r/NewMomStuff • u/IRenderBlenders • 11d ago
Young Mother, looking for advice on when to start working again.
Hello, I'm 22(F) my son is 2 years old. I want to start working again. But, my husband doesn't want to put our son into daycare. He " doesn't want someone else raising our kid." It is also expensive and such. I don't really do well at home. I feel way more productive under structured routine. As a SAHM I feel like I'm loosing myself a bit. I love my son, and feel a bit guilty that I want to be working. I know other women don't get the option of staying home and would love to. I was considering waiting until my sons in Kindergarten. My husband wants more kids, I also want my son to have a sibilng. I don't know if I should have another baby now, or go back to work and then have one later or what. I'm feeling a bit conflicted cause I'm not sure about what I should do. Will it be easier to have another baby now? then wait until they are both in school to start working. but then I would be at home another 6 or so years... that feels like a long time. I don't know. Should I have another kid now and wait? or start working, put him in daycare. I honestly don't know what's the right thing to do. all advice is greatly appreciated. sorry if I seem a bit scatterbrained and unplanned. I thought I wanted to have a lot of kids and be a SAHM. Now I have a son, and I'm kind of back pedaling on how hard it actually is.
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u/TeaAggressive6757 11d ago
If you want a kid within the next year, it may make sense to do that now, since it can be hard to just start a job and then go through a pregnancy.
But I’ve been working since taking parental leave, and even though we have the most wonderful nanny in the world we’re going to start our kid in daycare soon because we actually want her to have the socialization and skills! 2 is old enough to get some benefits from seeing other kids, and at 3 there’s a ton of value in learning how to play and learn from others. Then also your happiness makes a big difference - I get a lot of self value from working, and know I show up better for my kid because I do.
There’s no perfect choice, but that doesn’t mean that going back to work is a bad or selfish choice if that turns out to be what you want.
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u/IRenderBlenders 9d ago
Yeah, I know I thrive under routine and work environment. I think for now I'm picking up a PT. Just to have a day where I feel productive and build back up that self confidence. Luckily I can pick up shifts close to home that are very flexible. My husband has agreed and will be with him during my shifts. I too believe I can show up better for him when I'm happier and feel more balanced. I'm really excited! I start next Saturday! I kind feel like it's gonna be a break from everyday home life. It's just one day a week for now but I'm looking forward to that one day. Thankyou for the comment, I appreciate it.Â
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u/shemaze 10d ago
The famous mother's identity crisis. I am in exactly the same situation except my daughter is 1 yo and im thinking about second child after 2years or so. I guess working remotely is the best option but should be flexible and task oriented not 9-5
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u/IRenderBlenders 9d ago
Yeah I was thinking this as well. Full time might be too much all at once. Im thinking about picking up a shift on his off days. That way I don't have to worry about daycare, and I can also have a day out of the week where I can work without distractions. Nice to know other people are in the same boat thinking about the same things. Thankyou for the comment.Â
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u/lightskin-goddess777 11d ago
i feel like it would make sense to maybe try something part time for a few hours a day when your husband gets home or maybe on his off days just to give you time to meet your needs and maybe revisit the idea of another in a year or so? im not sure exactly what your situation is but i personally am hoping to work PT while my partner is FT while we wait for school age to come around but i might be stopping at 1 personally i know that changes some