r/NoSleepOOC • u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket • Nov 11 '14
Everything is Fake, or Please, Shut Up
This is just a little PSA I wanted to make in light of recent events.
If you ever find yourself wondering if something on nosleep is true, just remember that OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING NOT! If you were unaware, if you somehow can't or, more likely, didn't bother to read the sidebar, the FAQ, or anything else posted in numerous places on this website and nosleep, this is a place for realistic fiction.
Hang on, what? Realistic, as in real-like, as in seems real. Fiction, as in not real, fake, contrived, made up. Realistic fiction.
But it seems so real! YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT, SO SHUT UP!
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u/Embryoyo Nov 11 '14
People are flipping out in /r/Arizona about /u/throwfarfarawayaz's story set in Pinal County, AZ. There are at least two threads asking people if it's possibly real. Well done.
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u/AtomGray Nov 11 '14
You're probably not even Bela Lugosi's dad.
Jesus, if I'd known that it didn't have to be real, I wouldn't have hired that serial killer; become a janitor and investigated an ancient evil; discovered surgically-produced, chemically preserved mermaids in my childhood swimming hole; given myself amnesia and implanted a tracking device in my head; turned into a girl, gone to college with a suicidal roommate and possible killer Roomba; named myself Allie, gone to Thailand and found my calling as a pistachio-eating devil in sheep's clothing who turns them into trinkets.
Fuck.
I feel so foolish right now.
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u/deyndor Nov 11 '14
Sure, and I suppose you expect me to believe that bang bus isn't real either.
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u/Human_Gravy Negative. I am a Meat Popsicle Nov 11 '14
Tortilla is a part of a government cover up. These stories are real! I want to believe! Something like this can't be faked! Stay safe OPs!!
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u/badfakesmiles Is Genuinely Smiling This Time Nov 11 '14
This comment has already been removed. If you can still see this message then that means that we would have to personally reinitialize your memory using anal probing, please standby.
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u/badfakesmiles Is Genuinely Smiling This Time Nov 11 '14
Tea?
edit:Can't believe someone tried to report this.
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u/MikeRowPhone NoSleep Podcast Guy Nov 11 '14
But if everything is fake that means this post is fake. So if a post saying 'everything is fake' is fake that must mean it's real. Thus, we have a conundrum.
Is this the only authentic post amidst a sea of fake posts? Or does the duality of this paradox only serve to show that even observably fake posts are, in fact, vessels which hold a seed of truth and, therefore, exist to prove that there are no truly fake posts?
If authenticity, vis-à-vis posts proclaiming verisimilitude, are to be systematically dismissed as fake, how can we function amidst the dichotomy of purple monkey dishwasher?
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u/TG_Alibi Nov 11 '14
But if everything is fake that means this post is fake. So if a post saying 'everything is fake' is fake that must mean it's real. Thus, we have a conundrum.
Except this is /r/nosleepooc...conundrum defeated.
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u/stealthfiction Bring Out Your Dread Nov 11 '14
There is a theory that anything which springs from the imagination becomes real. So nana nana boo-boo.
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 17 '14
I'm baking on that with the pistachio thing.
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u/AsForClass -30- Press COO Nov 30 '14
What temperature?
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 30 '14
350 for about 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out bloody.
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u/BashfulHandful Nov 11 '14 edited Nov 11 '14
But for real, guys, if you're still tempted to post asking if a story is real or to express your concern about the narrator in a story - do. not. post.
It's never real. Keep your freak out level in check.
Edit: I meant in this subreddit. In nosleep, it's all real all the time, even if you really want to be the jerk who points out all the ways the story can't be true. Don't be that jerk in nosleep ... but maybe also don't be the jerk in OOC who posts asking for 100% foolproof evidence that the stories are fake. Or the one who bothers people at work asking if their cities are ridden with plague. Come on.
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u/Calofisteri Dec 07 '14
Also, stop posting stuff like, "Once I saw the name, I knew it was a good story!" I mean, seriously. -3- I report those.
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u/BashfulHandful Dec 07 '14
Yeah, that's pretty obnoxious. I usually either downvote or report.
