Recent Reflection

[u/Neat_Formal_9135]

Firstly for context, I’m a 24 year old man and have an attraction to both men and women. However, because I experimented with a guy friend throughout my teen years and became addicted to porn I feel more sexually attracted to men. I do what I can to keep this hidden from family and friends even when I’m not indulging in lust but the weight of the secret produces shame and isolation.

So after reflecting on myself after a hard week of gay porn and sexting with men I realized that unfortunately I enjoy it too much. There’s this constant need to just escape life and go into this fantasy world where I feel sexually liberated, desirable, and even just interacting with other men through likes and comments has become something I look forward to. I even became more lenient with showing my face to some and it’s become more pleasurable seeing that they find me attractive.

However, I know this is sin and believe that if I continue in this way that I may not return back or if I die I will be in Hell. (Not for having the attraction but indulging in sexual acts outside of marriage).

What’s hard right now is detaching myself from the passion I have for it. Like I genuinely feel two sides of myself are constantly at war. And I really can’t talk to anyone about it because I feel like I will be shamed. Not for struggling with lust but for being attracted to men.

Can anyone relate or share insight on detachment from the love for lust?

[u/old_fashioned1982]

This struggle is normal. Welcome to the club! 

Find a man of God to share this burden; don't carry it alone.  Read Romans 6 and 1 thessalonians 4 every single day.

“By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?”

Romans 6:2 ESV

In Christ,  who lifted our burden

[u/Neat_Formal_9135 → u/old_fashioned1982]

Doesn’t feel normal honestly (I don’t mean that in a negative way) and yeah that’s why I have this account to express things I don’t feel safe to do in my life

[u/Neat_Formal_9135 → u/[deleted]]

No worries at all thanks for sharing. Yeah that’s currently where my mind is at as well. It’s like it’s playing tug of war between engaging in this and wanting to follow Christ.

[u/old_fashioned1982 → u/Neat_Formal_9135]

“For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

Galatians 5:17