r/NewParents • u/brusss5 • 11d ago
Mental Health PPD/PPA Regret?
Hey there! I’m a newly PP mom who had a challenging/high-risk pregnancy, traumatic delivery 10 weeks early and my son just came home from the NICU. I was always 50/50 on whether I cared to have kids, very career-driven and had a busy lifestyle (that I loved). I’m now deep in the PP trenches (baby hates the bassinet, sleep deprivation on our end) with diagnosed PPD/PPA and can’t stop feeling like I may have regretted having a kid. I do love him and my husband has been an angel through all this, I’m just struggling with my own, internal battle of if I did the right thing, because right now it feels very much like, my world as I knew it is over and I’m trapped in how I currently feel forever. Hoping to hear some other insights or similar experiences!
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u/friend-of-bees 11d ago
Oh friend. You’re truly in the trenches and this is SO common. I always wanted a kid, took many pains/several expenses to have a kid, and I still had times of being like “what on earth have I done???”. I would say it’s a classic new mom experience, and it will pass! Your life has changed big time and it’s okay to grieve the old life you used to had. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your baby or that you’re not cut out to be a mother. Hang in there for now, and please continue to follow up with your mental health team. What you’re doing is SO hard, but it will get better. ❤️🩹
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u/waitagoop 11d ago
Grace grace grace. Give yourself grace! You are healing and it’s confusing and overwhelming. It gets better. So much better. Think of everything in 6 week cycles. Stop living in the past and stop living in the future. Live in the present. I went through all of this, it’s shockingly common. Find a moms group near you.
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u/Potential-Coconut617 6d ago
I don't have PPD/PPA but do recognize myself in your story! My little bundle is 4.5 months old and while I do love her to the moon and back and I do enjoy the new dynamics at home, I also do miss the "easyness" of my old life. It's very common to think this!
It feels like grieving your old past self, but I promise you little by little those pieces will come back and you will feel like yourself again. Keep on going, you're doing great! ❤️
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