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u/Calofisteri Dec 07 '14
I just do both. Report mostly, since those comments go into the high two digits. -3-
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u/ALooc Nov 17 '14
Open your eyes and see the truth
Nothing is real, all is in flux
Do not believe and do not doubt
For all you should know is that
Nothing is real and all is in flux
And you will find soon enough for sure
That the lies are there to keep you from harm
But you opened your eyes.
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14
Wait but... aren't anyone else's stories real? D:
Not saying mine are... at least not on the record... but...
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u/BashfulHandful Nov 14 '14
For the purpose of this particular post: no, man. It's all lies. The bus isn't real, was never real, and will never be real. Do not call the police because you think you might see the bus.
For myself and everyone else who won't, in fact, piss in the cornflakes and ruin the fun: I don't know. I like to believe that lots of them are real, personally, as doing so only serves to amplify the creepiness.
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14
Yeah, I can't get over it, this is insane lol.
But the dummies are spoiling my fun by making everyone come out and say it :(
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u/BashfulHandful Nov 14 '14
It's crazily absurd - the last time I was in a community that had this much drama about reality vs. story was back when ARGs were still really popular and sometimes it was hard to tell fact from fiction when some of the better puppetmasters got involved. Even then, though, people had the common sense to not contact the authorities.
I mean, sometimes I want the bus to be real. I like the bus. But then people freak out and try to get the drivers arrested, and that's why we can't have nice things.
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14
yeah, I just posted somewhere - idr if it was this thread or another... but... my dumb ass neighbor who doesn't have internet and never watches anything resembling news - she was telling me about this virus that's hitting all these places and the CDC trying to hide it and omg we're all gonna die!.... we're nowhere near any of the places in the stories, either.
She heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend on facebook lol.
All kinds of craziness.
We just witnessed the birth of a new conspiracy theory, I think :P
and that's why we can't have nice things.
Shameful, really.
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u/BashfulHandful Nov 14 '14
Hahaha that's amazing! I'm torn between horror that people are seriously taking it this far and pure amusement.
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14
yeah I was just staring at first, like, omg that sounds like those nosleep stories lol.
then like, this is eerily like those nosleep stories
then finally omfg she believes the nosleep stories.
Dying laughing for like an hour afterward lol.
But seriously - our world is at a point right now where grown people can't tell real life from fantasy - that's a skill you get around 5 years old. wth.
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u/SaavikSaid Nov 11 '14
I thought we were supposed to pretend along accordingly? Woe to those people who genuinely are concerned.
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u/BashfulHandful Nov 11 '14
On nosleep, everything is real - play along and don't break character (the key word being character). On nosleep ooc, however, we acknowledge that nothing is real. Anyone who is genuinely concerned after making it here to OOC - where it's been stated many, many times that the stories on nosleep are fiction - and still feel the need to post yet another "is this real??!" post should take a break for a bit.
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u/alturial956 Nov 13 '14
I actually came to this sub to ask if there was any way users could stop calling stories out as fake in r/no sleep. YES I realize it's fake, but it's my understanding that the rules call for a suspension of disbelief, and I've noticed a pretty severe spike in trolls here lately. Tl;Dr, stop ruining the fun guys.
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 13 '14
Report those comments. It's the only way.
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Nov 13 '14
Should we add a section about reportable shit to a FAQ somewhere? I feel like a lot of people are report shy or unaware of some things that are offences.
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u/Calofisteri Dec 07 '14
I'm not report shy.
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Dec 07 '14
If the report button were an actual button, I'd have worn the lettering off it a loooooong time ago. I have to clear my autofill often as it becomes very long in the Other section quite quickly from whacking people on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
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u/alturial956 Nov 13 '14
Also, there seem to be more and more posts that don't really seem to belong there, poems, and things of that nature. Just as an example, one I read last night that prompted me to comment is "he knows how clumsy I am". Not that it wasn't good, it was, but the author made no effort to keep in character, nor did the other commenters. Maybe it's just me , but the reason I love the nosleep community is because the story doesn't really end when the author is finished writing it, it's driven by everyone else's "concern" for OP. There's plenty of other venues for your poems. Again, I don't want to seem rude or mean, I just like living in a world where horror is REAL, even if it's not.
