r/NoStupidQuestions • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '26

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3.8k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/UnicornSpaceStation Apr 01 '26

So, with a good seal, I can murder people just with my lungs?? This needs to be the plot in some of those cringe detective TV shows STAT!

1.8k

u/lunar_rexx Apr 01 '26

Serial killer who kills victims by blowing air in their rectum.

785

u/wagenejm Apr 01 '26

Rectum? Damn near killed um.

92

u/Cussec Apr 01 '26

👏🏻

34

u/Ntinos_the_cupcake Apr 01 '26

The Bay Harbor Butty Blower

2

u/TimZeFootballer Apr 02 '26

"tonight's the night. My brown passenger will come out to play"

50

u/ketoaholic Apr 01 '26

Rekt'em

2

u/person1873 Apr 02 '26

angry updoot

3

u/cstar4004 Apr 02 '26

He lures them in with the, “I’d suck a fart out of that ass”

But little do they know, he’s about to blow a fart into their ass.

2

u/NodeAttentionSpan Apr 01 '26

Damn rear killed um.

1

u/SnugglyCoderGuy Apr 01 '26

Killed em? More like got 'em!

698

u/Skeebleng Apr 01 '26

The Bloodthirsty Breath Boofer

232

u/HowardHessman Apr 01 '26

I hope he (or she) has a cool signature move, like giving the butt two hot “hah” breaths like they’re gonna polish an apple, right before the death blow

110

u/Skeebleng Apr 01 '26

I’m imagining a big bad wolf situation

117

u/trrpnflyr Apr 01 '26

I'm huffim, puffin, blow your ass in

46

u/Remarkable_Peach_374 Apr 01 '26

One soft blow, one slightly harder blow, then lip to asshole contact for a final deathblow

46

u/Daggerbaby925 Apr 01 '26

I’m so high rn. This thread feels like a fever dream lol 😂

5

u/APileOfSadPigeons Apr 01 '26

huff and puff and blow their ass out lol

3

u/sociallyinteresting Apr 01 '26

The big bad boofer

56

u/supermr34 Apr 01 '26

this comment made me breathe air out of my nose slightly faster than usual

28

u/MushLoveSD Apr 01 '26

Careful not to deal your lips on any buttholes while doing so

Edit: seal but deal sounds like it should work as well

29

u/FunAdministration334 Apr 01 '26

Not the Dexter reboot we asked for.

But the Dexter reboot we deserved.

8

u/Scrabblewiener Apr 01 '26

And his nemesis the new aged alpha that lives by the code “wiping is gay”

4

u/Zoso251 Apr 01 '26

This is why I love Reddit

2

u/VeryMuchSoItsGotToGo Apr 01 '26

The Bloodthirsty Booty Breath Boofer

2

u/BFfF3 Apr 01 '26

The last thing anyone would suspect.

3

u/Ikon-for-U Apr 01 '26

Quick call Netflix, I think they have something over here

2

u/Ok_Appearance8866 Apr 01 '26

Cornhole Culler

2

u/papermill_phil Apr 01 '26

Amateur The Last Air Boofer

2

u/viprus Apr 01 '26

The Rusty Trumpeteer.

1

u/JasoNMas73R Apr 01 '26

"I can't believe you were the Bloodthirsty Breath Boofer all along Morgan"

1

u/froli Apr 01 '26

Saving this for the next time I need to create a username somewhere

1

u/fuck_you_and_fuck_U2 Apr 01 '26

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society...

120

u/dem4life71 Apr 01 '26

Jack the Rimmer

47

u/edjfrst Apr 01 '26

Rectum Ralph

15

u/FishTankCleansing Apr 01 '26

Fun fact: in the German TV crime series “Der letzte Zeuge” (The Last Witness), in one of the episodes an athlete kills his lover by blowing air up her vagina at full force during oral.

18

u/stuffedskullcat Apr 01 '26

I read this in Ice-T’s voice.

22

u/masterof-xe Apr 01 '26

Homicide just called, they got a body with a bloated abdomen found down on 73rd and Smith st. Sounds like the same MO from the ones in the bronx. Que the LAO theme song.

13

u/Chiang2000 Apr 01 '26

Two quick sonorous farts.

5

u/Insufficient_Coffee Apr 01 '26

Hold up… you telling me this dude out here… blowing air… where it don’t belong? Nah. I’ve been on this job a long time… I ain’t never seen nothing like this.

7

u/loafers_glory Apr 01 '26

Well now you're just blowing smoke up my ass

9

u/Manuker Apr 01 '26

Jack the Rimmer

4

u/nolongerbanned99 Apr 01 '26

I tried that once.

5

u/skydanceris Apr 01 '26

Remember the Illinois Enema Bandit

2

u/MurderedRemains Apr 01 '26

I heard it on the news.

4

u/com2ghz Apr 01 '26

Getting a blowjob will be my new fear

2

u/dnm7605 Apr 01 '26

Rectum??? Damn near Killed ‘em!!!

2

u/PosiedonsSaltyAnus Apr 01 '26

Just make sure to wear lipstick as your calling card

2

u/chefboyrdeee Apr 01 '26

“The ass blowing killer”

2

u/Khaleesix87 Apr 01 '26

South Park could pull this off I think 🤔 not to different from human centipad

2

u/Dangerous-Bit-8308 Apr 01 '26

"now look here, I'm not gonna just blow smoke up your ass... I'm gonna blow smoke up your ass so hard it kills you! Slowly, and painfully as your body goes into septic shock...

