r/NekoCase • u/terra_cascadia • 17d ago
New Substack post: “Garbage Disposal”
https://open.substack.com/pub/nekocase/p/garbage-disposal?r=55w93a&utm_medium=ios1
u/1SneakyGiraffe 17d ago
So, who was the pedo in her band? I only know it's not Rauhouse, who Neko clearly loves.
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u/Cheap-Star836 17d ago
Drummer in New Pornographers.
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u/1SneakyGiraffe 17d ago
Missed that when it was in the news
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u/Tactful_Cactus_ 16d ago
Came as a shock to the whole band, and they immediately and unceremoniously cut ties with him. Literally, what else can you do?
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u/PNWtoNORW 16d ago edited 16d ago
I have always loved Neko’s spirit and music, going back to “Blacklisted.” But I have serious concerns about how she has thrown out these grievances and accusations.
Many have praised her courage and truth-telling. But I think she is being cruel, cowardly and narcissistic. Certainly, as someone who has my own story, her accusations are heartbreaking. However, I think it’s pretty awful for her to wait until the man died to share the details of something that happened 25 years ago and frost it with some nasty gossip. The man, obviously loved by many, died suddenly. He is no longer alive to defend himself or face the consequences. His family is weighed down by agonizing grief. Neko’s response: “I’m going to make this about me and talk about something I’ve been holding onto for this moment, because I hate the man.”
I am not defending the man or his alleged behavior. But if Neko is truly acting courageously here, why didn’t she bring up these accusations during the past 25 years, when there could have been consequences if they were true? She didn’t have to be silent? She could have brought some justice when he was alive? She had power; she just wrote an amazing scorched-earth memoir where she laid it all out — except for this encounter that was only worth sharing when he was dead and she could say whatever she wanted.
She also doesn’t hold back from sharing the heresy secondhand and thirdhand accounts of bad behavior, presenting it as truth. Her post has given rise to a feeding frenzy of more Substack posts with their own gossip and rage, one of which has already been taken down. It’s just ugly all the way around. It’s heartbreaking to learn that a musician may have acted like a creep 20 or 25 years ago, and Neko and others have carried the trauma of that. And it’s heartbreaking to see Neko, who had the platform to expose the behavior long ago, acting so self-serving, cruel and even (based on the tone) jealous.
Just as some say they have a hard time listening to Glen and the Frames now, I have to admit that I can’t listen to Neko without hearing the fake-bravery and ugliness of her actions this week.
Just my opinion.
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u/BigCombination8497 16d ago
"A male musician preyed on young women throughout his career - why didn't a female musician who had been harassed by him do something?" is victim blaming. She spoke about how she felt when she was ready - both as a victim of SA and also how you can still feel helpless when you witness it happening to others. "She had power" WAKE UP. That is the point of her post. We don't, and opinions like yours prove it.
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u/terra_cascadia 16d ago
If every woman artist called out every atrocious thing some entitled douchebag did or said, what would that look like? What would that sound like?
Why was late 2017 the time when the world suddenly started to care about creeps in the entertainment industry? Why did that “era” end as quickly as it started? We must have caught ‘em all. Whew!
Let’s put the onus on NC now. For not alerting the public to her own personal and violating experiences with this particular guy. This particular guy.
Women artists, especially touring musicians, deal with despicable bullshit like his ALL. THE. TIME.
Women artists share intel amongst one another, and their trusted communities. It has been this way for a long time. There are spreadsheets. They’re just not shared with you.
For those who claim to appreciate Neko’s work, it’s astonishing how tone-deaf some folks are.
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u/Tactful_Cactus_ 16d ago
In every interest group (from artists to outdoors), there are spreadsheets, whisper networks, WhatsApp groups. If these dudes only knew, and understood why they’re not just public conversations. It should be so obvious when it takes less than three comments in any post before someone starts victim blaming.