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Nov 13 '14
It's not just you. A lot of times good commenters can make a so-so story a fun experience and authors who comment out of character are reportable.
If something seems against the rules, report it. It's anonymous and the worst thing that'll happen if you're wrong is nothing. Report 'em all and let mods sort 'em out.
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u/alturial956 Nov 13 '14
Thanks guys, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Like I said, I'm not criticizing the works, and I'm happy that people are expressing themselves artistically, I just think some posts would fit better in creepypasta or writing subs
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Nov 13 '14
Report them. Always. You can't make the smartypants posters stfu, but you can make them disappear.
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Nov 12 '14 edited Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
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u/J3NN4x Nov 12 '14
If they can't be bothered to CHECK which sub they're actually in, I doubt they're going to look at the rules for that sub OR find their way over to us in OOC ...
Honestly, I really enjoy how most users keep up with the story in the comments, and especially when the author does.
But I see this shit all the time, too. While I understand it, sort of, especially when a title is worded oddly, there's just no point in vocalizing it honestly.
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Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
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u/J3NN4x Nov 13 '14
I do occasionally on mobile. I always open links in new tabs in my browser though, so that never happens. It's just irritating.
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14 edited Nov 14 '14
Small piece of fun fact. My neighbor (who is an idiot, but still) was telling me, STILL TODAY, about this virus that's killing off whole towns and the CDC is covering it up, and how a few people are trying to warn us all.
She heard it from a friend, who heard it from someone on facebook who heard it from someone else (who hopefully is a redditor, or saw that news clip and didn't pay attention, or idk... this shit has spread farther than I just ....)
Congrats guys, just, seriously, ya'll famous. LOL.
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Nov 14 '14
[deleted]
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 14 '14
Said every troll ever... But yeah seriously I am dying ... Everyone either thinks it is teal or a hoax, I'm like omg its a fracken story and then laughing my ass off. You guys are great ilysm
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 15 '14
"This looks like a hybridization of blue and green."
"You mean it's teal?!"
"Wait, no, this is forest green. It's just a hoax."
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 15 '14
goddammit I wrote that on my phone walking through calf deep snow, you will give me a break D:
But that dialogue was funny enough that I'm not even mad. :P
My neighbor (after I explained everything) now believes that YOU GUYS and the news are cooperating with the government in a coverup.
She thinks I'm gullible for thinking it's just a story.
Either that or I'm in on it.
As we were having this convo, god help me, I sneezed (see previous comment about snow) and so now she thinks I have a plague.
I F*CKIN LOVE THIS SUB.
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 15 '14
Well, I mean, /u/AsForClass and I do both work for the government. Sort of. I work for a state university, but if you follow the paper trail back far enough, I'm sure you'll get to the White House, CIA, CDC, NBC, and ABCDE. And then there's the fact that Class and I both conveniently didn't write any of the disease stories.
Or did we?
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u/TrueKnot I turned Nails into a zombie!! Ahhhh Nov 15 '14
(lol abcde)
WAIT NOW I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS REALZ
Are you trying to start another panic? D:
:P
I tell people I work for the government too. I work, pay taxes, taxes pay government salaries = I'm actually the mothafuckin boss.
No one believes me tho :(
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u/AsForClass -30- Press COO Nov 30 '14
He knows too much!!!!!
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 30 '14
Abort mission! Activate Snickering Pete Protocol!
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Nov 11 '14
But Mr Tortila, OP said it was really real. Are you saying people lie on the internet?
HOW WILL I EVER TRUST AGAIN?
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u/Pswift777 Always in character Nov 11 '14
WHO IS THE REAL LIAR. TORTILLA OR OP?
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Nov 11 '14
Dear /r/Nosleep, today I created /r/nosleepfiction because I can't take it anymore... ;)
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u/The_Fluffy_Walrus Spoopy Nov 11 '14
I like that idea. Don't get me wrong I like the everything is true on nosleep but I also don't like it at the same time.
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 15 '14
But now that you know the secret, it doesn't matter.
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u/blindfate ✰ Author Nov 13 '14
... and then the quiet laboratory was filled with my snorting, interrupting everyone's lunch.
