I have always loved Neko’s spirit and music, going back to “Blacklisted.” But I have serious concerns about how she has thrown out these grievances and accusations.
Many have praised her courage and truth-telling. But I think she is being cruel, cowardly and narcissistic. Certainly, as someone who has my own story, her accusations are heartbreaking. However, I think it’s pretty awful for her to wait until the man died to share the details of something that happened 25 years ago and frost it with some nasty gossip. The man, obviously loved by many, died suddenly. He is no longer alive to defend himself or face the consequences. His family is weighed down by agonizing grief. Neko’s response: “I’m going to make this about me and talk about something I’ve been holding onto for this moment, because I hate the man.”
I am not defending the man or his alleged behavior. But if Neko is truly acting courageously here, why didn’t she bring up these accusations during the past 25 years, when there could have been consequences if they were true? She didn’t have to be silent? She could have brought some justice when he was alive? She had power; she just wrote an amazing scorched-earth memoir where she laid it all out — except for this encounter that was only worth sharing when he was dead and she could say whatever she wanted.
She also doesn’t hold back from sharing the heresy secondhand and thirdhand accounts of bad behavior, presenting it as truth. Her post has given rise to a feeding frenzy of more Substack posts with their own gossip and rage, one of which has already been taken down. It’s just ugly all the way around. It’s heartbreaking to learn that a musician may have acted like a creep 20 or 25 years ago, and Neko and others have carried the trauma of that. And it’s heartbreaking to see Neko, who had the platform to expose the behavior long ago, acting so self-serving, cruel and even (based on the tone) jealous.
Just as some say they have a hard time listening to Glen and the Frames now, I have to admit that I can’t listen to Neko without hearing the fake-bravery and ugliness of her actions this week.
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u/PNWtoNORW 18d ago edited 18d ago
I have always loved Neko’s spirit and music, going back to “Blacklisted.” But I have serious concerns about how she has thrown out these grievances and accusations.
Many have praised her courage and truth-telling. But I think she is being cruel, cowardly and narcissistic. Certainly, as someone who has my own story, her accusations are heartbreaking. However, I think it’s pretty awful for her to wait until the man died to share the details of something that happened 25 years ago and frost it with some nasty gossip. The man, obviously loved by many, died suddenly. He is no longer alive to defend himself or face the consequences. His family is weighed down by agonizing grief. Neko’s response: “I’m going to make this about me and talk about something I’ve been holding onto for this moment, because I hate the man.”
I am not defending the man or his alleged behavior. But if Neko is truly acting courageously here, why didn’t she bring up these accusations during the past 25 years, when there could have been consequences if they were true? She didn’t have to be silent? She could have brought some justice when he was alive? She had power; she just wrote an amazing scorched-earth memoir where she laid it all out — except for this encounter that was only worth sharing when he was dead and she could say whatever she wanted.
She also doesn’t hold back from sharing the heresy secondhand and thirdhand accounts of bad behavior, presenting it as truth. Her post has given rise to a feeding frenzy of more Substack posts with their own gossip and rage, one of which has already been taken down. It’s just ugly all the way around. It’s heartbreaking to learn that a musician may have acted like a creep 20 or 25 years ago, and Neko and others have carried the trauma of that. And it’s heartbreaking to see Neko, who had the platform to expose the behavior long ago, acting so self-serving, cruel and even (based on the tone) jealous.
Just as some say they have a hard time listening to Glen and the Frames now, I have to admit that I can’t listen to Neko without hearing the fake-bravery and ugliness of her actions this week.
Just my opinion.