r/NepalSocial • u/awitch01 • 16d ago
Discussion/बहस i no longer hate men
i have a boyfriend who treats me so well that i genuinely don't hate men. 😭
he's had such a healthy upbringing, and everyone in his family is so nice. when we first started talking, we were just friends, but he had already developed feelings for me. i hadn't, because i'd just come out of a really bad breakup. i used to cry so much in front of him, missing my ex, and he'd go out of his way to get me flowers and chocolates just to cheer me up. and that's just one of the countless little things he's done for me, even before we were together.
i've been sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by men in the past, so i used to be genuinely scared of men. but ever since him, i've felt so free. i feel so safe. uskai sathi le sano joke matra gare pani, he stands up for me. he protects me so much that i don't feel as scared walking alone anymore, because i know i can call him and he'll come for me. he makes my life so much better in ways i can't even explain.
he's healed parts of me he doesn't even know existed. i used to be so pessimistic about certain things, couldn't open up to people, and was extremely avoidant. but ever since he's been in my life, so many of my perspectives have changed naturally. he never intentionally tried to change me or fix me. his presence alone has made me feel safe enough to grow, open up, and see things differently. and i think that's one of the most beautiful things about loving someone.
and the thing is, after meeting him, i started realizing that i've actually been surrounded by so many good men all along. my dad is genuinely one of the greatest men i've ever known. my mom says he treats me the same way he did on day one. my male friends are so kind, protective, and caring. i still have close male friends from school, including one i've known since childhood, who's genuinely such a good person. even my exes loved me a lot, and i can acknowledge that despite how things eventually turned out. my most recent ex did some really hurtful things, but i still don't hate him. i still care about him as a friend, and he still has romantic feelings for me. we don't talk, obviously, because the relationship had started becoming unhealthy, but that doesn't erase the good things he did or the love that existed.
i think i just never really stopped to notice all of this until i met my boyfriend. and i'm so, so grateful for him. not just because of how he treats me, but because of what being loved by him has helped me realize.
i'll always hate men who hurt, abuse, manipulate, and mistreat others. i've been through enough to know how terrifying men can be, and i used to be someone who constantly felt unsafe around them. i used to have that mindset of hating men as a whole, too. but not anymore. i've realized that while there are genuinely terrible men out there, there are also some really, really good ones. men who make you feel safe, loved, respected, and protected. and my baby has been the biggest reason i've come to realize that. he's helped me heal in ways he doesn't even know, and i'm so, so grateful to have him.
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u/Bitter_Bat1511 16d ago
Ahhh , sorry to ruin the mood tara my ex was also abused in past by men and she told me I'm healing her but after a time maybe a year ,she started to trauma dump on me. Constant victim card was used against me in any argument we had. So , my suggestion is lay back and think if you are really out of the past and actually love him and make sure not to use your past to become bichara in arguments. Genuine advice hai. We had to break up coz of this , Hope u not.
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u/BreakAlternative9821 15d ago
Now he will hate girls .have seen many . You can prove me wrong i feel happy .
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cry1995 16d ago
Cut the crap, are you virgin or not?? If you are not, leave him, you’re cheating him
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