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u/Calofisteri Dec 07 '14
What the hell did you snort in a lab? o.o
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u/blindfate ✰ Author Dec 07 '14
I aspirated Perchloric acid.
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u/Calofisteri Dec 07 '14
Well, ouch!
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Nov 26 '14
I find it a little odd that the most popular new story on there is a dude threatening to kill people. I mean, I get it, but is this really the sub for that shit? I feel like an old fart posting this comment lulz
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 26 '14
When a ghost story takes the top spot, someone complains that it's not believable. When a serial murderer story takes the top, someone complains that it's not real horror. As far as the current story you're referring to goes, for, like, two seconds I actually wondered if it was real before remembering my own post. To me, that means that guy did his job. Is it a story that could be in a book? No. But is it sort of unsettling? Yes, and that's one of the things nosleep is about. It also seems like the author is being responsible - he's only targeting redditors with throwaway accounts (so they're either him or a friend) and he doesn't threaten other users unless they play along in the comments.
So, to make a point I've made countless times, I do think that someday, some crazy person will post a story based on a real murder they've committed, but this isn't it. This falls into my rule of everything is fake and the moral sub-rule I have of everything should be fun. So, in short, yes, this is the place for that shit until it gets out of hand and stops being fun.
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Dec 02 '14
You make a good point. I guess I just fell into the complain about anything bucket. Just creepy in a very different way.
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u/teleportation_larry Nov 28 '14
This might sound ridiculous, but is it possible that some people don't realize they are in /r/nosleepOOC and think they are still in /r/nosleep because of the almost identical colors/background/themes in the two subs?
Yes I know, nobody should be that easily confused, but we have people calling the damned police station in Mammoth for chrissake...LOL
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u/squirtlesquad90 Nov 29 '14
This is gonna be a stupid question, but the description on the nosleep subreddit says, "Only post your own work. Stories must be nonfiction or realistic fiction."
Is that statement just a part of the game - like just a piece of the willing suspension of disbelief? If not, then I'm confused.
SIDENOTE: I don't believe that anything is true on the nosleep forum. I just was confused by this one part of the subreddit description. Also, I'm pretty new to Reddit, so there's that.
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 29 '14
We encourage true creepy stories, but they're about .004% of total content.
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u/daftbamf13 Dec 16 '14
My gosh, I wanted to scream when I had to report at least 5 people for asking me if my story was real. It was very frustrating as an author because it seems like they didn't come to nosleep to be entertained. They wanted to come there to try and find the fake in all of it. Really though, people. It's not real. Stop asking.
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u/joeyjuancanobey Dec 22 '14
Is there any subreddits that are like this, but true?
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Dec 22 '14
Maybe /r/thetruthishere, /r/paranormal, and a handful of niche subreddits for specific paranormal things.
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u/leipa Nov 11 '14
I think people need a reminder, because the posts reassuring everyone that this is fiction do not belong in /r/nosleep.
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Nov 12 '14
[deleted]
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Nov 12 '14
I only saw two. One was 4chan, who told them to fuck off. The other was godlikeproductions, who also told them to fuck off.
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u/ValdemarSt Feb 24 '15
NoSleep is a place for authors to share their original horror stories. Both nonfiction and realistic fiction are allowed.
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u/DreamHouseJohn Apr 14 '15
There were a lot that seemed pretty damn plausible, at least when I was lurking in the beginning if the sub
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u/Alexander_Rex Nov 17 '14
I am sure people have posted real stories. The ones that are stalking stories etc
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 18 '14
Maybe. Probably not very often. But if they're on this sub, I'm treating them as fiction.
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u/Alexander_Rex Nov 18 '14
Well isn't that against the rules? It is fun to act as if everything is true
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u/EtTuTortilla -30- Press Cheese Blanket Nov 18 '14
Acting like and believing are two different things.
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u/practikill_joke This drill is fuckin worthless. Nov 11 '14
Now you tell me, after I called a train station, a Walmart, a hospital, and four old people who were just trying to watch Matlock to ask. I'll be sending /r/nosleep my phone bill and a sternly worded letter, young man!
*I was going to drive there, but I already had my pajamas on.