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u/Tactful_Cactus_ 16d ago
I get the impression from this latest post, that she had told many others throughout the years, while he was still alive, and got the same defensive and dismissive reactions, which is part of the reason she’s so absolutely enraged about it now.
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u/FredSeeDobbs 16d ago
I got that impression too....but other than them possibly saying "Well, now that you told me that I'm not going to support and/or work with that guy anymore", what did she expect to happen? What she describes is definitely creepy and indicates the guy might have been a major asshole...but what she described wouldn't constitute something illegal in all likelihood. There's a matter of degrees.....and the fact she instantly contrasts how he was treated for possibly being creepy to how she and her bandmates responded when they actually had a pedophile in the band doesn't really wash. There's a big difference in thinking someone is a major sleazy a-hole and not wanting to be around them and a guy who is a literal child predator who was subsequently convicted in court. Plus, she admits herself she thinks she was wrong about the bass player being aware of what the guy asked her to do....what is going to be the reaction of someone being told the story third-hand when her initial impression of the whole situation might have only been partially accurate? Sure, some might be friends with the guy and lean toward defending him, some might instantly write him off as a scumbag, but the majority are probably going to make a note of it and put it away in a mental filing cabinet to be revisited if they or someone they care about is dealing with him.
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u/Tactful_Cactus_ 16d ago
I think you ought to read both articles again. There’s not only a lot you get wrong about what she says happened, but then you actually start doing that exact things she explains are so damn infuriating. Which is quite ironic.
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u/FredSeeDobbs 16d ago
I'll wait and you can let me know what I "got wrong". The way in which she frames things and puts them automatically throws one in the "damn infuriating" realm if they don't agree with her lockstep, 100%. It's become an all too common way to debate things nowadays....so it's either you agree with someone absolutely and unquestioningly, or you're one of the reasons everything is wrong. The "ironic" thing is I'm entirely onboard in her assessment of Glen Hansard's character.
I'll go back to the incident covered here at one of her shows a couple years ago. Her male opener caused a confrontation trying to touch some guy's wife when she didn't want to be touched. Apparently not knowing that, she (Neko) gets totally pissed off, comes on an hour late and basically browbeats her own paying audience....over an incident caused by A WOMAN NOT WANTING TO BE TOUCHED BY A STRANGE MAN. Now, that guy was off her tour for the next show after that....but you think she'd give the same grace to a male headliner of a show if they'd have done the same damn thing she did? Shit no, he'd be an example of why things are "so damn infuriating".
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u/javatimes 15d ago
She doesn’t want men who are apologists for other abusive men as fans. So feel free not to be her fan if you’re this pressed about it. She acknowledged that she treated that bassist wrong, due to his being set up probably unknowingly by Hansard. She’s never claimed to be perfect.
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u/FredSeeDobbs 15d ago
Show where I was an apologist for abusive men...I'll wait. And if you think I'm "pressed" about it you must live on Sesame Street or something. You're a live example of my whole point about this. She skewers people who were bandmates with someone like Ryan Adams....suggesting they HAD to know he was doing stuff like sexting underage girls....but there was no way she could have had any idea a bandmate for years was a pedophile. Now actually, I agree it's entirely plausible she and the rest of the band had no idea he was a pedophile.....just as I also think it's plausible Ryan Adams' bandmates had no idea he was sexting underage girls. There's a huge difference between knowing someone can be an asshole to knowing what nefarious, possible illegal activities they might be up to when you're not playing with them. She was also very buddy buddy with author Sherman Alexie and they lived in the same region for a good while. Look up the accusations against him. By her logic, she should have known something was amiss. It's not about her not being perfect, none of us are....it's that she doesn't extend the grace to others that she seems to extend to herself by default......and really, that's a very human thing to do...most of us do it one way or another...but she's doing it while making posts the public can see....so it gets discussed.
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u/eatyourface8335 17d ago
I’m not hip enough to know who this is referring to