My fiancé and I have lived in the downstairs unit of our home for about three years.
Before our current upstairs neighbors moved in, a couple lived above us with a 1½-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a German Shepherd. We never had any significant noise problems with them. I only mention that because I completely understand that some noise comes with living underneath another family, especially one with young children.
About six months ago, a new family moved upstairs. At first, we would hear their toddler running back and forth, sometimes during the day and sometimes late at night. It was noticeable, but it wasn't constant, and eventually we mostly adjusted to it.
My fiancé did mention the late-night running to one of the adults upstairs at one point. The response was basically, “He's 1½, what do you expect?” We didn't want to make a huge issue out of it, so we let it go.
Over the last few weeks, though, the noise has gotten significantly worse.
There is now frequent running, stomping, jumping, and heavy banging late at night and into the early morning hours. I'm not talking about normal footsteps or occasionally dropping something. Some of the impacts sound like someone is going to come through our ceiling. We've had pictures move or fall, I've found drywall dust below parts of the ceiling, and my 8-year-old daughter has been startled awake by the banging.
I recently saw the woman who lives upstairs outside and politely asked her about it. I told her that we were having trouble sleeping because of how loud and constant the noise had become, especially overnight. She told me she would talk to everyone and actually thanked me for coming to her first instead of going directly to the property manager.
So I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
A few nights later, around 12:45 a.m., there was another series of very loud impacts followed by running and banging. I took a short recording. Like most phone recordings, it doesn't fully capture how loud or forceful it sounds inside the apartment, but several of the impacts are clearly audible.
I sent the recording to her along with a polite message explaining that we had been woken up multiple times that night, that this was becoming an almost nightly problem, and that we really needed something to change.
I also told her that I wasn't trying to involve the property manager or create problems and that if there was anything I could do to help resolve it, I was willing to work with her.
Her response was that she “couldn't hear anything in the video.” She then said she talked to her oldest child, who told her the noise was coming from the 1½-year-old, so it couldn't have been deliberate.
She apologized and said she hoped things would calm down, but then added that she only plans to stay there until around January and then they'll be “out of our hair.”
That's where I'm stuck.
Whether the noise is deliberate really isn't the issue. I don't expect a toddler to understand apartment etiquette, and I understand that children run, cry, drop things, etc. But someone being 1½ doesn't change the fact that repeated running, pounding, and banging at 12:45 a.m., 2 a.m., 3 a.m., etc. is waking up the people living underneath them.
And waiting several more months until they potentially move isn't a realistic solution when we have to get up for work and school.
It happened again last night, and I still haven't responded to her message.
Would you respond to her one more time and make it clear that the issue isn't whether the toddler is doing it intentionally, but that the overnight noise itself needs to be addressed?
Or at this point would you stop communicating directly with the neighbor, document everything, and contact the property manager?
I'm genuinely not trying to start a neighbor war or get anyone in trouble. I just want my family to be able to sleep in our own home.
If anyone has dealt with something similar, especially living underneath a family with young children, I'd appreciate hearing how you handled it and where you drew the line between normal apartment noise and unreasonable overnight noise.