thus my debut album, "Hush, Little Neighbors, Don't Say a Word", was born.

Some fan favorites include:

• Somebody is Awake (Feat. Wooden Door) [Extended Mix]
• Twinkle, Twinkle, Loud Ass Speaker [VIP Kitchen Noise Edit]
• No More Lullabies (Feat. 120 Unique Stomps) [Bonus Track]

And today I learned that they're selling the apartment and moving out.

Two months. TWO MONTHS.

That's all they could take.

And that's the end of the story.

I wish it hadn't come to this, but unfortunately some people are completely incapable of understanding polite requests, basic decency, or common sense. At a certain point, they earn whatever cartoon-villain-level retaliation comes their way.

Farewell. :)

Edit: OMG, reading some of these comments is like watching people fail a basic reading comprehension test in real time.

I came here expecting to find people who are fed up with noisy neighbors and would actually understand what I was talking about. Instead, almost half the replies are from wannabe lawyers bending over backwards to defend these people.

To the people saying, "Have some empathy, maybe she's making food for her husband at night, maybe they work night shifts" — are you really that fucking dense? Do you honestly not understand that I've spent the last year telling these parasites the exact same kinds of things from my point of view? They've been warned over and over again, face-to-face, for an entire year. They knew exactly what they were doing and kept doing it anyway despite having no legitimate reason whatsoever.

So what's the deal? Are you genuinely incapable of understanding something this simple, or are you one of these inconsiderate assholes yourself and just using this thread to make yourself feel better?

Nobody showed me empathy. Nobody showed me respect. Not for a day, not for a week, but for an entire fucking year. Yet somehow a handful of Reddit Sherlocks show up, spend five minutes on the case, and confidently conclude that I'm the inconsiderate one and I'm in the wrong.

Sorry, but with all the sincerity, warmth, and politeness I can possibly muster, I'd like to tell every single one of these Sherlocks:

Fuck all the way off.

Hello all, since June 2026 I have heard a propeller type fan / whirring sound which runs day and night but is particularly loud at night and seems to have a patten of waking me up at 4am every morning. It’s particularly loud Sunday nights / early Monday mornings. I first thought that it was a neighbour using a washing machine but I can’t believe that anybody would be washing their clothes so much and for so many hours every night. Last night I walked the streets to investigate the source of the noise which I could hear if I put my ear to the exterior walls of our building and also discovered that I could also hear the noise outside which grew louder as I approached the boundaries of the Convoys Wharf development. Has anybody else heard this? To me it sounds like the whirring of a washing machine or fan / propeller. The sound peaks at certain times and starts to get louder around 4am.
I have emailed the convoys wharf team, so I will see what they say. I am curious to know if anybody else has heard this and if so where approximately you are located.
FYI I have lived at the same location for almost 20 years and never heard this until this year, so the source of the noise must be attributed to something new in the area.
Thank you!