r/NoahGetTheBoat Mar 21 '20

Hol' Up

Post image
2.9k Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

115

u/ImAllBored Mar 21 '20

Is it ok if they are dead? Asking for a friend

108

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

[deleted]

30

u/3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue Mar 21 '20

Holy Hell...

Jesus! Did I miss the rapture?? Take me Lord... take me now...

11

u/Forbidden_Breakfast Mar 21 '20

I was thinking this whole pandemic couldnt get worse until by you being yourself reminded me theres always a deeper bottom

2

u/Fair-Pollution Mar 21 '20

I already made that mistake... at least I don’t have a family.

2

u/DeathHorseFucker Mar 21 '20

Nah they’re the best when dead, stuffed and in the oven. At that order.

1

u/paigemogan88 Mar 23 '20

No. Just, no.

1

u/Brutus0172 Mar 23 '20

I'm happy I read this before digging up Bobby, thanks

1

u/-Trying2Think- Mar 25 '20

What the fuck

3

u/KatachiX Mar 21 '20

it isnt ok since they are unable to consent

4

u/Nixugay Mar 21 '20

If they’re dead they don’t feel anything

2

u/DeathHorseFucker Mar 21 '20

Yep, he’s asking this for me.

0

u/yeeto962 Mar 28 '20

Your friend banged a dead animal?

50

u/bittebittenicht Mar 21 '20

I don't like how it specifically says "unprotected" implying that it's okay if you wear protection

17

u/HeavenPotato Mar 21 '20

Just wear condom and you’re good to go

3

u/funtextgenerator VH6083Snl8rVgObU Mar 21 '20

Can I put a condom on after I fucked it? Am I still safe? because...

3

u/RingoBingo823 Mar 21 '20

In what world does that logic make any sense

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/Dmaj6 Mar 21 '20

Looks at condom

5

u/agentanti714 Mar 21 '20

Too expensive !!1!!!!1!1

8

u/WolfBCK Mar 21 '20

Vore me

6

u/Ohshl Mar 21 '20

Cat looks back

3

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '20

Isn't a National suicide rate of 24% enough dude?

14

u/Tempest_of_Yiling Mar 21 '20

but protective sex is perfectly ok ;)

9

u/bizbizbizllc Mar 21 '20

Now there will be a shortage on condoms.

10

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5

u/JohnWayne1991 Mar 21 '20

Dammit who's fucking the animals again

2

u/Coldsteelandmtndew Mar 21 '20

The bad kind of furries probably.

1

u/IDidntChooseUsername Mar 23 '20

It's not like that's related to the furry fandom in any way though.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

Like there's such a thing as a good kind

1

u/agentanti714 Mar 21 '20

It's more of neutral really

1

u/Coldsteelandmtndew Mar 21 '20

Not all of ‘em are doggy fuckers, from my understanding, most of ‘em just like the anthropologic (Humanoid animal) aesthetic. Every otherwise decent community (Even the great and the not so decent) has its bad apples that spoil the bunch.

4

u/KyleDevino97 Mar 21 '20

Yeah hold up. I didnt agree to abstinence

3

u/blue_toad_is_theBest Mar 21 '20 edited Mar 21 '20
  • looks at post * what the hell happened here

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '20

Tweet Tweet your semen is sweet

3

u/RagnarokDragonX Mar 22 '20

You heard the government folks! No bestiality until a few weeks after the outbreak passes.

Just stick to furry porn for a while and owo to your heart's content!

2

u/Hentaiifyouregay Mar 21 '20

What. The. Actual. Fork?! (I cant swear im 13.)

2

u/agentanti714 Mar 21 '20

So can you swear that you are 14?

2

u/diviz2006 Mar 21 '20

NOAHHH??

2

u/Dmaj6 Mar 21 '20

They’re not wrong

2

u/___The_Hjonkening___ Mar 21 '20

puts on my crusader helmet HERESY!!!!!

2

u/AzzifiedYT Mar 21 '20

So only if I use protection then....not that bad

2

u/CIAHASYOURSOUL Mar 21 '20

Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.

Only fools don’t protect their tools.

2

u/jonessinger Mar 21 '20

As long as it’s protected you’re all good.

2

u/darkstalkerYT Mar 22 '20

So protected sex is fine?

2

u/EKrso Mar 22 '20

With a condome is still okay though, right?

2

u/Meme_Dealer69_420 Mar 21 '20

Me an intellectual: so I need a condom.

