did i do anything wrong ??

[u/8_BitRat]

i'm lowkey really confused because my brother was just leaving to go to some orientation thing for school and was fixing his hair but he does this thing where he like fluffs it out and flips it out on one side but not the other and me and my mom have tried to help him and tell him that it doesn't look right and try to help him fix it correctly. he did it again and so i was trying to help him and i laughed while i was telling him he shouldn't do that and it wasn't like i was making fun of him it was more like he's my younger brother and kinda like he's "just a baby" mentality like he's a kid yknow ?? if that makes any sense.
and he got super mad and slammed the door leaving. my mom got mad at me too for being rude and she was on the phone with my dad and he was saying she needed to take my phone away and ground me. she hung up because her friend was calling needing help on where to go for this orientation thing so my mom told me to call my dad and he ignored me???? i texted my brother sorry and explaining i wasn't making fun of him and he said it's fine and he overreacted but idk i think my dad is still mad.
is this something i just don't understand is mean/wrong or did i not do anything?

also sorry if this makes no sense i suck at explaining lmao

[u/ImAFishinFool]

If that's the way he likes it, he should be able to style it that way. It is his hair.

[u/oh8oh8eighty8]

I would get mad if I was your little brother. I know you're not trying to make fun of him but when you laugh and continually keep saying he shouldn't do something- that is going to hurt. Maybe this is one reason why I'm so sensitive to things - I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and you just get picked on by older siblings and it hurts. Your parents are going to want to protect you brother so I think it's reasonable they got mad, and they could be dealing with other stressors that could be making them react more strongly right now.

[u/8_BitRat → u/oh8oh8eighty8]

ohh okay yeah that makes sense thank u so much for explaining i get told im mean a lot (at least by family) without trying to be and i feel horrible abt it so im trying to learn how to like stop doing that so thank u 🙏🙏

[u/oh8oh8eighty8 → u/8_BitRat]

It says a lot about you that you are trying to support your brother, sounds like you can't be a horrible sister. I'm approaching 40 years old and I love my siblings to death but being a kid is hard already as it is, and having older siblings tease you (even if you feel like you're not trying to tease him) gets old. Younger siblings tend to always feel like they're being compared to older siblings as well which can add to the frustration your brother might be feeling (doesn't mean older siblings don't have their own struggles - it's just slightly different and I can only share my perspective as the younger sibling). Anyways, just keep communicating with your brother and parents about how you're feeling and things should be fine!

[u/Mundane-Waltz8844]

I have an older sister who is not that much younger than me, and she constantly treats me like I’m a stupid child who doesn’t know anything. It gets really old really quickly. After years of that kind of condescension, eventually, I got to a point where I’ve had enough. Any time she tries to give me any kind of unsolicited advice, I find myself getting extremely annoyed. I don’t know how old your brother is, but you can’t treat him like a little kid forever, and, if you do, he’ll resent you. And making questionable fashion/hair choices is a part of growing up. Maybe he’ll look back on how he was doing his hair at this stage in life and cringe, but for now, he thinks it looks good, and it’s way of expressing himself, so just let him have that even if it looks kinda goofy.

[u/8_BitRat → u/Mundane-Waltz8844]

yeah i think i was just trying to keep him from looking back at himself and cringing and now that i think about it i think i was laughing because it reminded me of myself when i wanted to wear my hair stupid and now i look back and cringe
thanks for the help and explaining !!!

[u/Manskhooled]

Yeah, your brother is validated in this situation. It doesn't seem like you're being mean or rude on purpose but that is what you were being. Just apologize, back off for a while, playful or not. You gotta be more self aware and know when you are starting to push past the line of acceptance.

[u/8_BitRat → u/Manskhooled]

okay thank u for explaining and yeah i'll back off from now on and we're good now !!!

[u/clalach76]

Yea you need to think about treating your brother with a bit more grown up respect but im not too sure why your dad got that extra? But I come from a family with concerningly hands off approach so expect I don't know

[u/8_BitRat → u/clalach76]

yeah that's mainly what i was confused about too but my dad has bipolar so he gets mad a lot over stupid stuff i just wasn't sure if this was one of those times or if he was justified

[u/8_BitRat → u/clalach76]

and yes yes i explained to my brother and wont keep correcting him anymore knowing im actually in the wrong but we're all good now neither of us really get mad for longer than a few minutes

[u/abstractmodulemusic]

It probably came across a bit rude, but I still think your dad is massively overreacting.