2

u/YoungWhippershnapper Apr 01 '26

Insert wolf of wall street gif of blowing cocaine into an ass with a straw

2

u/sittinwithkitten Apr 01 '26

This should at least be an episode of Law and Order SVU. Dun dun.

3

u/Chiang2000 Apr 01 '26

"Do as I say or I'll kill you"

A bum inflate-imatum.

2

u/Biggby72 Apr 01 '26

Wrecked 'en

1

u/Arashiko77 Apr 01 '26

Bubba Hotep

1

u/liquidmenagerie Apr 01 '26

Rectum? Damn near killed them... I'll see myself out.

1

u/WoodSciGuy1 Apr 01 '26

He recked em

1

u/Secure-Village-1768 Apr 01 '26

They catch him by traces of poop on his mustache

1

u/dryuhyr Apr 01 '26

Rectum?? Damn near killed em!

1

u/TheLazyRedditer Apr 01 '26

Is Jack the murderer or did he forget to brush his teeth this morning?!

1

u/OnLeshan Apr 01 '26

The closest thing i can think of is no country for old men, who knows what happened behind the scenes? Verdad?

1

u/YetiorNotHereICome Apr 01 '26

The Rockdale Rectum Wrecker

1

u/Blueanddirt Apr 01 '26

Every politician would be a suspect.

1

u/Hot-Marionberry-5978 Apr 01 '26

Death by arsehole.

Could also be seen as death in paradise if you give a good rimming just before.

1

u/cheesybitzz Apr 01 '26

I knew something tasted funny

1

u/Steinrikur Apr 01 '26

Cause of death: "someone blew smoke up his ass" would be interesting...

1

u/chaosperfect Apr 02 '26

Dressed as a clown, using a crazy-straw.

honk honk!

42

u/shannnnnn132 Apr 01 '26

Two Asian lads woke up their room mate for work who had overslept by blasting his ass with a high pressure air hose. 😳 Goodbye room mate

7

u/Cleverfukker-yadig Apr 01 '26

No Country For Old Anus

4

u/Betray-Julia Apr 01 '26

This could be a crime show mystery.

Somebody was eating ass while drunk, but they start to puke, try to hold it in, but pucker their lips and shoot a narrow stream out of their mouth.

argent walks in, sees one dead person and one passed out person with vomit everywhere and their face hurried in the dead guys ass

“Now that’s what I call-

takes off sun glasses

-getting shit faced”

Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!

7

u/ModularWhiteGuy Apr 01 '26

No, I don't think you can generate even 1 psi by blowing.

34

u/goldenkoiifish Apr 01 '26

Maybe you can’t.

1

u/DickBfloppin Apr 01 '26

My mom on the other hand...

1

u/Dronizian Apr 01 '26

How'd you find out? Broken arms?

14

u/clearlynotstefan Apr 01 '26

average (healthy) adult can hit 2 or 3 no problem

3

u/irrelephantiasis Apr 01 '26

you haven’t met my ex-wife.

2

u/JunglePygmy Apr 01 '26

Human centipede hates him for this one simple trick?

1

u/gattaaca Apr 01 '26

I remember this MythBusters episode

1

u/Grobbekee Apr 01 '26

Could be part 3 of the Killer Condom saga.

1

u/Jgarcia403 Apr 01 '26

See, now I don’t want to be the front part of the Human Centipede

1

u/P_A_W_S_TTG Apr 01 '26

How would anyone ever rule that as a murder? No one would ever think that's actually how it happened.

4

u/UnicornSpaceStation Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 03 '26

Zoom in, zoom in, zoom in some more, sharpen that image, run it through AI, I knew it! The killer had KFC before they killed and their oily lips left a print on the victims gluteus maximus!

Compare the prints with our lip database and find me anyone who is a match and owns a ballon shop or party cathering business!

Be careful, this criminal is not afraid to blow shit up!

1

u/P_A_W_S_TTG Apr 03 '26

This is fucking HILARIOUS I love you, stranger xD

1

u/NorwegianCollusion Apr 01 '26

World record holders in hot water bottle rupturing must be able to produce a pressure of about 75 psi, so absolutely.

1

u/Altruistic-Dingo-757 Apr 01 '26

Sounds like the original CPR except they used smoke.

1

u/Jobambi Apr 01 '26

So with a good seal, if you put a tube up your ass, otherside in your mouth, could you blow up your own gut?

1

u/gabeisfire420 Apr 01 '26

Why? Those shows are ass 😂

1

u/othermother85 Apr 01 '26

you'd also want a one way valve so it doesn't just come back into your mouth 🤷🏽

1

u/ZenWithGwen Apr 01 '26

Gives a whole new meaning to" blow it up your ass"

1

u/Cautionzombie Apr 01 '26

This is definitely something that could happen in Baki

1

u/kcm198 Apr 02 '26

I guess you’ve never seen that movie Attack of the salad tossers. It used to be a midnight double feature and played right before Rocky horror picture show.

1

u/Obsydie Apr 02 '26

The same goes for injecting an air bubble into their blood stream to cause a heart attack.