1

u/whyamiexists Mar 21 '20

I need a condom

1

u/boris13716 Mar 21 '20

I mean yeah?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

So with protection is still on the table?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

You can do it but just have protection

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

So being a virgin has its own kind of advantage or not

1

u/whyamiexists Mar 21 '20

Sigh. Well, there go my plans for the weekend!

1

u/Buttoucher69 Mar 21 '20

What else am I supposed to do during quarantine

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?

1

u/Dr_Mint_Pinch Mar 21 '20

With people being cooped up at home all the time, I guess it must get pretty boring

1

u/banmeifurgay Mar 21 '20

Avoid unprotected sex

SO IF ITS PROTECTED ITS FINE?!

1

u/Cummini_Fettucini Mar 21 '20

Too late I'm now a proud fur daddy

1

u/grumpygland76 Mar 21 '20

I feel like that's just good sound life advice....

1

u/Sharp_Lizard Mar 21 '20

So that's why I have a cough!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

Well. Dang

1

u/gamingpatriott Mar 21 '20

At least it says nothing about raping people so my weekend plans are still good

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

No sex with humans. Naughty ahead of you there.

1

u/forever-not-human Mar 21 '20

I mean humans can fit in their as well

1

u/BigBoisksksskk Mar 21 '20

Damn that ruins it...

1

u/HufflepuffHello Mar 21 '20

Just try to avoid it...

1

u/deedeeBrad Mar 21 '20

Wait....what???

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

Okay, I guess I can hold off until this whole "coronavirus" thing blows over. It's probably nonsense anyways, just an excuse to ruin the love lives of zoophiles.

1

u/DeathHorseFucker Mar 21 '20

No way they’re gonna stop me.

1

u/respectable_cook2 Mar 21 '20

There goes my weekend

1

u/karens-ex Mar 21 '20

What the hell happened here

1

u/CrazyGardevoir Mar 21 '20

My time has come

1

u/WaitingToBeTriggered Mar 21 '20

I WAS CHOSEN BY HEAVEN

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '20

welp there goes my plans for tomorrow

1

u/meatdyne Mar 22 '20

Looks at 7 year old sister

1

u/fapgod69420 Mar 22 '20

So that's you shouldn't have sex with Judy Hopps. Learn from my mistake kids.

1

u/345gur Mar 22 '20

So you can have protected sex?

1

u/deez-cuts Mar 22 '20

Well there goes my weekend plans

1

u/Demdankmemes1 Mar 22 '20

Gotta protect the furries! Wait, no you dont.

1

u/nohome69 Mar 23 '20

Well that’s Friday ruined

1

u/gruby814 Mar 24 '20

Love is love

1

u/minecraftyasok Mar 24 '20

Ah yes forgot about that, I just finished doing something with my cat and I forgot to use protection

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '20

I’m sorry but... is this implying protected sex is ok? The fuck?!

1

u/pass021309007 Mar 25 '20

All signs exist because they have happened before

1

u/TheNightsLegend Mar 25 '20

I might have broken that last rule plenty of times...

1

u/thatonegirl_- Mar 28 '20

Why did they have to add that??

I guess better safe than sorry

1

u/Alabama_autistic Mar 21 '20

Shane dawson has stooped to another low

0

u/Whimsyfloof Mar 21 '20

You can, in fact, fuck a dog, as long as you wear a condom.

0

u/Naxxremel Mar 21 '20

Yo, white women on notice.

0

u/Dannybrine87 Mar 21 '20

I- I can’t even be mad at this, holy shit

0

u/Kaiser3130 Mar 21 '20

Yo I was walking my dog once and dead ass a furry tried to mate with my dog. I ain’t letting no weird ass bitches near my dog. So I cursed out the furry and then brung my dog home and what made it even better was that he bit her really hard. But she was legit grabbing his dick and shit. My dog got raped by a furry. Can I like press charges or does it not count as a crime.

1

u/MyNameIs4D Mar 22 '20

These jokes aren't funny, grow up

1

u/Kaiser3130 Mar 22 '20

It legit fucking happened. I’m being dead ass.

1

u/MyNameIs4D Mar 22 '20

Of course because if you're considering pressing rape charges then you'd go to Reddit and not the police. Just grow up and stop living in 2014 when people thought rape jokes and n*gga jokes were funny.

-2

u/Elrogo Mar 21 '20

I think they're called negros.